Host: Wally Bruner
Announcer: Johnny Olson
Celebrity Panel:
- Soupy Sales
- Anita Gillette
- Bert Convy
- Arlene Francis
FIRST GUEST: Francis Kelly (Bronx, NY)
He’s self-employed, concerned with a product
Arlene: Might I possibly have this product?
You Could
Used by both sexes?
Yes
Does it come in contact with the person?
No $5
Soupy: Found in the home?
Yes
Found in one room more than another?
Probably, but Wally calls it a No $10
Anita: Could I hold it in my hand?
Yes
Comes in contact with other places beside the hand?
No $15
Bert: Is this product functional?
“It Lives” Bert heard it, but Francis and Wally deny it.
Go on, you big stoop!
Does it do something?
Yes
Does it perform a task for the home?
Not necessarily $20
Arlene: Is this product is or has every been alive?
Yes
In the animal family?
Yes
Is it a pet?
“It Can Be”
Is it a Bird?
Yes
Is it a Canary or Parakeet? (There’s a difference)
Canary
Does it talk?
No $25
Soupy: “He gains 300 pounds and hollers CHEEP?”
Not a question
Do you train canaries?
Yes
“They kamikaze canaries. They throw themselves in cat’s mouths?”
Train them to sing?
YES
Our bird expert has brought a quartet of his class of 60! Yes! 60! Johnny O. brings them out, after they’ve been flying around the dressing room. Wally says a cat stood by in case they got rowdy. Francis has no problem living with ’em all By listening to what the mic was picking up, they are have bass voices. Wally needs to bring them closer. All you can do is give them time to work out their stage fright. In a contest, birds get up to a half a hour to perform!
Our birds have gotten a little better. In other knowledge, Francis uses a graduate canary to train students. But with only a little taste, another group of birds serenade us. (The Panel)
SECOND GUEST: Dianna Engel (New York City)
She’s salaried and deals with a service.
Soupy: Would I come to you?
Yes (Bert: Can I come with you?)
Are you wearing something other than what you’re wearing?
(Dianna has a typical 60s floral dress) No $5
Anita: Would I use it too?
Yes
Would I enjoy it as much as Soupy?
Aside from some side benefits, Yes
Do you touch people?
No $10
I’m so sorry to hear that?
Bert
Would you say this service would make me feel better?
No therapeutic benefit but Yes
Would I need an appointment?
No $15
Arlene: Are you employed with others in the same line?
Yes
A place where one might wants some relaxation?
Dianna says Yes but Wally doesn’t think so. Arlene’s getting miffed, so it’s a Yes
Do they serve anything to eat or drink?
A definite No $20
Soupy: Is there an office?
Yes
Do you do any paperwork?
Yes
Do people come that have a particular problem involving paperwork?
Dianna was unsure, but time’s up anyway
Arlene guesses it’s a cashier. Soupy guesses a hostess on a patrol wagon. Both wrong! She’s a STOCKBROKER. Her company is Kern Securities. How did a nice girl like you get in a business like this? She just started investing, got good and decided to spread the knowledge. And the men don’t see to mind if you earn their respect. Soupy and Bert are in for sure.
MYSTERY GUEST
The guest welcomes us in a voice sounding like Julia Child.
“It’s one of my mother’s favorite shows and one of the birds is loose backstage.
Bert: Are you primarily known for television?
Yes, giggling with excitement
Arlene: Do you have your own series?
Yes
Soupy: A nighttime show?
No
Anita: Afternoon talk show?
No
Bert: Game Show?
Yes
Arlene: Are you the moderator?
“Yes, and I’m so beautiful”
Soupy: GENE RAYBURN, everyone knew it.
Gene says he’s done plenty of voices with his wife…
IT WASN’T A JOKE, A BIRD IS LOOSE!
Anyway, Mrs. Rayburn says Gene has a certain tone in his voice. The only option was Falsetto. The entire panel has been on “The Match Game”. Along with all those game shows and #1 DJ in New York, what’s left? Two Things: Create a starring role in Broadway and movie. After that, he’ll quit! ANYTHING BUT THAT! Reminisicing about past What’s My Line appearances, there was the time Gene milked a cow with the boy from Illinois. One of the most popular things fans talk about. Soupy says the cow should’ve gotten kid gloves, Gene’s got the coldest hands in the business. Cold Hands, Warm Personality!
Honest Answers:
Marsha Robbins (New Rochelle) for Soupy:
“Do you really wear a Mickey Mouse watch?”
Answer: Yes, and we get the closeup to prove it. When it slows down, he feeds it cheese
For Bert: “What was your occupation before you became an actor?”
Answer: Played in the Philadelphia Phillies farm system
Arlene: Do you have any dogs?
Answer: Not currently, but there used to be Otto Von Bismarck (Dacushand), Sheep dog, Scottie, Russian Wolfhound.
Wait, what about the canary! He flew to the top of the lights and finally began to sing. Don’t call the Humane Society, the bird’s back in safe hands.
What’s My Line? is owned by Fremantle.
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