Host: Wally Bruner Announcer: Johnny Olson Celebrity Panel:
Soupy Sales
Meredith MacRae
Gene Rayburn
Arlene Francis
FIRST GUEST: Debbie Kath (Roseville, MN)
She deals with a service and is self-employed.
Soupy: Is it a service I might come to you for? Yes A service in some way or manner touch me? She says yes but after a conference No! $5
Meredith: In your service, do you instruct people? No $10
Gene: Is this a practical service? Yes Is it in the cultural field? No $15
Arlene: Is your service for human beings? Yes Could they ever come to you more than one at a time? Yes Do you work indoors? No $20
Soupy: Do you instruct in any way? Been there, done that! Do it have to do with sports? Yes Is it unusual for you compared to a man? Yes Is this a national sport, or seasonal like football or baseball? No $25
Meredith: Is it a team sport? No $30
Gene: “Do you put the shot?” No $35
Arlene: When you’re involved, are balls involved in some way? No $40
Soupy: Is this a sport where animals would be involved? No (Last Chance)
Meredith: Do you hold something or move something with your hands? Yes Are you involved with chess or bridge? Game Over
Debbie Kath is the youngest female hot air BALLOONIST in the world. And she does instruct, but it’s not her basic job. Ballooning is more about advertising and putting on a show. She can stay up around an hour “while my gas holds up.” (No Fart Jokes, please) All this started after writing a paper for 8th grade about “Stratospheric Research”. Busy for a 19 y.o., Debbie is also her hometown “Miss Roseville.” As for airplane, coming here was her first flight.
NEXT GUEST: Eddie Pulaski (“Fun City”, NY)
He’s self-employed and deals with a product.
Arlene: Is it a useful product? Yes A product one would find in a home? No
Soupy: A man would use rather than a woman? Yes If I wore it, would I look different? Yes Something that would approve my appearance from the waist up? Yes Do you have anything to do with beards? Yes Do you sell fake beards? YES (AND MUSTACHES)
Soupy’s FINALLY GOT ONE THIS WEEK! Mr. Pulaski been at this for a year. He gets many young men who can’t grow their own facial hair. Other clients work in banks or other places that don’t allow it. Eddie’s new career followed 30 years being a barber. Indeed, Gene was a customer and would’ve disqualified himself.
Onto the demonstration, Eddie puts a businessman type on Wally. “It’s a bit difficult to breathe.” Before going to Soupy and Gene, Eddie reveals his fake hair…including his head. He makes hairpieces, too! Soupy (Diabolical, Mitch Miller) and Gene (“Gilded The Lily”)
MYSTERY GUEST
Gene: Are you wearing a beard? Yes (still can’t tell man or woman) Arlene: Is it your own beard? Yes Soupy: Do you have a television show? No Meredith: Are you known primarily for motion pictures? No Gene: Are you an author? Yes, among other fields. Arlene: Are you also a musician? Not particularly Soupy: Are you also an actor? Yes Meredith: Have you ever appeared on Broadway? No Gene (who thought he had it): Are you inscrutable? Yes (both in bad Chinese impressions) Arlene: Have you done any records? Yes Soupy: Do you currently have a record that’s a best-seller? No Meredith: Did you ever have a partner? No, under a minute Gene: Do you have a mustache? Yes Arlene: The last time I saw you, were you not smooth-shaven? Yes Did you write “Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah” Yes IT’S ALLEN SHERMAN
Wally declares it’s time to take the fake mustaches off. Allen’s is real! A staff member tried to pull it off backstage. Among other things (writer for “I’ve Got a Secret”) he’s casting a comedy musical for Broadway. His last record “Togetherness” was released about a year prior. Wally recounts a story about Allen and his maid in California. He’d just been fired from “The Steve Allen Show” They were trying to decide who should file for unemployment pay. The other would’ve had to clean the house.
Closing: Big news, Arlene has been elected to the United States Hall of Fame in Washington. To add to that, her son Peter is in Phi Beta Kappa in college.
Host: Wally Bruner Announcer: Johnny Olson Celebrity Panel:
Nipsey Russell
Joanna Barnes
Bert Convy
Arlene Francis
FIRST GUEST: Nancy Moritz (Yonkers, NY)
She’s salaried and deals with a service.
Bert: Could I avail myself in this service? Yes How about Arlene? Yes Do the people come to you? Yes Do you wear something else? Yes, most of the time Is it a uniform? Yes Is it an essential service? Yes Is it in the health field? No $5
Arlene: Yonkers had Arlene thinking the Chamber of Commerce, is it a non-profit? Yes Branch of the government? No $10
Nipsey: It has nothing to do with health? Yes, it doesn’t Anything to do with children? Yes An institution with the education of children? In a sense Do you deal with children and parents? Yes Do it have to do with orphans? Sometimes, but No $15
Joanna: Anything to do with bringing kids and adults together? Yes Anything to do with foster homes and adoptions? Yes, but it’s one of the extra services. Do you work indoors? Yes Anything to do with the law? No $20 (30 seconds left)
Bert after shifting through all the possibilities he was wrong about PASSES.
Arlene: Anything to do with the Lord? Yes Are you a minister of some kind? Yes, but it’s not enough (Wally reminds the panel she wears a uniform) Is she a nun or sister? No Game Over
Our guest is Capt. Nancy Moritz of THE SALVATION ARMY. And guess What? Arlene is an honorary Colonel, of the “best army in the world”. At the time, there were over 300,000 people in America and 2 million around the world! Let’s not forget the Salvation Army Christmas Band! Nancy says it’s not a requirement, but it’s about the joy of singing for the Lord. She plays coronet and tambourine. Sometimes piano, too, rough playing in December. Back to tambourine, we see sheet music written for the instrument. It’s in shapes looking straight out of geometry. All instructions for timing and choreography. It’s too confusing, we need a demonstration. Three tambourine dancers from the Salvation Army School of Officer Training in the Bronx.
Cadet Eileen Smith
Cadet Betty Jones
Cadet Joan Burke
After performing The March Parade by the New York Staff Band of the Salvation Army, it’s the panel’s turn. Three symbols are shown with numbers indicting the rhythm. Easy to explain, hard to show here, but the panel gets it.
SECOND GUEST: Sheldon Goldstein (Norwich, NY)
He’s self-employed and deals with a product.
Nipsey: Would the product be contrary to something that your appearance indicates? Wally gets it, Sheldon’s appearance is not a giveaway to his product. You don’t sell razor blades, do you? Since Nipsey agrees he meant it, No $5
Joanna: Does it have any electricity? No $10
Bert: Would we find it in our home? Yes Would it be mainly found in one room in the house? Yes Usually on the ground floor? Yes A room with an oven? Yes Could you hold it in your hand? Yes (Wally makes a fish face) If you held it in your hand, would it be functional? (The audience can’t hold back snickers) Yes Anything to do with the preparing of food? Yes Is it an implement? Oh a utensil, No $15
Arlene: Something put in the mouth? Yes Is it a “Food substance” itself? Yes Is it something you’d have for lunch? Yes Is it an accessory to the meal, instead of the main course? Yes Does it grow in the ground? Yes Does it have a distinctive odor? Yes (There goes the audience) In the vegetable family? Yes (15 second) Garlic, Onion or Pickle? No, No, No $20
Nipsey: Is it a seasoning or garnishment? No, expect in one case. And in this case, GAME OVER
It’s not radishes or ketchup, either. It’s SAUERKRAUT! Sheldon has his own company, “Ready Pac Foods” in Norwich. At the time, they were making 40 million pounds a year!
MYSTERY GUEST
Joanna: Are you a motion picture performer, predominately? No Bert almost wants to make a guess “It couldn’t be!”: You’re on the stage primarily? Yes Bert’s guess: Eileen Heckhart WRONG Arlene think she knows it, too: Are you currently appearing in a Broadway play with a small cast and is a big hit? Yes Arlene’s guess: Maureen…Wally finishes it, STAPLETON
And she was so afraid she wouldn’t be recognized, she would’ve signed in as Marlene Dietrich! Arlene says Maureen didn’t disguise her voice, but she says otherwise. Anyway, our guest is appearing in the play “Plaza Suite”, really three one act plays. Joanna mentions Maureen would soon appear in a movie, but she hates flying. She’s booked a train instead, too bad the 20th Century to Chicago was closed by this time. Wally suggest a freight instead! The film was “Airport” adapted from the book which she didn’t read. Maureen is playing Van Heflin’s wife. Afterwards, you would expect to see her return for the theatre version. The irony is not lost on Arlene.
HONEST ANSWERS
For Bert (From Helen O’Donnell, NYC): Do you have any children? Answer: Yes, Three Children. Ages 30, 24 and one’s about to graduate from college.
Arlene butted in. It’s 8 years, 3 years and 14 months. For Arlene (Mrs. T.H. Moore, Gainesville, FL): Which do you prefer: Television or legitimate stage and why? Answer: Devoted to television, it’s been very, very, good to her. Any actress prefers the stage for the excitement of playing to an audience. Overall, she likes them both.
We already learn he’s an usher right in this theatre and a college student. In between that, he’s salaried and working in a service.
Soupy (After a bit of rambling…) Does it have to do with show biz?
In the broadest sense, on the fringe (“He Makes Fringes”) It’s a Yes
Does it have to do with other people in showbiz?
No $5
Anita: Would I like to use your service?
Indirectly, same for Orson
It doesn’t matter if it’s a man or woman?
It doesn’t matter, Yes
When you perform, do people come to you?
Yes
Do you perform in a building?
Yes
Do you require a uniform?
Yes
Anita gets lost finding the next question: Do you use any equipment?
No $10
Orson (who thought Anita was talking instruments of torture): Would people come to you all alone?
No, which means your turn is over, Orson. $15
Arlene: You deal with groups of people?
More Than One
Do you instruct in any way?
James leans to No, but Wally needs a conference. There may be advice given, but there’s no degree of instruction. It’s still No $20
Soupy: Do you deal with groups other than people?
No $25
Anita: Do people hire you to take them around a building?
No $30
Orson: Is it a small group/number of people?
Yes
Would it be two?
Not necessarily
Would it help to know what you’re wearing?
Yes
Are you fully clad?
Yes
Wearing a suit like the suit and tie he’s wearing now?
No $35
Arlene: Anything athletic?
No, two to go and 15 seconds left
Soupy: Do you move around?
Another conference after James jumps with a No. Allegedly, he may have ups and downs.
Soupy: Do you have to touch anything to go up and down?
Wally brings this game to an end
If there’s anything James touches, it might be his nose going up and down the chimney. Mr. Proco is a DEPARTMENT STORE SANTA CLAUS. Specifically, at Lord & Taylor’s in NY, and it’s his second year. It took a while to learn how to get the voice down. We see some great looking pictures with a wide-eyed kid. Soupy asks if Jim every got a smack in the face. “Almost!”
Christmas is another story for the panel not figuring this out. In Soupy’s building, the elevator operator for 18 years is fired because the regular one came back.
SECOND GUEST: Charlotte Drury (Jackson Heights, NY)
After some applause from friends, we learn Charlotte is salaried, in services AND deals with a product
Arlene: A service I might use?
Yes
Requires some dexterity, for her to give it to me?
For the service itself, but let’s focus on the product
Is it a product you can hold it your hand?
No $5
Soupy with the age old Question: Is it bigger than a bread box?
Yes
A product used by men and women?
Yes
Does it touch the human body?
A quick no, then a conference changes it to Yes
Is it used in the home?
Definite No $10
Anita: Is it used in or near water?
Yes
Is it MUCH larger than a bread box?
Yes
Some sort of boat?
Yes
Do you operate this boat?
The boat is the product, she’s not involved in the operation. No leeway! $15 “It’s all yours, Orson”
Orson: Do you instruct in some way?
No $20
Arlene: Boats large enough for three or more passengers?
Yes
Are these decorated by you?
No $25
Soupy: Is it a dinghy?
Too small, “I’m pretty dinghy myself”, We’ll move on
Do you sell boats?
No $30
Anita: Arranging trips on boats?
Yes
Are you a travel agent?
Yes
Is it the liner around Manhattan?
Wally’s had enough! Charlotte RENTS YACHTS.
Mrs. Drury works for Wakefield Fortune Incorporated arranging cruises. A new service at the time, Charlotte has become a specialist in this field. Yachts all have their own crews. As you’d know from game show history, popular spots include the Caribbean, Mediterranean and Greek Isles. If Wally and the panel wanted a boat to rent, the smallest they could get would be about 54 ft. About $206 per person for one week including three meals a day. A larger, 200ft. power yacht on Mediterranean would take the whole studio. Total $12,000 a week per person. The interior is as fancy as any local hotel around here.
MYSTERY GUEST
A strong applause marks his/her arrival
Orson: May I assume that you’re in show business?
Yes
Arlene: Are you known for your work in the theater?
No
Wally says there are some you’d know this guest from theater, but primarily for something else.
Soupy: Would this activity be in motion pictures?
Yes
Anita: Do you live in this city, most of the time?
Wally doesn’t know for sure. In her business, she would be found in NYC sometimes.
Orson (30 sec. to go): Are you also in TV?
No, not at this moment
Arlene: Are you a singer?
Yes
Soupy: Did you earn your reputation in movies for musicals?
Yes
Anita: Are you in a musical picture right now?
No
Orson: A non-musical picture?
No, 15 seconds
Arlene: Are you appearing in a club or hotel in NYC?
Mark Rafferty (Staten Island, NY) for Anita: How tall are you? You seem so little, how do you get into mini-skirts?
Answer: 5’1” in stocking feet, but she often says 5’3”. And she buys clothes in the Junior Department. Not many mini-skirts, though
Larry Schmidt (Potsdam, PA) for Orson: “Where did you get the name Orson Bean?”
Answer: He made it up. His real name is Dallas Burrows which he said “Sounds Like a name a nut like Orson Bean would make Up” One last letter for “Souper Sales” but not enough time.
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