Tom Poston

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-February 1, 1981

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: Bonita Williams (Santa Ana, CA, originally from Nashville with Bahamian accent, former Navy Petty Officer, now a flight operator for major airline)
X: Calvin Rolling (Hanover, PA, high school guidance counselor, married to elem. teacher)

Round 1

Calvin Starts
1 Paul: In English, we know the three daughters of Zeus are Joy, Bloom and Brilliance. Together, they are known as the three what?
“Little Pigs”
Guess: The Three Muses
Calvin agrees O (Three Graces)
2 Marilyn and Billy: True or False? The man who wrote “Easter Parade” and “White Christmas” was Jewish.
Guess: True
Bonita agrees O (Irving Berlin)
3 Phyllis Diller to block: She’s wearing a choker, calling it a tiara worn low.
Question: Who’s the famous artist known for capturing the gay life in Paris?
Guess: Toulouse-Latrec
Calvin agrees X

Prize for Round 1: Chromcraft Dinette Set ($1,200+)

4 Garrett aka Chico Escuela: What does it mean when a baseball player fans?
Guess: Walks
Bonita agrees X (Strikes Out)
5 Robert: On Television, his buddies include Mr. Moose, Grandfather Clock and Bunny Rabbit. Who is it?
“Paul Lynde”
No Guess (Captain Kangaroo)
After Narcissus jilted Echo, who did he fall in love with?
Robert’s rusty in mythology, although he studied at Paloma College. Paloma is the goddess of fruit.
Calvin disagrees O
6 Tom to win: According to studies at Brown University, there are really only two odors that we consider good and clean. One is pine, what’s the other?
Tom: “A Danish”
Peter: “A Sweet Roll?”
Tom: “No, a Danish Flight Attendant”
“Has Paul Lynde been taken?”
Guess: Fresh Air
Bonita agrees X (Lemon)
7 Foster: How many days will uncooked poultry keep fresh?
“We’ll never know, because when we open the refrigerator, it flew away.”
Guess: 3 Days (Foster knows cooking)
Calvin agrees O (4 Days)
8 Elayne for 5-Square Win: According to the Cleveland Plane Dealer, out of every 10 women, how many are overweight?
“So hard to tell.” ” I guess you know you’re fat if your nightgown is pulling in CENSORED”
Guess: 6
Bonita disagrees WIN! (8 out of 10)

Round 2 Prize: Hamilton Charterole Grandfather Clock ($1,800+)

Today’s Big Winner:
* Trip to Kauai (1wk.@ Hanalai Bay, Airfare via Western)
* Botany 500 Men’s Wardrobe
* Skyway 8pc. Luggage
* Catalina His/Her Active Wear
* Fujica AX 35mm SLR Camera

Bonita starts
1 Paul: In his first term, Nixon was a minority president. What does that mean?
“He was Chinese”
Guess: He had the minority of votes and was still elected
Bonita agrees O (Less Than 50% of the Vote)
2 Tom: According to the L.A. Times, when travelling in the Arctic, eskimos usually stop every hour or so and do something. What do they do?
“Make Igloo”
Guess: They Eat
Calvin agrees O (Brew Tea)
3 Robert to win: The date, June 17th, 1972. The Place, Washington D.C.. You are there. What famous event is going on.
Guess: Kennedy took office
Bonita disagrees WIN! (Watergate Hotel was broken into)

Round 3 Prize: Admiral Fridge/Freezer, Gas Range and Dishwasher ($1,700+)

Calvin starts
1 Paul: If you have high blood pressure, there’s something that you’re probably going to have to learn to do without. What is it?
“Old Age”
Guess: Salt
Calvin agrees X
2 Phyllis Davis: According to Ask Beth (a column), if you think a guy has asked you out because you have large bust measurements, should you still go out with this fella?
Guess: “I would”
Bonita agrees (“Me Too” from Foster) O (It’s the only way to know)
3 Phyllis Diller: According to doctors, how long will the average facelift last before it starts to sag again?
“You’re looking at it” Phyllis had on and her own dog didn’t know her. That is, until he ate and threw up his dinner.
Guess: 5-10 years
Calvin agrees X
4 Marilyn and Billy to block: Back in the 60s, hitchhike, jerk and monkey were all what?
Marilyn says it’s before her time.
Guess: Dances
Bonita agrees O
5 Robert: One of the most famous quotes in history was when American soldiers said “Lafayette, We Are Here” Where were they?
“At the Kennedy Inauguration in 1972”
Guess: American Revolution
Calvin agrees O (Coming to the aid of France during WWI)
5 Garrett: What does it mean to talk turkey?
“Are you trying to be insulting?”
Guess:

Video cuts off here. If anyone knows about the rest of the episode, drop me a line.

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES (syndicated)-2/4/81

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: J.J. Tande (San Diego, CA, Navy wife heading to Japan, mother of four)

X: Jerrod Mink (Alma, GA, in air conditioning)

Round 1 Prize: Tappan Fridge, Dishwasher and Microwave/Range ($2,800)

J.J. first
1 Ross: Something very famous started when a guy named Paris stole a woman named Helen. What happened?
Guess: The Trojan War
J.J. Agrees O
2 Wayland and Madame: In the nursery rhyme, what did Little Jack Horner do that convinced him he was a good boy?
“When Mary told him she had a little lamb, he didn’t make a wisecrack”
Guess: He pulls out a plum
Jerrod Agrees X
3 Paul: According to a famous poet, what burns at both ends?
“Listerine”
Guess: The Candle
J.J. Agrees O
4 Vikki to block: Nothing in your home uses up more energy that this.
Guess: Washers and Dryers, but Peter means Water, Electricity, Gas
Re-Do: Electric
Jerrod Disagrees X (Hot Water Heater)
5 Tom: Did Jonah stay overnight in the belly of the whale?
“When the whale went to sleep, he snuck out the back way”
Guess: Yes
J.J. Agrees O
6 Fred to Block: According to the Boy Scout Handbook (Fred doesn’t remember his rank), what is a boy’s most valuable possession?
His bunk mate’s best possession was a “benoit”. “I Was sorry I gave him the darn thing”
Guess: The Boy Scout Manual
Jerrod Disagrees X (His Honor)
7 Margaret to Block: Where is Queen Elizabeth’s husband supposed to walk when he’s with her in public?
Guess: Ten Paces in Front
J.J. Disagrees O (Several steps behind her)
8 Phyllis to block: True or False? Some cultures think avocados make you feel sexy?
Guess: True
J.J. Agrees X
9 Jim Stafford for 5-Square Win: Does marijuana do anything funny to cows when they eat it?
He prefers drinking “If you smoke dope, you don’t get to throw up”
Guess: Yes
J.J. Agrees WIN! Peter adds, “They start wandering aimlessly around and start playing musical instruments”

Note: Had she missed, Jerrod would’ve gotten it by default. Just one thing I can say about that…

Round 2 Prize: Lane Backgammon Desk Table

For Today’s Big Winner:
* Trip to Islamorada, FL (1wk.@ Cheeca Lodge)
* D’Avila Men’s Wardrobe
* Pedre His/Her Gold Watches
* 7d Carnival Caribbean Cruise

Jerrod to Start
1 Paul: Why did the sailors throw Jonah off their boat.
“He looked Cuban”
Guess: Too many people on board
Jerrod Disagrees X (To stop the storm he was causing, God was angry)
2 Ross: His first film was “Love is on the Air” and his last was “The Killers”. Who is he?
Guess: James Cagney
J.J. Agrees X (Ronald Reagan, Cagney was shooting a film at taping)
3 Vicki to win: “You’re the Tops”, “All Through the Night”, and “I Get a Kick Out of You” are all songs from a popular musical show. Name the show
Guess: Anything Goes
Jerrod Agrees WIN! (Both Vicki and Peter have been in that show)

Round 3 Prize: Broyhill French Provincial Bedroom ($1,000+)

Each winner gets to come back for that tournament for the following:

  • Domes America Geodesic House
  • Midas Van RV
  • $20,000 in Cash
  • Buick Riviera

J.J. starts
1 Paul: True or False? Hugh Hefner has announced plans for a giant amusement park in Nevada to be called Bunny Land.
“One of the rides is Miss November”
Guess: True
J.J. agrees X
2 Wayland and Madame: “Who wore a blue shirt, blue pants, a red kerchief, a white hat and a black mask?”
“Sammy Davis Jr., but I don’t remember no mask.”
Guess: The Lone Ranger
Jerrod disagrees O
3 Tom: “The wise old philosopher Socrates once stated that you should call no man unhappy he has done something at least once. What?”
“Eaten Christmas dinner at the House of Pancakes”
No Answer (Until he’s gotten married)
T: “True or false? Studies showed that the size and power of a person’s car often reveals something about his sexual personality.”
Tom: “I Drive a Volkswagen”
Peter: “Well, it’s better than that minibus you had”
Tom: “Both are out of gas a lot”

Guess: True
J.J. agrees O
4 Vikki “The woman on trial for running a house of ill-repute in San Francisco has been sentenced to 90 days in a convent.”
Guess: True
Jarrod agrees X
5 Ross to block: “Cupid, the god of love, was the son of Venus, the Goddess of Beauty. Who was Cupid’s Daddy?”
“She’s been trying to find out for Centuries”
Guess: A Swan
J.J. disagrees O (Mars, the god of war: Ross “I Knew it wasn’t me”)
6 Margaret: “True or False, According to the book of Lists, Josephine often feel out of bed when making love to Napoleon.”
Guess: True
Jarrod agrees X
7 Phyllis to block: “Something Joan Crawford wore in the film “Mildred Pierce” made American housewives all over the country copied.
Shoulder Pads
J.J. Agrees O “Also the San Diego Chargers”
8 Jim to block: “According to a recent survey of prominent clergymen, is it okay for a gambler to pray for good luck?”
Guess: No
Jerrod Disagrees WRONG
9 Jim to win: “According to statistics, this is the most popular instrument among amateur musicians. What is it?”
Guess: Guitar
J.J. Agrees X (Piano)
10 Fred to decide: “In a popular song, they say that leather is tough, but this girl is tougher. And she like to see men suffer.”
“I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. What am i sayin”
Answer: Hard-Hearted Hannah
Jerrod agrees WIN!

Round 4 Prize: Spalding Executive Golf Clubs

1 Jerrod to start:
Tom: “In a movie, who is famous for saying “Gotta Dance, Gotta Dance””
“Peg Leg Bates”
Gene Kelly
Jerrod agrees X (From “Singin’ in the Rain”)
2 Paul: “According to Ann Landers, who should you complain to about an unsatisfactory piece of meat.”
“No one, it’s hereditary”
HONK!
Guess: The manager
J.J. agrees WRONG (The Waiter)

J.J.’s Total (with Parting Gifts): $3,700
Jerrod’s Total: $8,350

Closing: Fred Willard is appearing in the movie “First Family”. Also featured are Bob Newhart, Gilda Radner, Harvey Korman and Jim Benjamin.

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.