Patti Deutsch

WHAT’S MY LINE?-Taped July 30, 1968

Host: Wally Bruner

Announcer: Johnny Olsen

Celebrity Panel:

  • Gene Rayburn (Match Game)
  • Patti Deutsch (Laugh-in)
  • Alan Alda
  • Arlene Francis

FIRST GUEST: James Weeman (New York City)

He’s self-employed and deals in a product.

Gene: A product used in the home?

Yes

Is it used by both men and women?

Sometimes

Make the person more attractive physically?

Yes

Certain part of the body?

Yes

Above the Waist?

Yes

Above the Shoulders?

Yes

Above the Neck?

Yes

Have to do with the hair?

Yes

Does it have to do with a dye?

No $5 (Hot Streak Over)

Patti: Does it change the length of the hair?

Yes (Gene’s got it)

Something to do with the styling?

No $10

Shorten the hair?

Maybe

Adds hair, maybe false Hair?

Yes, Pass to Arlene

“It’s not hair itself?”

Yes

Finally gets to “Is it Hair Pieces”

Designs Wigs for Men and Women

Gene thought it was a guy who matching hair coloring to your exact hair and ties it in.  James doesn’t. He just designs wigs for the Rainbow Hair Products of New York at the Empire State Building.  No, he’s not wearing one now.  There’s also a novelty line for Teeny Boppers and Vietnam soldiers buying wigs to cover up battle scars.  James says it “gives them back their non-conformity”.  Next, he presents his stretch wig with has a special patented ventilation to keep a cool head.  Maybe we should see what Gene and Alan look like with some of these wigs.  Alan gets a blonde wig, looking like Moe from the Three Stooges.  He can’t understand why they say “Blondes Have More Fun”.  Gene has a brown mod wig, feels like the poor man’s “Ed Ames”. 

With the wigs still on, the men join the women to meet our next guest.

SECOND GUEST: Judith Gray (Mount Vernon, IL, Wally’s been there and Gene grew up nearby in Christopher)

She’s salaried.

Arlene: Do you work indoors?

Yes

Is it a service she might use?

You Could, but Wally makes it a No $5

Gene: Would I use it?

Yes

Would I get the same answer if I take off the wig?

Yes

Does it have to do with enhancing one’s attractiveness?

Yes

Do you come in physical contact?

Yes

Above the waist?

Yes

Above the shoulders?

Yes “Got a feeling you’ve heard this someplace before?”

Above the Neck?

Yes

Are you a Lady’s Barber?

Men’s Barber

Judith work for the Universal Barber Shop in New York City, and Gene wants an appointment.  For about 3 years, she’s had other famous customers including the male members of the Horton’s Ballet, advertising people including actor Anthony Perkins. Seems Alan might want an appointment, too.  Never mind, the wigs just came off.

MYSTERY GUEST

Arlene: Are you a comedian?

Stumbles a little, but says he may

Gene: Are you wearing something unusual now?

My clothes

Patti: Have you been on Broadway?

No (In a light British Accent and stutters “Really”)

Alan: Work in the mountains a lot?

Not at all

Arlene: Nightclub performer?

Yes (stutters Sometimes)

Gene: Are you on Broadway now?

He’s laying off on Broadway

Patti: Appearing on a nightclub in town?

Laying off on a current one, too.

Alan: Appeared on a TV series?

No, laying off that, too

Arlene is thinking he’s having a stroke?

It’s either Don Rickles or Jack E. Leonard

It’s JACK, wearing a straw hair wig and smoking a cigarette. (It’s 1968, remember)

Jack starts with saying his friend Don Rickles has been stealing his act for so long, he’ll sue.  He also says Arlene is as pretty as her first appearance in 1903, Paul Revere sends his regards.  Wally Bruner is called the illegitimate son of John Daly.  Jack remembers Wally’s father from the German Army many years ago.  As least it’s better than sitting next to a clip-on bow tie.  Jack then talks about a new diet.

Eat 12 bowls of Jell-O, lay in bed, and just hake the damn stuff off.

Wally asks Gene if he could work at Cape Canaveral, push the button before takeoff is ready.  Earlier this week, there was a bank robber and the hottest little exotic dancer you’ve ever see works with fire.  Alan wants to learn to fire dance with the wig on. Patti is asked about a mini wedding gown worn by a bride this week.  Arlene says it’s for “Short marriages”.

In the credits, Jack E. Leonard dips Gene Rayburn, I don’t know if that embarrassed Gene to bulk up near the end.

What’s my Line? is owned by Fremantle.