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Mariette Hartley

1986 Andrew Stevens Debbie Reynolds Gladys Knight Hollywood Squares John Davidson Larry "Bud" Melman Mariette Hartley Milton Berle New Edition Pudgy Rich Hall Shadoe Stevens

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-November 3, 1986

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Host: Larry “Bud” Melman
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens

Debbie ReynoldsJohn DavidsonMariette Hartley
Rich Hall
“Snigglets”		Gladys KnightAndrew Stevens
New EditionPudgyMilton Berle

That’s right, Melman has taken over the host bench. Two new players have taken the contestant’s podium.

X Bruce Berman
O Ruth Swizlo

The game’s still the same. And there are five cars, Toyotas, any one our contestants can win.

And Let Me Tell You, There’s Nothing like a Spiffy New Sled to Impress the Babes. LAUGH

Cue Card

Okay, time to get serious. John and Bud go back to their regular positions.

ROUND 1-Starting with Ruth

1 Mariette: What recently made news when it celebrated its 350th birthday?
“The line “Of course, I’ll respect you in the morning.”
Guess: Saint Augustine, Florida
Ruth disagrees O (Harvard University)
2 Gladys (without the Pips): A few bars from “Heard it Through the Grapevine” and then the question.
True or False: The expression “Heard it Through the Grapevine” goes back to Civil War days.
Guess: True (Gossip has been happening for years)
Bruce agrees X (Used when telegraph wines broke onto grapevines)
3 Debbie: Among gems, nothing is harder than a diamond, but what comes after the diamond?
“Whether it be a emerald, and a ruby and me, darling” (Zsa Zsa Gabor impression)
Guess: Ruby
Ruth agrees X (Sapphire)
But come on, they’re both stronger together

4 Uncle Milty for the Win: It’s music trivia with New Edition! Here’s a song from their new album “Duke of Earl” and Milton will finish the lyric.

Duke, Duke, Duke
Duke of Earl, Duke, Duke

“Change my Earl”?
Guess: Milty can’t put the whole phrase together, but something about “I’ve wandered around the world”
Bruce disagrees WIN! (Just “Duke of Earl”, again and again and again….)

SECRET SQUARE: Trip to Hollywood…FL (Eastern; @ Diplomat)

Ruth again
1 Mariette: According to USA Today “they take more “pie chart””
Correction: They are less likely to wear seat belts and they tend to lose control of their cars more often. Who are they?
“Compulsive Overeaters”
Guess: Drinkers
Ruth agrees X (Smokers)
2 Gladys “Ms. Songbird”: According to Webster’s, if a singer is using an artificially produced high voice, he or she singing in what?
“Very tight pants”
Guess: Falsetto
Bruce agrees X
3 New Edition to block: As big basketball fans, you should know this. When an official grabs his wrist and holds both arms over his head, he’s calling a holding penalty. What does it mean when he places his hands on his waist?
“He lost his belt”
Guess: Blocking Penalty
Ruth agrees O
4 Uncle Milty: Who was Washington Irving?
“George Washington’s Tailor on 46th Street”
Guess: The author of Rip Van Winkle
Bruce agrees X
And Ruth has two spots to watch for.
5 Debbie to block: True or false? Sigmund Freud once observed that we have two basic instincts, sex and anger.
Why does Zsa Zsa get all the sex questions?
Guess: True
Ruth disagrees WRONG!
6 Debbie to win: According to the academy of general dentistry, is it a good idea to pick your teeth?
“Well, you have to be sure they fit good first”
Guess: No
Bruce agrees O
7 Rich to win: According to UCLA’s Health Insights, what is the main thing a sex therapist should NEVER EVER do?
“Bring a Camera”
Guess: Give up on you
Ruth disagrees TIE GAME! (Becomes involved with a patient physically)
Secret Square: Pudgy

Word of advice, Bruce: Should’ve gone with Andrew on that last one.

ROUND 3: Tie-Breaker

Bruce is up
1 Uncle Milty: According to Dear Abby, is it okay to ask someone “Have you had a facelift?”
Milton was at a loss for words at one point.
Guess: No
Bruce disagrees O
(Uncle Milty will be at the Long Beach Terrace Theater on the 15th w/Henny Youngman “A Night of a 1001 Laughs”

Mariette: Have you ever had a facelift?
Milton: Oh, Shut Up!

2 Mariette: Olivia de Haviland, who just turned 70 years old, says she regrets that she never had a lasting one because it takes great wisdom to make one work. What?
“A Power Mower” or “My Hair Dryer”
Guess: A Relationship with a man
Ruth agrees
Well, the answer is marriage, so it’s not close enough? X

3 Gladys: French hunters were the first to do it. It involved a whole hog, ox or other large animal, and was usually performed in an open field. Today, it’s known as what?
“You are so fresh, John”
Guess: Barbecuing
Bruce agrees X (From the French word for Whiskers and Tail)
4 New Edition to block: According to Ebony Magazine, what group was originally known as the Primettes?
Guess: “Gladys and the Knights” or Pips
Ruth agrees WRONG! (The Supremes)
5 New Edition to win HONK! or for another tie.
Two young Miami (Florida) women recently paid Don Johnson $5,000 a piece, then each got to kiss him and do something else with him. What?
Guess: Pose in Play Girl
Bruce disagrees CHAMPION! (To be in his new music video)

Now, let’s check out those sleds, er, Toyotas.

  • MR2
  • Supra
  • Camry Wagon
  • Corolla FX-16
  • SR5 Truck

Bruce wants the Black Supra ($22,590) and Gladys Kinght for good luck.

1…2…3…

Nope. But he’s happy to get another chance tomorrow.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

1986 Betty White Bronson Pinchot Emma Samms Hollywood Squares Itzhak Perlman Jackie Collins John Byner John Davidson Lorenzo Lamas Mariette Hartley Shadoe Stevens

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-September 19, 1986 (End of 1st Week)

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Host: John Davidson

Friday means the stars are all wearing those red track suits. (Available to buy soon)

O: DD Alton (New Orleans, LA, policy analyst, collects earrings)
X: Kenny Chernov (One-Day Champion)

ROUND 1

DD, the challenger, goes first
1 Bronson: What are gibs, mibs, emmys and hoodles?
Guess: African Tribes
DD disagrees O (Marbles)
2 John (owns an island in Fiji): What happens to up to 70 percent of men who have their vasectomies surgically reversed?
“They Feel Short Changed”
Guess: Become Fathers
After some clarity, Kenny agrees O (They Remain infertile)
3 Jackie to win: Your pantyhose may not last as long in Los Angeles as they do in other cities. Why?
Jackie doesn’t wear pantyhose but asks if John does. As the host, he doesn’t have to answer.
Guess: The hot humid weather
DD disagrees WIN! (The Smog)

SECRET SQUARE GAME: Trip to Puerto Vallarta (Western; Plaza Vallarta)

Kenny first
1 Betty: SECRET SQUARE!
For the $1,330 trip: What war inspired Francis Scott Key to write the Star-Spangled Banner? The American Revolution, The War of 1812 or the Civil War?
Guess: The American Revolution
Kenny agrees O (B)
2 Bronson: Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep, but does she ever find them?
First, a poem:

Little Bovine has lost her mind
And does not know where to recoup it
If she does not find it, the sheep will not mind it
Her conduct from birth has been stupid

Guess: Yes, wagging their tails behind them
DD agrees O
3 Lorenzo to block: A Visual Clue:
Lady Black Belt breaks through a wall. It’s was a running sidekick. Which discipline of the martial arts did she use? Was is Judo, Karate or Kung Fu?
Guess: Karate
Kenny still disagrees WRONG! (That’s what you get for doubting an honest black belt)
Note: Kenny’s 0-3 and DeeDee’s 3-0
4 Lorenzo to win: Finish this song

You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is still a sigh

“I think there’s something in my eye”
Guess: Fundamental things apply, as time goes by
DD disagrees X
5 Mariette (was in Little Night Music in Ohio): What’s the highest award the government can give a civilian?
“Tax Refund”
Guess: Citizenship medal
Kenny disagrees X (Medal of Freedom) And now, both streaks have been broken.
6 Itzhak to block: Within a pride of lions, the female in addition to bearing the cubs does 95 percent of the…
“Shopping”
Guess: Finding the food
DD agrees O (Counts as hunting)
7 Emma: What is Ronald Reagan’s middle name?
“Rambo”
Guess: Wilson
Kenny disagrees O
8 Shadoe to win: What are hairline joints, butt joins and lap joints?
“Types of singles bars”
Guess: Sewing terms
DD disagrees WIN! (Ways to hang wallpaper)

Round 3

Kenny up again
1 John: According to Life Magazine, a poll of cosmetic surgeons found that the features their clients want the most are Farrah’s forehead, Brooke’s lips and Dolly’s
Guess: Chest, he said it some way or another
Kenny agrees O (Her nose, “Isn’t that cute”)
2 Mariette: What is Mount Fuji?
“Place where Japanese send their film to be developed”
Guess: The Highest Mountain in the World Japan
DD agrees O
3 Betty to block: Married women were recently asked by poll takers: “If given the chance, would you marry the same man?” What do the majority say?
“Come on in, handsome poll taker”
Guess: They wouldn’t trade in for a new model
Kenny agrees X
4 Bronson (started to choose before the horn went off): There’s one thing you must do in order to get a job in Iceland. What is it?
“Dye your hair blond”
Guess: Enlist in the military
DD disagrees O (Graduate from high school)

Kenny adds $100 for a 2-Day Total of $1,400
DD has $1,300

Our new champ takes a key, but which Caddy will she try for:

  • ElDorado
  • Seville
  • Coupe DeVille
  • Cimarron
  • Sedan Deville

She can choose Bronson, just as a good luck celebrity. Car-wise she picks the Seville.

1…2…3…

Not today. DD will come back on Monday to try again. That means a new group of stars in the board:

  • Lynn Redgrave
  • Jan-Michael Vincent (Airwolf)
  • Louie Anderson
  • Heidi Bohay (Hotel)
  • Milton Berle
  • Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
  • Little Richard
  • Mike Connors
  • Charlotte Rae (The Facts of Life)

But without Bronson, will she ever return?

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

1986 Ahmad Rashad Betty White Bronson Pinchot Emma Samms Hollywood Squares Itzhak Perlman Jackie Collins John Byner John Davidson Lorenzo Lamas Mariette Hartley Phylicia Rashad Shadoe Stevens

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES Premiere-September 15, 1986

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Host: John Davidson
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens

O: Ciarra Kind (Beverly Hills, CA, actress nicknamed “7up” for being bubbly)
X: Bob Blanchard (flight attendant internationally)

Rules are the same: Tic-Tac-Toe by agreeing or disagreeing with our stars. Each game worth $500 and the player with the most cash plays for a new Cadillac.

ROUND 1

Ciarra first
1 “The wonderful Bronson Pinchot“: According to Greek legend, why did women used to rub crushed strawberries all over their bodies?
“Because it got them strawberries at a discount.”
Guess: To soften their skin
Ciarra agrees X (Believe it would make them taller)
2 Mariette: True or false? In ancient Greek mythology, there was a god of images named Polaroidis.
“Not Kodak Kola”
Guess: False
Bob agrees X
3: “The lovely Betty White” to block: Which of these has been around longer, birth control pills or the Big Mac?
Guess: Big Mac “He’s why they invented birth control”
Ciarra agrees WRONG! (Pill in 1960, Big Mac in ’68)
4 Betty to win: Complete the lyric:

Nobody does it better
Makes me feel bad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you…

“And now I need a rest”
Guess: “Baby, you’re the best”
Bob agrees WIN!

SECRET SQUARE GAME: Trip to the Virgin Islands (Eastern; 1wk.@ Bluebeard’s Castle in St. Thomas)

The return of a Hollywood Squares tradition. All the player has to do is pick the square and get the question right.

Cierra starts
1 Bronson: If you called the White House and asked to speak to President Reagan, what will the White House operator typically say:

  1. A: “He’s not available at the moment”
  2. B: “The President cannot take individual phone calls”
  3. C: “The President is in a meeting and will get back to you.”

Bronson: “He’s clearing brush in Santa Barbara”
Guess: C
Cierra disagrees, John doesn’t have the answer
LET’S FIND OUT: Bronson has a phone, Balki Bartokomous makes the call. All he gets is a busy signal. He gets through to the receptionist in D.C. She says “Not available at the moment.” O
2 John and his Ducks: According to the Glen Oak feed-in pet store the simplest way to tell the sex of a duck is to simply look at its what?
Guess: The feet, females have smaller feet (does his best Donald impression)
Bob disagrees X (The Tail feathers, males are curled, females are flat)
3 Lorenzo: According to a noted psychologist, what is the most overused “come-on” line for a man to use on a woman in the supermarket.
“Why don’t you take off your clothes” or “Nice melons”
Guess: Do you come here often?
Cierra disagrees O (Do you really eat that junk?)
4 Itzhak to block: True or false? According to Psychology Today, to most people music is even more thrilling than sex.
“And it pays better”
Guess: True
Bob agrees X
5 “The lovely Jackie Collins”: Who gained fame as the Little Tramp?
“Alexis Carrington”
Guess: Charlie Chaplin
Cierra agrees O
6 Emma to block: According to U.S. News and World Report, more millionaires live there than anywhere else. Where is that?
“The Colby Mansion”
Guess: California
Bob disagrees WRONG! (Florida has the highest concentration per household)
7 Emma to win: Your male boss keeps making passes at you and you’re not Betty White so you can’t enjoy it. You’re not interested, but you don’t want to jeopardize your job. According to Family Circle, what should you do?
“Run him down in the parking lot”
Guess: Politely say “Get off my back”
Cierra agrees WIN! (Tell them “You’re flattered”)
Secret Square: Mariette

ROUND 3

Bob starts
1 Bronson: You’re going on a cruise and your doctor prescribes a small thin adhesive patch to be placed behind your ear. Why would he do that?
“Because you have a slow leak”
Guess: Prevent seasickness
Bob agrees X “You bet your seasickness”
2 “The beautiful Mariette Hartley”: How did Dr. Joyce Brothers answer this question: “Why does my 18-month-old son cry every time my husband embraces me?”
“Because you’re supposed to put the kid down first.”
Guess: He thinks the mother’s gonna leave him
Cierra disagrees O (And she guessed right that it was jealousy)
3 John (without the ducks): According to the Wall Street Journal, why are some meter readers in Philadelphia now wearing bulletproof pants?
“Because the city’s full of trigger-happy midgets”
Guess: Keep them warmer in the winter
Bob disagrees X (Prevents dog bites)
4 Phylicia and Ahmad: Surveys show that most couples planning on having children (She’s due in December) would prefer to begin with a what?
Ahmad “Glass of white wine”
Guess: Girl for Phylicia (overruling Ahmad)
Cierra disagrees O
5 Itzhak to block: It’s a really wonderful thing to have one of these, Dr Hang S. Noir has one. Rockstar Prince has one. F. Murray Abraham has one and you don’t have one. What
“A silly name” (The horn goes off)
Guess: Oscar
Bob disagrees WRONG!

VERY INTERESTING, each player would get $100 for each symbol. Since Cierra didn’t get the circle, the game would be tied at $700. So, Cierra plays on
6 Itzhak to decide the match: Who supposedly said “Let them eat cake”?
Guess: Napoleon
Cierra agrees X (Marie Antoinette) BOB WINS WITH $800!

Now Bob reaches into the key bowl. It’s not for wife swapping, those keys will start these Cadillacs.

  • ElDorado
  • Seville
  • Coupe DeVille
  • Cimarron
  • Sedan DeVille

Bob chooses the ElDorado ($30,000) and Jackie Collins as his lucky star.

1…2…3…

nope. So Bob will come back and play again. If he wins, he’ll get to try that key in another Caddy.

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

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