Madame

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES (syndicated)-2/4/81

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: J.J. Tande (San Diego, CA, Navy wife heading to Japan, mother of four)

X: Jerrod Mink (Alma, GA, in air conditioning)

Round 1 Prize: Tappan Fridge, Dishwasher and Microwave/Range ($2,800)

J.J. first
1 Ross: Something very famous started when a guy named Paris stole a woman named Helen. What happened?
Guess: The Trojan War
J.J. Agrees O
2 Wayland and Madame: In the nursery rhyme, what did Little Jack Horner do that convinced him he was a good boy?
“When Mary told him she had a little lamb, he didn’t make a wisecrack”
Guess: He pulls out a plum
Jerrod Agrees X
3 Paul: According to a famous poet, what burns at both ends?
“Listerine”
Guess: The Candle
J.J. Agrees O
4 Vikki to block: Nothing in your home uses up more energy that this.
Guess: Washers and Dryers, but Peter means Water, Electricity, Gas
Re-Do: Electric
Jerrod Disagrees X (Hot Water Heater)
5 Tom: Did Jonah stay overnight in the belly of the whale?
“When the whale went to sleep, he snuck out the back way”
Guess: Yes
J.J. Agrees O
6 Fred to Block: According to the Boy Scout Handbook (Fred doesn’t remember his rank), what is a boy’s most valuable possession?
His bunk mate’s best possession was a “benoit”. “I Was sorry I gave him the darn thing”
Guess: The Boy Scout Manual
Jerrod Disagrees X (His Honor)
7 Margaret to Block: Where is Queen Elizabeth’s husband supposed to walk when he’s with her in public?
Guess: Ten Paces in Front
J.J. Disagrees O (Several steps behind her)
8 Phyllis to block: True or False? Some cultures think avocados make you feel sexy?
Guess: True
J.J. Agrees X
9 Jim Stafford for 5-Square Win: Does marijuana do anything funny to cows when they eat it?
He prefers drinking “If you smoke dope, you don’t get to throw up”
Guess: Yes
J.J. Agrees WIN! Peter adds, “They start wandering aimlessly around and start playing musical instruments”

Note: Had she missed, Jerrod would’ve gotten it by default. Just one thing I can say about that…

Round 2 Prize: Lane Backgammon Desk Table

For Today’s Big Winner:
* Trip to Islamorada, FL (1wk.@ Cheeca Lodge)
* D’Avila Men’s Wardrobe
* Pedre His/Her Gold Watches
* 7d Carnival Caribbean Cruise

Jerrod to Start
1 Paul: Why did the sailors throw Jonah off their boat.
“He looked Cuban”
Guess: Too many people on board
Jerrod Disagrees X (To stop the storm he was causing, God was angry)
2 Ross: His first film was “Love is on the Air” and his last was “The Killers”. Who is he?
Guess: James Cagney
J.J. Agrees X (Ronald Reagan, Cagney was shooting a film at taping)
3 Vicki to win: “You’re the Tops”, “All Through the Night”, and “I Get a Kick Out of You” are all songs from a popular musical show. Name the show
Guess: Anything Goes
Jerrod Agrees WIN! (Both Vicki and Peter have been in that show)

Round 3 Prize: Broyhill French Provincial Bedroom ($1,000+)

Each winner gets to come back for that tournament for the following:

  • Domes America Geodesic House
  • Midas Van RV
  • $20,000 in Cash
  • Buick Riviera

J.J. starts
1 Paul: True or False? Hugh Hefner has announced plans for a giant amusement park in Nevada to be called Bunny Land.
“One of the rides is Miss November”
Guess: True
J.J. agrees X
2 Wayland and Madame: “Who wore a blue shirt, blue pants, a red kerchief, a white hat and a black mask?”
“Sammy Davis Jr., but I don’t remember no mask.”
Guess: The Lone Ranger
Jerrod disagrees O
3 Tom: “The wise old philosopher Socrates once stated that you should call no man unhappy he has done something at least once. What?”
“Eaten Christmas dinner at the House of Pancakes”
No Answer (Until he’s gotten married)
T: “True or false? Studies showed that the size and power of a person’s car often reveals something about his sexual personality.”
Tom: “I Drive a Volkswagen”
Peter: “Well, it’s better than that minibus you had”
Tom: “Both are out of gas a lot”

Guess: True
J.J. agrees O
4 Vikki “The woman on trial for running a house of ill-repute in San Francisco has been sentenced to 90 days in a convent.”
Guess: True
Jarrod agrees X
5 Ross to block: “Cupid, the god of love, was the son of Venus, the Goddess of Beauty. Who was Cupid’s Daddy?”
“She’s been trying to find out for Centuries”
Guess: A Swan
J.J. disagrees O (Mars, the god of war: Ross “I Knew it wasn’t me”)
6 Margaret: “True or False, According to the book of Lists, Josephine often feel out of bed when making love to Napoleon.”
Guess: True
Jarrod agrees X
7 Phyllis to block: “Something Joan Crawford wore in the film “Mildred Pierce” made American housewives all over the country copied.
Shoulder Pads
J.J. Agrees O “Also the San Diego Chargers”
8 Jim to block: “According to a recent survey of prominent clergymen, is it okay for a gambler to pray for good luck?”
Guess: No
Jerrod Disagrees WRONG
9 Jim to win: “According to statistics, this is the most popular instrument among amateur musicians. What is it?”
Guess: Guitar
J.J. Agrees X (Piano)
10 Fred to decide: “In a popular song, they say that leather is tough, but this girl is tougher. And she like to see men suffer.”
“I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. What am i sayin”
Answer: Hard-Hearted Hannah
Jerrod agrees WIN!

Round 4 Prize: Spalding Executive Golf Clubs

1 Jerrod to start:
Tom: “In a movie, who is famous for saying “Gotta Dance, Gotta Dance””
“Peg Leg Bates”
Gene Kelly
Jerrod agrees X (From “Singin’ in the Rain”)
2 Paul: “According to Ann Landers, who should you complain to about an unsatisfactory piece of meat.”
“No one, it’s hereditary”
HONK!
Guess: The manager
J.J. agrees WRONG (The Waiter)

J.J.’s Total (with Parting Gifts): $3,700
Jerrod’s Total: $8,350

Closing: Fred Willard is appearing in the movie “First Family”. Also featured are Bob Newhart, Gilda Radner, Harvey Korman and Jim Benjamin.

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-October 19, 1980

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: Pam Molosca (Fairview Heights, OH, Flight Attendant)
X: Ken Bosket (Detroit, MI, Attending Vegas Community College and Father of Three)

In this version, our players aren’t playing for cash. Each game is worth a prize. No Secret Square games The player who wins the most games wins the grand prize of the day AND moves on to a $100,000 tournament. More about that later.

ROUND 1 Prize: Broyhill French Provincial Bedroom Ensemble

Ken’s first
1 George: True or false? Sophia Loren is a wanted person in Italy.
“Just what she needs another bust! Like a turtle needs a brassiere”
Guess: True
Ken Agrees X
2 Lee: According to the song, Hear the wind Blow dear, Hear the Wind Blow” where?
Guess: Down in the Valley
Pam disagrees X
3 Paul: In the bible, does the Lord ever say that he hates anybody?
Guess: Yes
Ken Agrees X (Two chances to win)
4 Linda, HUH? (Should’ve stuck with Bill to Block)
Who said you’re never fully dressed without a smile?
Guess: Will Rogers
Pam Disagrees O
5 Jim for the Win: True or false? Does a religious group in the South Pacific that, believe it or not, praise everyday to Donald Duck.
Well, Jim says he’s a Frisbee-terian, who worships Frisbees and believe that when you die, your soul is stuck on the roof.
Guess: True
Ken Disagrees WIN! (Scoreboard simply displays an X or O on their scoreboard when they win a round)

Round 2 Prize: Whirlpool Fridge, Dishwasher and Electric Range ($1,899)

For Today’s Big Winner: $4,400 Total
* 7-Day Carnival Caribbean Cruise
* Funky! Dresses
* Trip to Miami (1wk. @ Newport)
* Kenya 14k Gold Earrings, Ring and Tie Tack
* Konica FS1 Single Reflex Camera

Pam to Start
1 Paul: We get it by a Himalayan goat and lots of people want to have it. What is it?
“Twinkie Filling”
Guess: Roquefort Dressing
Pam Disagrees O (Cashmere)
2 George: True or false? There are now up to 50 parts of the body that can be replaced.
“Don’t try to install them yourselves.”
Guess: True
Ken Agrees X
3 Jim: According to the book Lifespans, how long should a good guitar last within 10 years?
Jim played guitar instead of football, and he can kick a guitar 60 yards
Guess: As long as you do, about 100 years
Pam Disagrees O (200 Years)
4 Lee to Block: According to Weight Watchers, a person’s middle years are from 35 to what?
Guess: At least 50
Ken Agrees X
5 Linda: According to Weight Watchers, is it a good or bad idea to exercise in the nude?
Guess: Good Idea
Pam Agrees O
6 Ann to Block: What heavenly body does man know more about that any other?
“Marilyn Monroe”
Guess: The Sun
Ken Disagrees X (The Earth)
7 David to block: True or false? Fish Burp
“I’m thinking who the idiot was who found out about this? What an occupation”
Guess: False, but they barf
Pam Agrees WRONG (One in South America can burp loud enough to be heard a mile away)
8 David to Win: True or false There are exercises for you to do while you are on your death bed.
Three, Swing a burping fish above you head, never close your eyes and move your lips to say “You’re all out of the will”
Guess: True
Ken Agrees WIN!

Round 3 Prize: Soundesign Disco Stereo

Ken Starts
1 George: Jogging has been found effective for many things.  Has it been found effective in treating a hangover?
George says he’s had hangovers you could frame.
Guess: No
Ken Agrees X
2 Lee: True or False: According to research at Yale, even just looking at food can make fat people fatter.
“Looking at a donut makes it go from hand to thighs”
Guess: True
Pam Disagrees X
3 Wayland and Madame (“I’m gonna start looking at the hole in the donut”)
True or false? A man in France recently ate an entire bicycle.
“Now that’s what I call ruffage!”
Guess: False
Ken Agrees O
4 Bill: In 1947, they took away several big chunks of India and called them what?
New Delhis, all over New York
No Answer. Ken is offered to guess himself, but he declines for a new question. (Pakistan)
B: You are two stories tall, weigh 20 tons, a six inch tooth, look like a huge ugly kangaroo with a great lashing tail, and loves meat for dinner.  What do we call you?
“Sounds like my mother-in-law”
Guess: Dinosaur
Pam Disagrees X (Two shots)
5 Paul to block: After doing this seven times, the Pope said enough for a while, what was the Pope doing?
“Personally hearing a confession from Ann Margaret”
On tour doing communions
Ken disagrees O (Judges rule Paul was close enough to touring)
6 David who hold the win for both: According to Gallup, this is the one food teenagers hate more than any other food.
Guess: Broccoli
Pam Disagrees WIN! (Spinach)

Round 4 Prize: Apple II Computer ($1,195)

Pam’s turn
Paul: Something really, really awful happened began July 1, 1863 and continued off and on for three days.
It’s Not the David Letterman Show. (Heh-Heh-Heh, payback for how HS was canceled on NBC)
Can’t think of anything before the buzzer sounds “Thank God” (It Was The Battle of Gettysburg)

We still have a computer to give away so we’ll go to another question. If Pam gets it, she ties the match. If not, Ken is the champ.
Who wrote the classic WWII novel, the Naked and the Dead James Jones, Leon Uris or Norman Mailer?
Guess: Jones
Pam Agrees WRONG (Mailer)

Pam’s Total (with Parting Gifts): $1,650
Jim’s Total: Around $8,600

Jim will eventually return to play in the big tournament. Grand prize package totaling $100,000! Includes:

  • $20,000 Cash
  • Domes America Geodisic House
  • Coachmen 17.5 ft. Crestline Travel Trailer

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.