John Byner

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-September 19, 1986 (End of 1st Week)

Host: John Davidson

Friday means the stars are all wearing those red track suits. (Available to buy soon)

O: DD Alton (New Orleans, LA, policy analyst, collects earrings)
X: Kenny Chernov (One-Day Champion)

ROUND 1

DD, the challenger, goes first
1 Bronson: What are gibs, mibs, emmys and hoodles?
Guess: African Tribes
DD disagrees O (Marbles)
2 John (owns an island in Fiji): What happens to up to 70 percent of men who have their vasectomies surgically reversed?
“They Feel Short Changed”
Guess: Become Fathers
After some clarity, Kenny agrees O (They Remain infertile)
3 Jackie to win: Your pantyhose may not last as long in Los Angeles as they do in other cities. Why?
Jackie doesn’t wear pantyhose but asks if John does. As the host, he doesn’t have to answer.
Guess: The hot humid weather
DD disagrees WIN! (The Smog)

SECRET SQUARE GAME: Trip to Puerto Vallarta (Western; Plaza Vallarta)

Kenny first
1 Betty: SECRET SQUARE!
For the $1,330 trip: What war inspired Francis Scott Key to write the Star-Spangled Banner? The American Revolution, The War of 1812 or the Civil War?
Guess: The American Revolution
Kenny agrees O (B)
2 Bronson: Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep, but does she ever find them?
First, a poem:

Little Bovine has lost her mind
And does not know where to recoup it
If she does not find it, the sheep will not mind it
Her conduct from birth has been stupid

Guess: Yes, wagging their tails behind them
DD agrees O
3 Lorenzo to block: A Visual Clue:
Lady Black Belt breaks through a wall. It’s was a running sidekick. Which discipline of the martial arts did she use? Was is Judo, Karate or Kung Fu?
Guess: Karate
Kenny still disagrees WRONG! (That’s what you get for doubting an honest black belt)
Note: Kenny’s 0-3 and DeeDee’s 3-0
4 Lorenzo to win: Finish this song

You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is still a sigh

“I think there’s something in my eye”
Guess: Fundamental things apply, as time goes by
DD disagrees X
5 Mariette (was in Little Night Music in Ohio): What’s the highest award the government can give a civilian?
“Tax Refund”
Guess: Citizenship medal
Kenny disagrees X (Medal of Freedom) And now, both streaks have been broken.
6 Itzhak to block: Within a pride of lions, the female in addition to bearing the cubs does 95 percent of the…
“Shopping”
Guess: Finding the food
DD agrees O (Counts as hunting)
7 Emma: What is Ronald Reagan’s middle name?
“Rambo”
Guess: Wilson
Kenny disagrees O
8 Shadoe to win: What are hairline joints, butt joins and lap joints?
“Types of singles bars”
Guess: Sewing terms
DD disagrees WIN! (Ways to hang wallpaper)

Round 3

Kenny up again
1 John: According to Life Magazine, a poll of cosmetic surgeons found that the features their clients want the most are Farrah’s forehead, Brooke’s lips and Dolly’s
Guess: Chest, he said it some way or another
Kenny agrees O (Her nose, “Isn’t that cute”)
2 Mariette: What is Mount Fuji?
“Place where Japanese send their film to be developed”
Guess: The Highest Mountain in the World Japan
DD agrees O
3 Betty to block: Married women were recently asked by poll takers: “If given the chance, would you marry the same man?” What do the majority say?
“Come on in, handsome poll taker”
Guess: They wouldn’t trade in for a new model
Kenny agrees X
4 Bronson (started to choose before the horn went off): There’s one thing you must do in order to get a job in Iceland. What is it?
“Dye your hair blond”
Guess: Enlist in the military
DD disagrees O (Graduate from high school)

Kenny adds $100 for a 2-Day Total of $1,400
DD has $1,300

Our new champ takes a key, but which Caddy will she try for:

  • ElDorado
  • Seville
  • Coupe DeVille
  • Cimarron
  • Sedan Deville

She can choose Bronson, just as a good luck celebrity. Car-wise she picks the Seville.

1…2…3…

Not today. DD will come back on Monday to try again. That means a new group of stars in the board:

  • Lynn Redgrave
  • Jan-Michael Vincent (Airwolf)
  • Louie Anderson
  • Heidi Bohay (Hotel)
  • Milton Berle
  • Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
  • Little Richard
  • Mike Connors
  • Charlotte Rae (The Facts of Life)

But without Bronson, will she ever return?

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES Premiere-September 15, 1986

Host: John Davidson
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens

O: Ciarra Kind (Beverly Hills, CA, actress nicknamed “7up” for being bubbly)
X: Bob Blanchard (flight attendant internationally)

Rules are the same: Tic-Tac-Toe by agreeing or disagreeing with our stars. Each game worth $500 and the player with the most cash plays for a new Cadillac.

ROUND 1

Ciarra first
1 “The wonderful Bronson Pinchot“: According to Greek legend, why did women used to rub crushed strawberries all over their bodies?
“Because it got them strawberries at a discount.”
Guess: To soften their skin
Ciarra agrees X (Believe it would make them taller)
2 Mariette: True or false? In ancient Greek mythology, there was a god of images named Polaroidis.
“Not Kodak Kola”
Guess: False
Bob agrees X
3: “The lovely Betty White” to block: Which of these has been around longer, birth control pills or the Big Mac?
Guess: Big Mac “He’s why they invented birth control”
Ciarra agrees WRONG! (Pill in 1960, Big Mac in ’68)
4 Betty to win: Complete the lyric:

Nobody does it better
Makes me feel bad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you…

“And now I need a rest”
Guess: “Baby, you’re the best”
Bob agrees WIN!

SECRET SQUARE GAME: Trip to the Virgin Islands (Eastern; 1wk.@ Bluebeard’s Castle in St. Thomas)

The return of a Hollywood Squares tradition. All the player has to do is pick the square and get the question right.

Cierra starts
1 Bronson: If you called the White House and asked to speak to President Reagan, what will the White House operator typically say:

  1. A: “He’s not available at the moment”
  2. B: “The President cannot take individual phone calls”
  3. C: “The President is in a meeting and will get back to you.”

Bronson: “He’s clearing brush in Santa Barbara”
Guess: C
Cierra disagrees, John doesn’t have the answer
LET’S FIND OUT: Bronson has a phone, Balki Bartokomous makes the call. All he gets is a busy signal. He gets through to the receptionist in D.C. She says “Not available at the moment.” O
2 John and his Ducks: According to the Glen Oak feed-in pet store the simplest way to tell the sex of a duck is to simply look at its what?
Guess: The feet, females have smaller feet (does his best Donald impression)
Bob disagrees X (The Tail feathers, males are curled, females are flat)
3 Lorenzo: According to a noted psychologist, what is the most overused “come-on” line for a man to use on a woman in the supermarket.
“Why don’t you take off your clothes” or “Nice melons”
Guess: Do you come here often?
Cierra disagrees O (Do you really eat that junk?)
4 Itzhak to block: True or false? According to Psychology Today, to most people music is even more thrilling than sex.
“And it pays better”
Guess: True
Bob agrees X
5 “The lovely Jackie Collins”: Who gained fame as the Little Tramp?
“Alexis Carrington”
Guess: Charlie Chaplin
Cierra agrees O
6 Emma to block: According to U.S. News and World Report, more millionaires live there than anywhere else. Where is that?
“The Colby Mansion”
Guess: California
Bob disagrees WRONG! (Florida has the highest concentration per household)
7 Emma to win: Your male boss keeps making passes at you and you’re not Betty White so you can’t enjoy it. You’re not interested, but you don’t want to jeopardize your job. According to Family Circle, what should you do?
“Run him down in the parking lot”
Guess: Politely say “Get off my back”
Cierra agrees WIN! (Tell them “You’re flattered”)
Secret Square: Mariette

ROUND 3

Bob starts
1 Bronson: You’re going on a cruise and your doctor prescribes a small thin adhesive patch to be placed behind your ear. Why would he do that?
“Because you have a slow leak”
Guess: Prevent seasickness
Bob agrees X “You bet your seasickness”
2 “The beautiful Mariette Hartley”: How did Dr. Joyce Brothers answer this question: “Why does my 18-month-old son cry every time my husband embraces me?”
“Because you’re supposed to put the kid down first.”
Guess: He thinks the mother’s gonna leave him
Cierra disagrees O (And she guessed right that it was jealousy)
3 John (without the ducks): According to the Wall Street Journal, why are some meter readers in Philadelphia now wearing bulletproof pants?
“Because the city’s full of trigger-happy midgets”
Guess: Keep them warmer in the winter
Bob disagrees X (Prevents dog bites)
4 Phylicia and Ahmad: Surveys show that most couples planning on having children (She’s due in December) would prefer to begin with a what?
Ahmad “Glass of white wine”
Guess: Girl for Phylicia (overruling Ahmad)
Cierra disagrees O
5 Itzhak to block: It’s a really wonderful thing to have one of these, Dr Hang S. Noir has one. Rockstar Prince has one. F. Murray Abraham has one and you don’t have one. What
“A silly name” (The horn goes off)
Guess: Oscar
Bob disagrees WRONG!

VERY INTERESTING, each player would get $100 for each symbol. Since Cierra didn’t get the circle, the game would be tied at $700. So, Cierra plays on
6 Itzhak to decide the match: Who supposedly said “Let them eat cake”?
Guess: Napoleon
Cierra agrees X (Marie Antoinette) BOB WINS WITH $800!

Now Bob reaches into the key bowl. It’s not for wife swapping, those keys will start these Cadillacs.

  • ElDorado
  • Seville
  • Coupe DeVille
  • Cimarron
  • Sedan DeVille

Bob chooses the ElDorado ($30,000) and Jackie Collins as his lucky star.

1…2…3…

nope. So Bob will come back and play again. If he wins, he’ll get to try that key in another Caddy.

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-1981?

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: Brenda (married to Louis, a dental technician)
X: George Newark (Retired equipment salesman, father of three, grandfather of 10)

Round 1 Prize: Tappan Fridge/Freezer, Dishwasher and Microwave Range ($2,700+)

Brenda starts
1 Foster: You’re a 71-year-old man and find you’re not interested in sex as much as you used to be. Does your doctor have something for you that might help?
“He’s gonna let me examine his nurse”
“I’ve Tried everything” He was 68
Guess: No
Brenda disagrees O (Hormone Injections, Foster’s been taking them for a year)
2 Paul: Rip Van Winkle slept for 20 years and missed a war. Which one?
“The one between Tom Snyder and Rona Berrett”
Guess: Revolutionary War
George agrees X
3 George: In 1853, the United States made the historic Gadsden Purchase from Mexico. What exactly did we buy?
“A Portrait in Velvet, George Washington Crossing the Rio Grande in a Row Boat”
Guess: Puerto Rico
Brenda agrees X (Part of Arizona and New Mexico)
4 John to win: According to the Bible, as a punishment, the Lord didn’t allow Moses to go there. Where?
“Yankee Stadium”
No Guess!
George jumps in with Israel. O (The Promised Land, Canaan)
5 Elayne to win: According to research, if you eat in front of the television, are you probably going to eat more or less than if you ate away from the tube?
“If you watched the news, you’d eat less because you’d lose your appetite” She also has a spiel about why she can’t eat Russian Dressing anymore.
Guess: More
Brenda disagrees X
6 Jack to win: One of your feet is a half size smaller than the other one. What’s probably wrong?
Guess: “You’re in foot trouble.”
George agrees O (Most people are like that)
7 Steve: In sports, he was known as Smokin’ Joe. Who was that?
Guess: Joe DiMaggio
Brenda agrees X (Joe Frazier)
8 Pearl for 5-Square Win: According to Dr. Joyce Brothers, should you give a bird as a gift to somebody?
Guess: No
George agrees WIN! (Along with any live animal)

Round 2 Prize: 2 Casablanca Ceiling Fans ($1,000+)

Today’s Big Winner (Over $4,400):
* Trip to Manzanillo, MX (1wk.@ Club Maeva Las Hadas; AeroMexico)
* Flexatard Leotards
* American Tourister Cross Country Luggage
* Eumig Movie Camera/Projector
* Trip to Merida, MX (@ Holiday Inn)

George starts
1 Paul: Pope John Paul is learning how to speak Japanese. Why?
“So he can read the owners manual on his new Datsun.”
Guess: Must be going to visit Japan.
George agrees X
2 John: Can a priest adopt a baby?
In an Irish brogue, John explains priests aren’t married. If they brought a baby into confession, he’d be in the poor box before you know it.
Guess: Yes, John knows a Korean priest who adopted
Brenda agrees O
3 Steve: According to the old adage, what will happen if you watch a pot?
Guess: The pot never boils
George agrees X
4 Foster to block: Normally, elephant’s ears are limp. When they stand straight out, you know he’s what?
“Doing a commercial for E.F. Hutton”
Guess: Ready to charge
Brenda agrees O
5 George (instead of Elayne to block): All other things being equal, will you get drunker at the beach or on the ski slopes?
“I’m usually the only guy on the beach wearing skis in a parka.”
Guess: Beach
George agrees O (Alcohol has a greater effect in high altitudes)
6 Pearl to win: He is the Lord’s messenger in both the Christian and Jewish religion. Who is he?
She can’t come up with it. (Gabriel, Peter thought Zsa Zsa Gabor)
New Question: Did most people really believe that the Earth was flat during Christopher Columbus’s time?
Guess: Yes
Brenda agrees X
7 Elayne (instead of Rose Marie):

True or False? They have now flavored fabric softeners.
Guess: They have Coconut flavored, “When you’re in the office, your behind can feel like it’s in the Bahamas.”
George agrees X
8 Rose Marie to block: True or false? According to the Los Angeles Times, one of the most popular names given to female babies in the year 1890 was Rose.
Guess: True
Brenda agrees O
9 Jack will decide this: According to the book “What to Do, When, Where and Why” when a man walks with two women, where should he be positioned? On the curbside, inside or in the middle?
Guess: In the Middle (“In case they throw garbage out the window”)
George Agrees WRONG! (Always Curbside)
BRENDA WINS!

Round 3 Prize: 2 Puch Pathfinder 10 spd. Bicycles W/Pelican Bike Trailers

And the winner gets a shot at that $100,000 stash, including:

  • Coachmen 17.5′ Crestline Trailer
  • Domes America Geodisic House
  • $20,000 Cash

Brenda starts
1 Paul: According to superstition, it’s bad luck for three people to do this?
“Share a lifesaver”
Guess: Share a man
Brenda disagrees X
2 Steve: He started his show business career as a female impersonator. The show was called “Every Sailor”. He is now a legend and a wonderful man and a big talent. Who is he?
Guess: Milton Berle
George Agrees O (Jimmy Cagney)
3 Jack: What’s the famous place in New York Who two main goals are peace and human dignity?
“I Don’t even know Who Shot J.R.?” (Ask Steve)
Guess: Salvation Army
Brenda disagrees O (The U.N.)
4 George to block (By George, I think he’s got it): What event inspired Irving Berlin to write God Bless America?
“When the IRS failed to audit his income tax return”
Guess: The Armistice that ended World War I
George agrees: It was the War itself, not the Armistice X
5: John to block: There’s a popular saying that says, if you just look after little things, what will the big things do?
Guess (after the horn sounds): “The Big things take care of themselves”
Brenda agrees O (Wins 3 to 2)

George’s total (including parting gifts): $3,780
Brenda’s total: $7,370

Closing: A quick run through all our stars-

  • Pearl Bailey’s performing in Chicago
  • George Gobel on “Harper Valley P.T.A”
  • Jack Jones on “The Jack Jones Show” or “The Palace”
  • Steve Kanaly “Dallas”
  • Rose Marie’s touring in a show “Four Girls Four”
  • John Byner “Bizarre”

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures