Jack Jones

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-1981?

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: Brenda (married to Louis, a dental technician)
X: George Newark (Retired equipment salesman, father of three, grandfather of 10)

Round 1 Prize: Tappan Fridge/Freezer, Dishwasher and Microwave Range ($2,700+)

Brenda starts
1 Foster: You’re a 71-year-old man and find you’re not interested in sex as much as you used to be. Does your doctor have something for you that might help?
“He’s gonna let me examine his nurse”
“I’ve Tried everything” He was 68
Guess: No
Brenda disagrees O (Hormone Injections, Foster’s been taking them for a year)
2 Paul: Rip Van Winkle slept for 20 years and missed a war. Which one?
“The one between Tom Snyder and Rona Berrett”
Guess: Revolutionary War
George agrees X
3 George: In 1853, the United States made the historic Gadsden Purchase from Mexico. What exactly did we buy?
“A Portrait in Velvet, George Washington Crossing the Rio Grande in a Row Boat”
Guess: Puerto Rico
Brenda agrees X (Part of Arizona and New Mexico)
4 John to win: According to the Bible, as a punishment, the Lord didn’t allow Moses to go there. Where?
“Yankee Stadium”
No Guess!
George jumps in with Israel. O (The Promised Land, Canaan)
5 Elayne to win: According to research, if you eat in front of the television, are you probably going to eat more or less than if you ate away from the tube?
“If you watched the news, you’d eat less because you’d lose your appetite” She also has a spiel about why she can’t eat Russian Dressing anymore.
Guess: More
Brenda disagrees X
6 Jack to win: One of your feet is a half size smaller than the other one. What’s probably wrong?
Guess: “You’re in foot trouble.”
George agrees O (Most people are like that)
7 Steve: In sports, he was known as Smokin’ Joe. Who was that?
Guess: Joe DiMaggio
Brenda agrees X (Joe Frazier)
8 Pearl for 5-Square Win: According to Dr. Joyce Brothers, should you give a bird as a gift to somebody?
Guess: No
George agrees WIN! (Along with any live animal)

Round 2 Prize: 2 Casablanca Ceiling Fans ($1,000+)

Today’s Big Winner (Over $4,400):
* Trip to Manzanillo, MX (1wk.@ Club Maeva Las Hadas; AeroMexico)
* Flexatard Leotards
* American Tourister Cross Country Luggage
* Eumig Movie Camera/Projector
* Trip to Merida, MX (@ Holiday Inn)

George starts
1 Paul: Pope John Paul is learning how to speak Japanese. Why?
“So he can read the owners manual on his new Datsun.”
Guess: Must be going to visit Japan.
George agrees X
2 John: Can a priest adopt a baby?
In an Irish brogue, John explains priests aren’t married. If they brought a baby into confession, he’d be in the poor box before you know it.
Guess: Yes, John knows a Korean priest who adopted
Brenda agrees O
3 Steve: According to the old adage, what will happen if you watch a pot?
Guess: The pot never boils
George agrees X
4 Foster to block: Normally, elephant’s ears are limp. When they stand straight out, you know he’s what?
“Doing a commercial for E.F. Hutton”
Guess: Ready to charge
Brenda agrees O
5 George (instead of Elayne to block): All other things being equal, will you get drunker at the beach or on the ski slopes?
“I’m usually the only guy on the beach wearing skis in a parka.”
Guess: Beach
George agrees O (Alcohol has a greater effect in high altitudes)
6 Pearl to win: He is the Lord’s messenger in both the Christian and Jewish religion. Who is he?
She can’t come up with it. (Gabriel, Peter thought Zsa Zsa Gabor)
New Question: Did most people really believe that the Earth was flat during Christopher Columbus’s time?
Guess: Yes
Brenda agrees X
7 Elayne (instead of Rose Marie):

True or False? They have now flavored fabric softeners.
Guess: They have Coconut flavored, “When you’re in the office, your behind can feel like it’s in the Bahamas.”
George agrees X
8 Rose Marie to block: True or false? According to the Los Angeles Times, one of the most popular names given to female babies in the year 1890 was Rose.
Guess: True
Brenda agrees O
9 Jack will decide this: According to the book “What to Do, When, Where and Why” when a man walks with two women, where should he be positioned? On the curbside, inside or in the middle?
Guess: In the Middle (“In case they throw garbage out the window”)
George Agrees WRONG! (Always Curbside)
BRENDA WINS!

Round 3 Prize: 2 Puch Pathfinder 10 spd. Bicycles W/Pelican Bike Trailers

And the winner gets a shot at that $100,000 stash, including:

  • Coachmen 17.5′ Crestline Trailer
  • Domes America Geodisic House
  • $20,000 Cash

Brenda starts
1 Paul: According to superstition, it’s bad luck for three people to do this?
“Share a lifesaver”
Guess: Share a man
Brenda disagrees X
2 Steve: He started his show business career as a female impersonator. The show was called “Every Sailor”. He is now a legend and a wonderful man and a big talent. Who is he?
Guess: Milton Berle
George Agrees O (Jimmy Cagney)
3 Jack: What’s the famous place in New York Who two main goals are peace and human dignity?
“I Don’t even know Who Shot J.R.?” (Ask Steve)
Guess: Salvation Army
Brenda disagrees O (The U.N.)
4 George to block (By George, I think he’s got it): What event inspired Irving Berlin to write God Bless America?
“When the IRS failed to audit his income tax return”
Guess: The Armistice that ended World War I
George agrees: It was the War itself, not the Armistice X
5: John to block: There’s a popular saying that says, if you just look after little things, what will the big things do?
Guess (after the horn sounds): “The Big things take care of themselves”
Brenda agrees O (Wins 3 to 2)

George’s total (including parting gifts): $3,780
Brenda’s total: $7,370

Closing: A quick run through all our stars-

  • Pearl Bailey’s performing in Chicago
  • George Gobel on “Harper Valley P.T.A”
  • Jack Jones on “The Jack Jones Show” or “The Palace”
  • Steve Kanaly “Dallas”
  • Rose Marie’s touring in a show “Four Girls Four”
  • John Byner “Bizarre”

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

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