Hollywood Squares

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES Premiere-September 15, 1986

Host: John Davidson
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens

O: Ciarra Kind (Beverly Hills, CA, actress nicknamed “7up” for being bubbly)
X: Bob Blanchard (flight attendant internationally)

Rules are the same: Tic-Tac-Toe by agreeing or disagreeing with our stars. Each game worth $500 and the player with the most cash plays for a new Cadillac.

ROUND 1

Ciarra first
1 “The wonderful Bronson Pinchot“: According to Greek legend, why did women used to rub crushed strawberries all over their bodies?
“Because it got them strawberries at a discount.”
Guess: To soften their skin
Ciarra agrees X (Believe it would make them taller)
2 Mariette: True or false? In ancient Greek mythology, there was a god of images named Polaroidis.
“Not Kodak Kola”
Guess: False
Bob agrees X
3: “The lovely Betty White” to block: Which of these has been around longer, birth control pills or the Big Mac?
Guess: Big Mac “He’s why they invented birth control”
Ciarra agrees WRONG! (Pill in 1960, Big Mac in ’68)
4 Betty to win: Complete the lyric:

Nobody does it better
Makes me feel bad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you…

“And now I need a rest”
Guess: “Baby, you’re the best”
Bob agrees WIN!

SECRET SQUARE GAME: Trip to the Virgin Islands (Eastern; 1wk.@ Bluebeard’s Castle in St. Thomas)

The return of a Hollywood Squares tradition. All the player has to do is pick the square and get the question right.

Cierra starts
1 Bronson: If you called the White House and asked to speak to President Reagan, what will the White House operator typically say:

  1. A: “He’s not available at the moment”
  2. B: “The President cannot take individual phone calls”
  3. C: “The President is in a meeting and will get back to you.”

Bronson: “He’s clearing brush in Santa Barbara”
Guess: C
Cierra disagrees, John doesn’t have the answer
LET’S FIND OUT: Bronson has a phone, Balki Bartokomous makes the call. All he gets is a busy signal. He gets through to the receptionist in D.C. She says “Not available at the moment.” O
2 John and his Ducks: According to the Glen Oak feed-in pet store the simplest way to tell the sex of a duck is to simply look at its what?
Guess: The feet, females have smaller feet (does his best Donald impression)
Bob disagrees X (The Tail feathers, males are curled, females are flat)
3 Lorenzo: According to a noted psychologist, what is the most overused “come-on” line for a man to use on a woman in the supermarket.
“Why don’t you take off your clothes” or “Nice melons”
Guess: Do you come here often?
Cierra disagrees O (Do you really eat that junk?)
4 Itzhak to block: True or false? According to Psychology Today, to most people music is even more thrilling than sex.
“And it pays better”
Guess: True
Bob agrees X
5 “The lovely Jackie Collins”: Who gained fame as the Little Tramp?
“Alexis Carrington”
Guess: Charlie Chaplin
Cierra agrees O
6 Emma to block: According to U.S. News and World Report, more millionaires live there than anywhere else. Where is that?
“The Colby Mansion”
Guess: California
Bob disagrees WRONG! (Florida has the highest concentration per household)
7 Emma to win: Your male boss keeps making passes at you and you’re not Betty White so you can’t enjoy it. You’re not interested, but you don’t want to jeopardize your job. According to Family Circle, what should you do?
“Run him down in the parking lot”
Guess: Politely say “Get off my back”
Cierra agrees WIN! (Tell them “You’re flattered”)
Secret Square: Mariette

ROUND 3

Bob starts
1 Bronson: You’re going on a cruise and your doctor prescribes a small thin adhesive patch to be placed behind your ear. Why would he do that?
“Because you have a slow leak”
Guess: Prevent seasickness
Bob agrees X “You bet your seasickness”
2 “The beautiful Mariette Hartley”: How did Dr. Joyce Brothers answer this question: “Why does my 18-month-old son cry every time my husband embraces me?”
“Because you’re supposed to put the kid down first.”
Guess: He thinks the mother’s gonna leave him
Cierra disagrees O (And she guessed right that it was jealousy)
3 John (without the ducks): According to the Wall Street Journal, why are some meter readers in Philadelphia now wearing bulletproof pants?
“Because the city’s full of trigger-happy midgets”
Guess: Keep them warmer in the winter
Bob disagrees X (Prevents dog bites)
4 Phylicia and Ahmad: Surveys show that most couples planning on having children (She’s due in December) would prefer to begin with a what?
Ahmad “Glass of white wine”
Guess: Girl for Phylicia (overruling Ahmad)
Cierra disagrees O
5 Itzhak to block: It’s a really wonderful thing to have one of these, Dr Hang S. Noir has one. Rockstar Prince has one. F. Murray Abraham has one and you don’t have one. What
“A silly name” (The horn goes off)
Guess: Oscar
Bob disagrees WRONG!

VERY INTERESTING, each player would get $100 for each symbol. Since Cierra didn’t get the circle, the game would be tied at $700. So, Cierra plays on
6 Itzhak to decide the match: Who supposedly said “Let them eat cake”?
Guess: Napoleon
Cierra agrees X (Marie Antoinette) BOB WINS WITH $800!

Now Bob reaches into the key bowl. It’s not for wife swapping, those keys will start these Cadillacs.

  • ElDorado
  • Seville
  • Coupe DeVille
  • Cimarron
  • Sedan DeVille

Bob chooses the ElDorado ($30,000) and Jackie Collins as his lucky star.

1…2…3…

nope. So Bob will come back and play again. If he wins, he’ll get to try that key in another Caddy.

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-February 1, 1981

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: Bonita Williams (Santa Ana, CA, originally from Nashville with Bahamian accent, former Navy Petty Officer, now a flight operator for major airline)
X: Calvin Rolling (Hanover, PA, high school guidance counselor, married to elem. teacher)

Round 1

Calvin Starts
1 Paul: In English, we know the three daughters of Zeus are Joy, Bloom and Brilliance. Together, they are known as the three what?
“Little Pigs”
Guess: The Three Muses
Calvin agrees O (Three Graces)
2 Marilyn and Billy: True or False? The man who wrote “Easter Parade” and “White Christmas” was Jewish.
Guess: True
Bonita agrees O (Irving Berlin)
3 Phyllis Diller to block: She’s wearing a choker, calling it a tiara worn low.
Question: Who’s the famous artist known for capturing the gay life in Paris?
Guess: Toulouse-Latrec
Calvin agrees X

Prize for Round 1: Chromcraft Dinette Set ($1,200+)

4 Garrett aka Chico Escuela: What does it mean when a baseball player fans?
Guess: Walks
Bonita agrees X (Strikes Out)
5 Robert: On Television, his buddies include Mr. Moose, Grandfather Clock and Bunny Rabbit. Who is it?
“Paul Lynde”
No Guess (Captain Kangaroo)
After Narcissus jilted Echo, who did he fall in love with?
Robert’s rusty in mythology, although he studied at Paloma College. Paloma is the goddess of fruit.
Calvin disagrees O
6 Tom to win: According to studies at Brown University, there are really only two odors that we consider good and clean. One is pine, what’s the other?
Tom: “A Danish”
Peter: “A Sweet Roll?”
Tom: “No, a Danish Flight Attendant”
“Has Paul Lynde been taken?”
Guess: Fresh Air
Bonita agrees X (Lemon)
7 Foster: How many days will uncooked poultry keep fresh?
“We’ll never know, because when we open the refrigerator, it flew away.”
Guess: 3 Days (Foster knows cooking)
Calvin agrees O (4 Days)
8 Elayne for 5-Square Win: According to the Cleveland Plane Dealer, out of every 10 women, how many are overweight?
“So hard to tell.” ” I guess you know you’re fat if your nightgown is pulling in CENSORED”
Guess: 6
Bonita disagrees WIN! (8 out of 10)

Round 2 Prize: Hamilton Charterole Grandfather Clock ($1,800+)

Today’s Big Winner:
* Trip to Kauai (1wk.@ Hanalai Bay, Airfare via Western)
* Botany 500 Men’s Wardrobe
* Skyway 8pc. Luggage
* Catalina His/Her Active Wear
* Fujica AX 35mm SLR Camera

Bonita starts
1 Paul: In his first term, Nixon was a minority president. What does that mean?
“He was Chinese”
Guess: He had the minority of votes and was still elected
Bonita agrees O (Less Than 50% of the Vote)
2 Tom: According to the L.A. Times, when travelling in the Arctic, eskimos usually stop every hour or so and do something. What do they do?
“Make Igloo”
Guess: They Eat
Calvin agrees O (Brew Tea)
3 Robert to win: The date, June 17th, 1972. The Place, Washington D.C.. You are there. What famous event is going on.
Guess: Kennedy took office
Bonita disagrees WIN! (Watergate Hotel was broken into)

Round 3 Prize: Admiral Fridge/Freezer, Gas Range and Dishwasher ($1,700+)

Calvin starts
1 Paul: If you have high blood pressure, there’s something that you’re probably going to have to learn to do without. What is it?
“Old Age”
Guess: Salt
Calvin agrees X
2 Phyllis Davis: According to Ask Beth (a column), if you think a guy has asked you out because you have large bust measurements, should you still go out with this fella?
Guess: “I would”
Bonita agrees (“Me Too” from Foster) O (It’s the only way to know)
3 Phyllis Diller: According to doctors, how long will the average facelift last before it starts to sag again?
“You’re looking at it” Phyllis had on and her own dog didn’t know her. That is, until he ate and threw up his dinner.
Guess: 5-10 years
Calvin agrees X
4 Marilyn and Billy to block: Back in the 60s, hitchhike, jerk and monkey were all what?
Marilyn says it’s before her time.
Guess: Dances
Bonita agrees O
5 Robert: One of the most famous quotes in history was when American soldiers said “Lafayette, We Are Here” Where were they?
“At the Kennedy Inauguration in 1972”
Guess: American Revolution
Calvin agrees O (Coming to the aid of France during WWI)
5 Garrett: What does it mean to talk turkey?
“Are you trying to be insulting?”
Guess:

Video cuts off here. If anyone knows about the rest of the episode, drop me a line.

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-1981?

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: Brenda (married to Louis, a dental technician)
X: George Newark (Retired equipment salesman, father of three, grandfather of 10)

Round 1 Prize: Tappan Fridge/Freezer, Dishwasher and Microwave Range ($2,700+)

Brenda starts
1 Foster: You’re a 71-year-old man and find you’re not interested in sex as much as you used to be. Does your doctor have something for you that might help?
“He’s gonna let me examine his nurse”
“I’ve Tried everything” He was 68
Guess: No
Brenda disagrees O (Hormone Injections, Foster’s been taking them for a year)
2 Paul: Rip Van Winkle slept for 20 years and missed a war. Which one?
“The one between Tom Snyder and Rona Berrett”
Guess: Revolutionary War
George agrees X
3 George: In 1853, the United States made the historic Gadsden Purchase from Mexico. What exactly did we buy?
“A Portrait in Velvet, George Washington Crossing the Rio Grande in a Row Boat”
Guess: Puerto Rico
Brenda agrees X (Part of Arizona and New Mexico)
4 John to win: According to the Bible, as a punishment, the Lord didn’t allow Moses to go there. Where?
“Yankee Stadium”
No Guess!
George jumps in with Israel. O (The Promised Land, Canaan)
5 Elayne to win: According to research, if you eat in front of the television, are you probably going to eat more or less than if you ate away from the tube?
“If you watched the news, you’d eat less because you’d lose your appetite” She also has a spiel about why she can’t eat Russian Dressing anymore.
Guess: More
Brenda disagrees X
6 Jack to win: One of your feet is a half size smaller than the other one. What’s probably wrong?
Guess: “You’re in foot trouble.”
George agrees O (Most people are like that)
7 Steve: In sports, he was known as Smokin’ Joe. Who was that?
Guess: Joe DiMaggio
Brenda agrees X (Joe Frazier)
8 Pearl for 5-Square Win: According to Dr. Joyce Brothers, should you give a bird as a gift to somebody?
Guess: No
George agrees WIN! (Along with any live animal)

Round 2 Prize: 2 Casablanca Ceiling Fans ($1,000+)

Today’s Big Winner (Over $4,400):
* Trip to Manzanillo, MX (1wk.@ Club Maeva Las Hadas; AeroMexico)
* Flexatard Leotards
* American Tourister Cross Country Luggage
* Eumig Movie Camera/Projector
* Trip to Merida, MX (@ Holiday Inn)

George starts
1 Paul: Pope John Paul is learning how to speak Japanese. Why?
“So he can read the owners manual on his new Datsun.”
Guess: Must be going to visit Japan.
George agrees X
2 John: Can a priest adopt a baby?
In an Irish brogue, John explains priests aren’t married. If they brought a baby into confession, he’d be in the poor box before you know it.
Guess: Yes, John knows a Korean priest who adopted
Brenda agrees O
3 Steve: According to the old adage, what will happen if you watch a pot?
Guess: The pot never boils
George agrees X
4 Foster to block: Normally, elephant’s ears are limp. When they stand straight out, you know he’s what?
“Doing a commercial for E.F. Hutton”
Guess: Ready to charge
Brenda agrees O
5 George (instead of Elayne to block): All other things being equal, will you get drunker at the beach or on the ski slopes?
“I’m usually the only guy on the beach wearing skis in a parka.”
Guess: Beach
George agrees O (Alcohol has a greater effect in high altitudes)
6 Pearl to win: He is the Lord’s messenger in both the Christian and Jewish religion. Who is he?
She can’t come up with it. (Gabriel, Peter thought Zsa Zsa Gabor)
New Question: Did most people really believe that the Earth was flat during Christopher Columbus’s time?
Guess: Yes
Brenda agrees X
7 Elayne (instead of Rose Marie):

True or False? They have now flavored fabric softeners.
Guess: They have Coconut flavored, “When you’re in the office, your behind can feel like it’s in the Bahamas.”
George agrees X
8 Rose Marie to block: True or false? According to the Los Angeles Times, one of the most popular names given to female babies in the year 1890 was Rose.
Guess: True
Brenda agrees O
9 Jack will decide this: According to the book “What to Do, When, Where and Why” when a man walks with two women, where should he be positioned? On the curbside, inside or in the middle?
Guess: In the Middle (“In case they throw garbage out the window”)
George Agrees WRONG! (Always Curbside)
BRENDA WINS!

Round 3 Prize: 2 Puch Pathfinder 10 spd. Bicycles W/Pelican Bike Trailers

And the winner gets a shot at that $100,000 stash, including:

  • Coachmen 17.5′ Crestline Trailer
  • Domes America Geodisic House
  • $20,000 Cash

Brenda starts
1 Paul: According to superstition, it’s bad luck for three people to do this?
“Share a lifesaver”
Guess: Share a man
Brenda disagrees X
2 Steve: He started his show business career as a female impersonator. The show was called “Every Sailor”. He is now a legend and a wonderful man and a big talent. Who is he?
Guess: Milton Berle
George Agrees O (Jimmy Cagney)
3 Jack: What’s the famous place in New York Who two main goals are peace and human dignity?
“I Don’t even know Who Shot J.R.?” (Ask Steve)
Guess: Salvation Army
Brenda disagrees O (The U.N.)
4 George to block (By George, I think he’s got it): What event inspired Irving Berlin to write God Bless America?
“When the IRS failed to audit his income tax return”
Guess: The Armistice that ended World War I
George agrees: It was the War itself, not the Armistice X
5: John to block: There’s a popular saying that says, if you just look after little things, what will the big things do?
Guess (after the horn sounds): “The Big things take care of themselves”
Brenda agrees O (Wins 3 to 2)

George’s total (including parting gifts): $3,780
Brenda’s total: $7,370

Closing: A quick run through all our stars-

  • Pearl Bailey’s performing in Chicago
  • George Gobel on “Harper Valley P.T.A”
  • Jack Jones on “The Jack Jones Show” or “The Palace”
  • Steve Kanaly “Dallas”
  • Rose Marie’s touring in a show “Four Girls Four”
  • John Byner “Bizarre”

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-December 24, 1980

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: Kathy Thomas (homemaker and mother of two, volunteer and married to pianist working the Tropicana)
X: (Mike Baggett, English teacher at Vegas’s Chapparal High School, baseball coach and bachelor)

Round 1 Prize: Broyhill 11pc. Living Room Set (over $2,900)

Kathy’s first
1 Paul: According to Rosalind Carter, how did little Amy take it when she learned she wasn’t going to live in the White House anymore?
“The crying and screaming went on for hours until Amy said, “Knock it off, Daddy.””
Guess: She took it very well
Kathy agrees X
2 Gabe who Mike has fought his image as a teacher for years:
According to Man and Woman Magazine, in an Anfrican tribal village, what does it probably mean when a young warrior puts on makeup and starts dancing.”
“There’s a Peter Allen concert in Nairobi”
Guess: He Wants to be Chief
Mike disagrees X (Wants a wife)
3 Arte to block: Do they sing “Auld Lang Syne” in India?
(Arte replies in Broken Indian I don’t dare repeat)
Guess: Yes, actually a top song
Kathy disagrees WRONG
4 Arte to win: According to the Book of Weird, what happens when a Wolf Man dies?
“He comes back as a mushroom spore” (No Laughter)
Guess: Turns to dust
Mike agrees O (Turns back into a normal man)
5 Phyllis: At a formal dinner, how should you eat frog legs?
Buddy: “After they’re dead”
Phyllis: She was at a restaurant with her dog “Fang”. They got upset because Fang “wouldn’t eat with a knife and fork, because she absolutely loved those goldfish”
Guess: Pick ’em Up and Eat ’em
Kathy disagrees X
6 Greg to win: According to the the book “The Great Quotations”, who is famous for saying “Bolshevism is knocking at our gates. We can’t afford to let it in” Franklin Roosevelt, Winston Churchill or Al Capone?
Guess: Capone
Mike disagrees O
7 Buddy: In terms of radiation, is it hazardous to eat the luminous dial on your wristwatch?
Buddy tells us Radii once made a watch. No numbers, no hands “Just sent out a white light to burn your nose off.” They needed worm blood to dilute the paint.
Guess: Yes
Kathy agrees X “They Don’t taste very good”
8 Patrick to win: Wrong Way Corrigan made a name for himself in the history books. He did something the wrong way, what did he do?
Guess: Ran the wrong Way for a touchdown
Mike agrees O (Flew the wrong way heading to California and wound up in Ireland)
9 Pia to stop a five-square win: According to the fairy tale, the king’s huntsman just couldn’t bring himself to do something when he took Snow White into the woods. What was it?
“How old was he?”
Guess: Couldn’t leave her there
Kathy disagrees O (He couldn’t kill her)
10 Britt to decide: Do you have to pay income tax on alimony?
Guess: Yes
Mike agrees WIN!

Round 2 Prize: Pearl Grandfather Clock ($1,100)

Today’s Big Winner (Over $4,500):
* Trip to Kauai (1 wk.@ Hanalei Bay Resort, Airfare via Western)
* Puch Maxi Moped
* Joy Stevens Ladies’ Fashion
* Venture 7pc. Luggage
* Eumig Nautica Movie Camera/Projector

Mike first
1 Paul: According to studies, will being breastfed make you smarter?
“I’m willing to try anything”
Guess: No
Mark agrees O
2: Patrick: According to the famous line by T.S. Eliot, what ends with a whimper?
Guess: A Love Affair
Kathy agrees X (The World)
3 Arte: In France, you’d be called “”. In Germany you would be called “Schwenger”. What would you be called here?
“Leon Krafty, an expert free thrower”
Guess: Pregnant
Mike agrees X
4 Phyllis to block: It’s proper to give your boss two weeks notice before you quite a job. Acoording to the book of Modern Manners, should a boss give you two weeks notice before he fires you?
“very small office that stops on every floor” or on a map in their office “loosen your tack”
Guess: Yes
Kathy agrees WRONG (He does have to pay you, though)
5 Phyllis to Win: Do Hari Krishna followers wear anything under those orange robes?
Guess: “I Hope Not”
Mike disagrees WIN! (They wear traditional undergarments)

Last Time, they stopped me at the airport. I said I gave him another life

More from Ms. Diller

Round 3 Prize: Jenn-Air Convertible Grill Range ($1,000+)

Don’t forget that $100,000 tournament including…

  • Domes America Geodismic Home
  • Midas Van
  • $20,000 Cash

Kathy Starts Round 3

1 Gabe: In a large area of Europe, if you see a sign on a house with a picture of a green bed, it means there’s a room for rent. What does it mean if the bed is read?
“The person who just used the room had a rash”
Guess: There’s no room
Kathy agrees O
2 Paul: What’s the famous Spanish word that means silly, foolish, stupid, dumb and fool?
“Señor”
No guess “Tonto”
New question: According to research, who are the loneliest people around?
“Chrysler Dealers”
Guess: The elderly
Mike disagrees X (Teenagers)
3 Buddy: Is there such a thing as a kosher pencil?
Guess: Yes, until it gets greasy
Kathy disagrees X (Used by butchers to classify kosher meat)
4 Patrick to win: Who is responsible for sinking a ship named the Essex?
Guess: John Paul Jones
Mike disagrees WIN AGAIN! (Moby Dick)

Round 4 Prize: DuPont Antron III Carpeting

Mike starts
1 Paul: True or False? A man of the cloth gave us bourbon whiskey.
“Bless Him”
Guess: True
Mike agrees X (Elijah Craig, the “Father of Bourbon”)
2 Arte: The Chinese gave us spaghetti, gunpowder and kites. Did they also give us the bagel?
(Broken Chinese with Buddy)
Guess: Yes
Kathy disagrees O
3 Buddy: Back in Ancient Egypt, it was common practice to remove the insides of something, wash the outside stuff it with spices, soak it for 70 days in the salt solution, wash it again, wrap it up and then you’d have…
“It would’ve been be done with the new Chevette but they didn’t have one.”
Guess: A Body (after the honk sounded)
Mike agrees X (2 to 1 win) (It was a mummy)

Kathy leaves with nothing!
Mike’s total: $11,130

Plug for Pia’s new movie “Butterfly” where she plays a 17-year-old. “I skipped two years”

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES (syndicated)-2/4/81

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: J.J. Tande (San Diego, CA, Navy wife heading to Japan, mother of four)

X: Jerrod Mink (Alma, GA, in air conditioning)

Round 1 Prize: Tappan Fridge, Dishwasher and Microwave/Range ($2,800)

J.J. first
1 Ross: Something very famous started when a guy named Paris stole a woman named Helen. What happened?
Guess: The Trojan War
J.J. Agrees O
2 Wayland and Madame: In the nursery rhyme, what did Little Jack Horner do that convinced him he was a good boy?
“When Mary told him she had a little lamb, he didn’t make a wisecrack”
Guess: He pulls out a plum
Jerrod Agrees X
3 Paul: According to a famous poet, what burns at both ends?
“Listerine”
Guess: The Candle
J.J. Agrees O
4 Vikki to block: Nothing in your home uses up more energy that this.
Guess: Washers and Dryers, but Peter means Water, Electricity, Gas
Re-Do: Electric
Jerrod Disagrees X (Hot Water Heater)
5 Tom: Did Jonah stay overnight in the belly of the whale?
“When the whale went to sleep, he snuck out the back way”
Guess: Yes
J.J. Agrees O
6 Fred to Block: According to the Boy Scout Handbook (Fred doesn’t remember his rank), what is a boy’s most valuable possession?
His bunk mate’s best possession was a “benoit”. “I Was sorry I gave him the darn thing”
Guess: The Boy Scout Manual
Jerrod Disagrees X (His Honor)
7 Margaret to Block: Where is Queen Elizabeth’s husband supposed to walk when he’s with her in public?
Guess: Ten Paces in Front
J.J. Disagrees O (Several steps behind her)
8 Phyllis to block: True or False? Some cultures think avocados make you feel sexy?
Guess: True
J.J. Agrees X
9 Jim Stafford for 5-Square Win: Does marijuana do anything funny to cows when they eat it?
He prefers drinking “If you smoke dope, you don’t get to throw up”
Guess: Yes
J.J. Agrees WIN! Peter adds, “They start wandering aimlessly around and start playing musical instruments”

Note: Had she missed, Jerrod would’ve gotten it by default. Just one thing I can say about that…

Round 2 Prize: Lane Backgammon Desk Table

For Today’s Big Winner:
* Trip to Islamorada, FL (1wk.@ Cheeca Lodge)
* D’Avila Men’s Wardrobe
* Pedre His/Her Gold Watches
* 7d Carnival Caribbean Cruise

Jerrod to Start
1 Paul: Why did the sailors throw Jonah off their boat.
“He looked Cuban”
Guess: Too many people on board
Jerrod Disagrees X (To stop the storm he was causing, God was angry)
2 Ross: His first film was “Love is on the Air” and his last was “The Killers”. Who is he?
Guess: James Cagney
J.J. Agrees X (Ronald Reagan, Cagney was shooting a film at taping)
3 Vicki to win: “You’re the Tops”, “All Through the Night”, and “I Get a Kick Out of You” are all songs from a popular musical show. Name the show
Guess: Anything Goes
Jerrod Agrees WIN! (Both Vicki and Peter have been in that show)

Round 3 Prize: Broyhill French Provincial Bedroom ($1,000+)

Each winner gets to come back for that tournament for the following:

  • Domes America Geodesic House
  • Midas Van RV
  • $20,000 in Cash
  • Buick Riviera

J.J. starts
1 Paul: True or False? Hugh Hefner has announced plans for a giant amusement park in Nevada to be called Bunny Land.
“One of the rides is Miss November”
Guess: True
J.J. agrees X
2 Wayland and Madame: “Who wore a blue shirt, blue pants, a red kerchief, a white hat and a black mask?”
“Sammy Davis Jr., but I don’t remember no mask.”
Guess: The Lone Ranger
Jerrod disagrees O
3 Tom: “The wise old philosopher Socrates once stated that you should call no man unhappy he has done something at least once. What?”
“Eaten Christmas dinner at the House of Pancakes”
No Answer (Until he’s gotten married)
T: “True or false? Studies showed that the size and power of a person’s car often reveals something about his sexual personality.”
Tom: “I Drive a Volkswagen”
Peter: “Well, it’s better than that minibus you had”
Tom: “Both are out of gas a lot”

Guess: True
J.J. agrees O
4 Vikki “The woman on trial for running a house of ill-repute in San Francisco has been sentenced to 90 days in a convent.”
Guess: True
Jarrod agrees X
5 Ross to block: “Cupid, the god of love, was the son of Venus, the Goddess of Beauty. Who was Cupid’s Daddy?”
“She’s been trying to find out for Centuries”
Guess: A Swan
J.J. disagrees O (Mars, the god of war: Ross “I Knew it wasn’t me”)
6 Margaret: “True or False, According to the book of Lists, Josephine often feel out of bed when making love to Napoleon.”
Guess: True
Jarrod agrees X
7 Phyllis to block: “Something Joan Crawford wore in the film “Mildred Pierce” made American housewives all over the country copied.
Shoulder Pads
J.J. Agrees O “Also the San Diego Chargers”
8 Jim to block: “According to a recent survey of prominent clergymen, is it okay for a gambler to pray for good luck?”
Guess: No
Jerrod Disagrees WRONG
9 Jim to win: “According to statistics, this is the most popular instrument among amateur musicians. What is it?”
Guess: Guitar
J.J. Agrees X (Piano)
10 Fred to decide: “In a popular song, they say that leather is tough, but this girl is tougher. And she like to see men suffer.”
“I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. What am i sayin”
Answer: Hard-Hearted Hannah
Jerrod agrees WIN!

Round 4 Prize: Spalding Executive Golf Clubs

1 Jerrod to start:
Tom: “In a movie, who is famous for saying “Gotta Dance, Gotta Dance””
“Peg Leg Bates”
Gene Kelly
Jerrod agrees X (From “Singin’ in the Rain”)
2 Paul: “According to Ann Landers, who should you complain to about an unsatisfactory piece of meat.”
“No one, it’s hereditary”
HONK!
Guess: The manager
J.J. agrees WRONG (The Waiter)

J.J.’s Total (with Parting Gifts): $3,700
Jerrod’s Total: $8,350

Closing: Fred Willard is appearing in the movie “First Family”. Also featured are Bob Newhart, Gilda Radner, Harvey Korman and Jim Benjamin.

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-October 19, 1980

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: Pam Molosca (Fairview Heights, OH, Flight Attendant)
X: Ken Bosket (Detroit, MI, Attending Vegas Community College and Father of Three)

In this version, our players aren’t playing for cash. Each game is worth a prize. No Secret Square games The player who wins the most games wins the grand prize of the day AND moves on to a $100,000 tournament. More about that later.

ROUND 1 Prize: Broyhill French Provincial Bedroom Ensemble

Ken’s first
1 George: True or false? Sophia Loren is a wanted person in Italy.
“Just what she needs another bust! Like a turtle needs a brassiere”
Guess: True
Ken Agrees X
2 Lee: According to the song, Hear the wind Blow dear, Hear the Wind Blow” where?
Guess: Down in the Valley
Pam disagrees X
3 Paul: In the bible, does the Lord ever say that he hates anybody?
Guess: Yes
Ken Agrees X (Two chances to win)
4 Linda, HUH? (Should’ve stuck with Bill to Block)
Who said you’re never fully dressed without a smile?
Guess: Will Rogers
Pam Disagrees O
5 Jim for the Win: True or false? Does a religious group in the South Pacific that, believe it or not, praise everyday to Donald Duck.
Well, Jim says he’s a Frisbee-terian, who worships Frisbees and believe that when you die, your soul is stuck on the roof.
Guess: True
Ken Disagrees WIN! (Scoreboard simply displays an X or O on their scoreboard when they win a round)

Round 2 Prize: Whirlpool Fridge, Dishwasher and Electric Range ($1,899)

For Today’s Big Winner: $4,400 Total
* 7-Day Carnival Caribbean Cruise
* Funky! Dresses
* Trip to Miami (1wk. @ Newport)
* Kenya 14k Gold Earrings, Ring and Tie Tack
* Konica FS1 Single Reflex Camera

Pam to Start
1 Paul: We get it by a Himalayan goat and lots of people want to have it. What is it?
“Twinkie Filling”
Guess: Roquefort Dressing
Pam Disagrees O (Cashmere)
2 George: True or false? There are now up to 50 parts of the body that can be replaced.
“Don’t try to install them yourselves.”
Guess: True
Ken Agrees X
3 Jim: According to the book Lifespans, how long should a good guitar last within 10 years?
Jim played guitar instead of football, and he can kick a guitar 60 yards
Guess: As long as you do, about 100 years
Pam Disagrees O (200 Years)
4 Lee to Block: According to Weight Watchers, a person’s middle years are from 35 to what?
Guess: At least 50
Ken Agrees X
5 Linda: According to Weight Watchers, is it a good or bad idea to exercise in the nude?
Guess: Good Idea
Pam Agrees O
6 Ann to Block: What heavenly body does man know more about that any other?
“Marilyn Monroe”
Guess: The Sun
Ken Disagrees X (The Earth)
7 David to block: True or false? Fish Burp
“I’m thinking who the idiot was who found out about this? What an occupation”
Guess: False, but they barf
Pam Agrees WRONG (One in South America can burp loud enough to be heard a mile away)
8 David to Win: True or false There are exercises for you to do while you are on your death bed.
Three, Swing a burping fish above you head, never close your eyes and move your lips to say “You’re all out of the will”
Guess: True
Ken Agrees WIN!

Round 3 Prize: Soundesign Disco Stereo

Ken Starts
1 George: Jogging has been found effective for many things.  Has it been found effective in treating a hangover?
George says he’s had hangovers you could frame.
Guess: No
Ken Agrees X
2 Lee: True or False: According to research at Yale, even just looking at food can make fat people fatter.
“Looking at a donut makes it go from hand to thighs”
Guess: True
Pam Disagrees X
3 Wayland and Madame (“I’m gonna start looking at the hole in the donut”)
True or false? A man in France recently ate an entire bicycle.
“Now that’s what I call ruffage!”
Guess: False
Ken Agrees O
4 Bill: In 1947, they took away several big chunks of India and called them what?
New Delhis, all over New York
No Answer. Ken is offered to guess himself, but he declines for a new question. (Pakistan)
B: You are two stories tall, weigh 20 tons, a six inch tooth, look like a huge ugly kangaroo with a great lashing tail, and loves meat for dinner.  What do we call you?
“Sounds like my mother-in-law”
Guess: Dinosaur
Pam Disagrees X (Two shots)
5 Paul to block: After doing this seven times, the Pope said enough for a while, what was the Pope doing?
“Personally hearing a confession from Ann Margaret”
On tour doing communions
Ken disagrees O (Judges rule Paul was close enough to touring)
6 David who hold the win for both: According to Gallup, this is the one food teenagers hate more than any other food.
Guess: Broccoli
Pam Disagrees WIN! (Spinach)

Round 4 Prize: Apple II Computer ($1,195)

Pam’s turn
Paul: Something really, really awful happened began July 1, 1863 and continued off and on for three days.
It’s Not the David Letterman Show. (Heh-Heh-Heh, payback for how HS was canceled on NBC)
Can’t think of anything before the buzzer sounds “Thank God” (It Was The Battle of Gettysburg)

We still have a computer to give away so we’ll go to another question. If Pam gets it, she ties the match. If not, Ken is the champ.
Who wrote the classic WWII novel, the Naked and the Dead James Jones, Leon Uris or Norman Mailer?
Guess: Jones
Pam Agrees WRONG (Mailer)

Pam’s Total (with Parting Gifts): $1,650
Jim’s Total: Around $8,600

Jim will eventually return to play in the big tournament. Grand prize package totaling $100,000! Includes:

  • $20,000 Cash
  • Domes America Geodisic House
  • Coachmen 17.5 ft. Crestline Travel Trailer

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.