THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES Premiere-September 15, 1986
gamespeopleplayed 
Host: John Davidson
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens
O: Ciarra Kind (Beverly Hills, CA, actress nicknamed “7up” for being bubbly)
X: Bob Blanchard (flight attendant internationally)
Rules are the same: Tic-Tac-Toe by agreeing or disagreeing with our stars. Each game worth $500 and the player with the most cash plays for a new Cadillac.
ROUND 1
Ciarra first
1 “The wonderful Bronson Pinchot“: According to Greek legend, why did women used to rub crushed strawberries all over their bodies?
“Because it got them strawberries at a discount.”
Guess: To soften their skin
Ciarra agrees X (Believe it would make them taller)
2 Mariette: True or false? In ancient Greek mythology, there was a god of images named Polaroidis.
“Not Kodak Kola”
Guess: False
Bob agrees X
3: “The lovely Betty White” to block: Which of these has been around longer, birth control pills or the Big Mac?
Guess: Big Mac “He’s why they invented birth control”
Ciarra agrees WRONG! (Pill in 1960, Big Mac in ’68)
4 Betty to win: Complete the lyric:
Nobody does it better
Makes me feel bad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you…
“And now I need a rest”
Guess: “Baby, you’re the best”
Bob agrees WIN!
SECRET SQUARE GAME: Trip to the Virgin Islands (Eastern; 1wk.@ Bluebeard’s Castle in St. Thomas)
The return of a Hollywood Squares tradition. All the player has to do is pick the square and get the question right.
Cierra starts
1 Bronson: If you called the White House and asked to speak to President Reagan, what will the White House operator typically say:
- A: “He’s not available at the moment”
- B: “The President cannot take individual phone calls”
- C: “The President is in a meeting and will get back to you.”
Bronson: “He’s clearing brush in Santa Barbara”
Guess: C
Cierra disagrees, John doesn’t have the answer
LET’S FIND OUT: Bronson has a phone, Balki Bartokomous makes the call. All he gets is a busy signal. He gets through to the receptionist in D.C. She says “Not available at the moment.” O
2 John and his Ducks: According to the Glen Oak feed-in pet store the simplest way to tell the sex of a duck is to simply look at its what?
Guess: The feet, females have smaller feet (does his best Donald impression)
Bob disagrees X (The Tail feathers, males are curled, females are flat)
3 Lorenzo: According to a noted psychologist, what is the most overused “come-on” line for a man to use on a woman in the supermarket.
“Why don’t you take off your clothes” or “Nice melons”
Guess: Do you come here often?
Cierra disagrees O (Do you really eat that junk?)
4 Itzhak to block: True or false? According to Psychology Today, to most people music is even more thrilling than sex.
“And it pays better”
Guess: True
Bob agrees X
5 “The lovely Jackie Collins”: Who gained fame as the Little Tramp?
“Alexis Carrington”
Guess: Charlie Chaplin
Cierra agrees O
6 Emma to block: According to U.S. News and World Report, more millionaires live there than anywhere else. Where is that?
“The Colby Mansion”
Guess: California
Bob disagrees WRONG! (Florida has the highest concentration per household)
7 Emma to win: Your male boss keeps making passes at you and you’re not Betty White so you can’t enjoy it. You’re not interested, but you don’t want to jeopardize your job. According to Family Circle, what should you do?
“Run him down in the parking lot”
Guess: Politely say “Get off my back”
Cierra agrees WIN! (Tell them “You’re flattered”)
Secret Square: Mariette
ROUND 3
Bob starts
1 Bronson: You’re going on a cruise and your doctor prescribes a small thin adhesive patch to be placed behind your ear. Why would he do that?
“Because you have a slow leak”
Guess: Prevent seasickness
Bob agrees X “You bet your seasickness”
2 “The beautiful Mariette Hartley”: How did Dr. Joyce Brothers answer this question: “Why does my 18-month-old son cry every time my husband embraces me?”
“Because you’re supposed to put the kid down first.”
Guess: He thinks the mother’s gonna leave him
Cierra disagrees O (And she guessed right that it was jealousy)
3 John (without the ducks): According to the Wall Street Journal, why are some meter readers in Philadelphia now wearing bulletproof pants?
“Because the city’s full of trigger-happy midgets”
Guess: Keep them warmer in the winter
Bob disagrees X (Prevents dog bites)
4 Phylicia and Ahmad: Surveys show that most couples planning on having children (She’s due in December) would prefer to begin with a what?
Ahmad “Glass of white wine”
Guess: Girl for Phylicia (overruling Ahmad)
Cierra disagrees O
5 Itzhak to block: It’s a really wonderful thing to have one of these, Dr Hang S. Noir has one. Rockstar Prince has one. F. Murray Abraham has one and you don’t have one. What
“A silly name” (The horn goes off)
Guess: Oscar
Bob disagrees WRONG!
VERY INTERESTING, each player would get $100 for each symbol. Since Cierra didn’t get the circle, the game would be tied at $700. So, Cierra plays on
6 Itzhak to decide the match: Who supposedly said “Let them eat cake”?
Guess: Napoleon
Cierra agrees X (Marie Antoinette) BOB WINS WITH $800!
Now Bob reaches into the key bowl. It’s not for wife swapping, those keys will start these Cadillacs.
- ElDorado
- Seville
- Coupe DeVille
- Cimarron
- Sedan DeVille
Bob chooses the ElDorado ($30,000) and Jackie Collins as his lucky star.
1…2…3…
nope. So Bob will come back and play again. If he wins, he’ll get to try that key in another Caddy.
Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.
Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.
