Judy is sporting a white fur Tank top that may shed on Gene’s suit. Meanwhile, Richard, the mayor of “Carter Country” brought his fire helmet from an apple blossom festival.
Michael Mathison (Santa Anna, former stock broker now a solar consultant, working on projects with the Major) Forrisy Hogan (Harbor City, L.A., named after her Dad, Forris, fashion designer, earning degree in business administration, and studied in Paris)
Soft-spoken Michael needed to have his mouth put into shape. Better sharpen up for this game.
ROUND 1
Michael B: Gilbert said to the credit dentist, “Tell me Dr. Biteum. Why are your tooth transplants cheaper than anyone else’s?” And Dr. Biteum said “Because I don’t have to buy the teeth. I get them from my ________.”
Michael: My Grandfather
Pound
The Man Whowns the Horse Farm
patients
Comb
Pet Shark
Dog
Forrisy A: Weird Willie has a specially made mattress. Instead of it being stuffed with goosedown, Weird Willie’s mattress is stuffed with goose ________.
Forrisy: Pimples
Up
Quills
pimples
Goose bumps
Liver (Pate)
Liver
Before her reveal, Brett talks about putting on her makeup before the show. Charles teases the answer as “a word that went out with Martha Washington’s Sister Beverly” Later Brett will give a more “graphic explanation”
ROUND 2
Forrisy A: Lester said, “I think my carrier pigeon is afraid to fly. I just saw him ________.”
Forrisy: Squawking
Taking Dramamine
Driving
Hopping and Hopping
Tearing Up The Messages
Michael B: In a bar, a guy said with a leer “Let me show you my etchings, my dear.” She says, “Man, you are crude” Pushed his face in his food And his lighted cigar in his ________.
Michael: Ear
Beer
Rear
Beer
Shoe
Beer
Ear
Should’ve asked for a beer. Maybe he’ll have one while he’s on the other side of the set.
SUPER MATCH ADULT ________
Judy: Games Charles: -ry (No one in his family knows about the topic. HE! HE!) Joyce: Movie Forrisy: MOVIE
$100
SUPERVISION
$250
EDUCATION
$500
MOVIES
HEAD-TO-HEAD: Charles ________ DEVIL
Forrisy: Red Charles: Same as his shirt RED ($5,500)
Before Michael starts seeing red, let’s bring him back to play again.
GAME 2-ROUND 1
Michael A: Ted said, “My wife really knows how to get a rise out of me. She ties a hot air balloon to my ________.”
We suddenly see Richard without his helmet. Next shot, it’s on Gene’s head. Michael: My BVDs
Nose
Buns
Jockey Shorts
back side
Nose
Most exterior part, my nose
My mama said never to speak to a man in uniform.
Charles to Fireman Gene
We’re leaving to go put the firehouse out. Be back to burn more britches tomorrow.
O: Brenda (married to Louis, a dental technician) X: George Newark (Retired equipment salesman, father of three, grandfather of 10)
Round 1 Prize: Tappan Fridge/Freezer, Dishwasher and Microwave Range ($2,700+)
Brenda starts 1 Foster: You’re a 71-year-old man and find you’re not interested in sex as much as you used to be. Does your doctor have something for you that might help? “He’s gonna let me examine his nurse” “I’ve Tried everything” He was 68 Guess: No Brenda disagrees O (Hormone Injections, Foster’s been taking them for a year) 2 Paul: Rip Van Winkle slept for 20 years and missed a war. Which one? “The one between Tom Snyder and Rona Berrett” Guess: Revolutionary War George agrees X 3 George: In 1853, the United States made the historic Gadsden Purchase from Mexico. What exactly did we buy? “A Portrait in Velvet, George Washington Crossing the Rio Grande in a Row Boat” Guess: Puerto Rico Brenda agrees X (Part of Arizona and New Mexico) 4 John to win: According to the Bible, as a punishment, the Lord didn’t allow Moses to go there. Where? “Yankee Stadium” No Guess! George jumps in with Israel. O (The Promised Land, Canaan) 5 Elayne to win: According to research, if you eat in front of the television, are you probably going to eat more or less than if you ate away from the tube? “If you watched the news, you’d eat less because you’d lose your appetite” She also has a spiel about why she can’t eat Russian Dressing anymore. Guess: More Brenda disagrees X 6 Jack to win: One of your feet is a half size smaller than the other one. What’s probably wrong? Guess: “You’re in foot trouble.” George agrees O (Most people are like that) 7 Steve: In sports, he was known as Smokin’ Joe. Who was that? Guess: Joe DiMaggio Brenda agrees X (Joe Frazier) 8 Pearl for 5-Square Win: According to Dr. Joyce Brothers, should you give a bird as a gift to somebody? Guess: No George agrees WIN! (Along with any live animal)
Today’s Big Winner (Over $4,400): * Trip to Manzanillo, MX (1wk.@ Club Maeva Las Hadas; AeroMexico) * Flexatard Leotards * American Tourister Cross Country Luggage * Eumig Movie Camera/Projector * Trip to Merida, MX (@ Holiday Inn)
George starts 1 Paul: Pope John Paul is learning how to speak Japanese. Why? “So he can read the owners manual on his new Datsun.” Guess: Must be going to visit Japan. George agrees X 2 John: Can a priest adopt a baby? In an Irish brogue, John explains priests aren’t married. If they brought a baby into confession, he’d be in the poor box before you know it. Guess: Yes, John knows a Korean priest who adopted Brenda agrees O 3 Steve: According to the old adage, what will happen if you watch a pot? Guess: The pot never boils George agrees X 4 Foster to block: Normally, elephant’s ears are limp. When they stand straight out, you know he’s what? “Doing a commercial for E.F. Hutton” Guess: Ready to charge Brenda agrees O 5 George (instead of Elayne to block): All other things being equal, will you get drunker at the beach or on the ski slopes? “I’m usually the only guy on the beach wearing skis in a parka.” Guess: Beach George agrees O (Alcohol has a greater effect in high altitudes) 6 Pearl to win: He is the Lord’s messenger in both the Christian and Jewish religion. Who is he? She can’t come up with it. (Gabriel, Peter thought Zsa Zsa Gabor) New Question: Did most people really believe that the Earth was flat during Christopher Columbus’s time? Guess: Yes Brenda agrees X 7 Elayne (instead of Rose Marie):
True or False? They have now flavored fabric softeners. Guess: They have Coconut flavored, “When you’re in the office, your behind can feel like it’s in the Bahamas.” George agrees X 8 Rose Marie to block: True or false? According to the Los Angeles Times, one of the most popular names given to female babies in the year 1890 was Rose. Guess: True Brenda agrees O 9 Jack will decide this: According to the book “What to Do, When, Where and Why” when a man walks with two women, where should he be positioned? On the curbside, inside or in the middle? Guess: In the Middle (“In case they throw garbage out the window”) George Agrees WRONG! (Always Curbside) BRENDA WINS!
And the winner gets a shot at that $100,000 stash, including:
Coachmen 17.5′ Crestline Trailer
Domes America Geodisic House
$20,000 Cash
Brenda starts 1 Paul: According to superstition, it’s bad luck for three people to do this? “Share a lifesaver” Guess: Share a man Brenda disagrees X 2 Steve: He started his show business career as a female impersonator. The show was called “Every Sailor”. He is now a legend and a wonderful man and a big talent. Who is he? Guess: Milton Berle George Agrees O (Jimmy Cagney) 3 Jack: What’s the famous place in New York Who two main goals are peace and human dignity? “I Don’t even know Who Shot J.R.?” (Ask Steve) Guess: Salvation Army Brenda disagrees O (The U.N.) 4 George to block (By George, I think he’s got it): What event inspired Irving Berlin to write God Bless America? “When the IRS failed to audit his income tax return” Guess: The Armistice that ended World War I George agrees: It was the War itself, not the Armistice X 5: John to block: There’s a popular saying that says, if you just look after little things, what will the big things do? Guess (after the horn sounds): “The Big things take care of themselves” Brenda agrees O (Wins 3 to 2)
George’s total (including parting gifts): $3,780 Brenda’s total: $7,370
Closing: A quick run through all our stars-
Pearl Bailey’s performing in Chicago
George Gobel on “Harper Valley P.T.A”
Jack Jones on “The Jack Jones Show” or “The Palace”
Steve Kanaly “Dallas”
Rose Marie’s touring in a show “Four Girls Four”
John Byner “Bizarre”
Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.
Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures
O: Pam Molosca (Fairview Heights, OH, Flight Attendant) X: Ken Bosket (Detroit, MI, Attending Vegas Community College and Father of Three)
In this version, our players aren’t playing for cash. Each game is worth a prize. No Secret Square games The player who wins the most games wins the grand prize of the day AND moves on to a $100,000 tournament. More about that later.
ROUND 1 Prize: Broyhill French Provincial Bedroom Ensemble
Ken’s first 1 George: True or false? Sophia Loren is a wanted person in Italy. “Just what she needs another bust! Like a turtle needs a brassiere” Guess: True Ken Agrees X 2 Lee: According to the song, Hear the wind Blow dear, Hear the Wind Blow” where? Guess: Down in the Valley Pam disagrees X 3 Paul: In the bible, does the Lord ever say that he hates anybody? Guess: Yes Ken Agrees X (Two chances to win) 4 Linda, HUH? (Should’ve stuck with Bill to Block) Who said you’re never fully dressed without a smile? Guess: Will Rogers Pam Disagrees O 5 Jim for the Win: True or false? Does a religious group in the South Pacific that, believe it or not, praise everyday to Donald Duck. Well, Jim says he’s a Frisbee-terian, who worships Frisbees and believe that when you die, your soul is stuck on the roof. Guess: True Ken Disagrees WIN! (Scoreboard simply displays an X or O on their scoreboard when they win a round)
Round 2 Prize: Whirlpool Fridge, Dishwasher and Electric Range ($1,899)
For Today’s Big Winner: $4,400 Total * 7-Day Carnival Caribbean Cruise * Funky! Dresses * Trip to Miami (1wk. @ Newport) * Kenya 14k Gold Earrings, Ring and Tie Tack * Konica FS1 Single Reflex Camera
Pam to Start 1 Paul: We get it by a Himalayan goat and lots of people want to have it. What is it? “Twinkie Filling” Guess: Roquefort Dressing Pam Disagrees O (Cashmere) 2 George: True or false? There are now up to 50 parts of the body that can be replaced. “Don’t try to install them yourselves.” Guess: True Ken Agrees X 3 Jim: According to the book Lifespans, how long should a good guitar last within 10 years? Jim played guitar instead of football, and he can kick a guitar 60 yards Guess: As long as you do, about 100 years Pam Disagrees O (200 Years) 4 Lee to Block: According to Weight Watchers, a person’s middle years are from 35 to what? Guess: At least 50 Ken Agrees X 5 Linda: According to Weight Watchers, is it a good or bad idea to exercise in the nude? Guess: Good Idea Pam Agrees O 6 Ann to Block: What heavenly body does man know more about that any other? “Marilyn Monroe” Guess: The Sun Ken Disagrees X (The Earth) 7 David to block: True or false? Fish Burp “I’m thinking who the idiot was who found out about this? What an occupation” Guess: False, but they barf Pam Agrees WRONG (One in South America can burp loud enough to be heard a mile away) 8 David to Win: True or false There are exercises for you to do while you are on your death bed. Three, Swing a burping fish above you head, never close your eyes and move your lips to say “You’re all out of the will” Guess: True Ken Agrees WIN!
Round 3 Prize: Soundesign Disco Stereo
Ken Starts 1 George: Jogging has been found effective for many things. Has it been found effective in treating a hangover? George says he’s had hangovers you could frame. Guess: No Ken Agrees X 2 Lee: True or False: According to research at Yale, even just looking at food can make fat people fatter. “Looking at a donut makes it go from hand to thighs” Guess: True Pam Disagrees X 3 Wayland and Madame (“I’m gonna start looking at the hole in the donut”) True or false? A man in France recently ate an entire bicycle. “Now that’s what I call ruffage!” Guess: False Ken Agrees O 4 Bill: In 1947, they took away several big chunks of India and called them what? New Delhis, all over New York No Answer. Ken is offered to guess himself, but he declines for a new question. (Pakistan) B: You are two stories tall, weigh 20 tons, a six inch tooth, look like a huge ugly kangaroo with a great lashing tail, and loves meat for dinner. What do we call you? “Sounds like my mother-in-law” Guess: Dinosaur Pam Disagrees X (Two shots) 5 Paul to block: After doing this seven times, the Pope said enough for a while, what was the Pope doing? “Personally hearing a confession from Ann Margaret” On tour doing communions Ken disagrees O (Judges rule Paul was close enough to touring) 6 David who hold the win for both: According to Gallup, this is the one food teenagers hate more than any other food. Guess: Broccoli Pam Disagrees WIN! (Spinach)
Round 4 Prize: Apple II Computer ($1,195)
Pam’s turn Paul: Something really, really awful happened began July 1, 1863 and continued off and on for three days. It’s Not the David Letterman Show. (Heh-Heh-Heh, payback for how HS was canceled on NBC) Can’t think of anything before the buzzer sounds “Thank God” (It Was The Battle of Gettysburg)
We still have a computer to give away so we’ll go to another question. If Pam gets it, she ties the match. If not, Ken is the champ. Who wrote the classic WWII novel, the Naked and the Dead James Jones, Leon Uris or Norman Mailer? Guess: Jones Pam Agrees WRONG (Mailer)
Pam’s Total (with Parting Gifts): $1,650 Jim’s Total: Around $8,600
Jim will eventually return to play in the big tournament. Grand prize package totaling $100,000! Includes:
$20,000 Cash
Domes America Geodisic House
Coachmen 17.5 ft. Crestline Travel Trailer
Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.
Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.
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