Foster Brooks

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-February 1, 1981

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: Bonita Williams (Santa Ana, CA, originally from Nashville with Bahamian accent, former Navy Petty Officer, now a flight operator for major airline)
X: Calvin Rolling (Hanover, PA, high school guidance counselor, married to elem. teacher)

Round 1

Calvin Starts
1 Paul: In English, we know the three daughters of Zeus are Joy, Bloom and Brilliance. Together, they are known as the three what?
“Little Pigs”
Guess: The Three Muses
Calvin agrees O (Three Graces)
2 Marilyn and Billy: True or False? The man who wrote “Easter Parade” and “White Christmas” was Jewish.
Guess: True
Bonita agrees O (Irving Berlin)
3 Phyllis Diller to block: She’s wearing a choker, calling it a tiara worn low.
Question: Who’s the famous artist known for capturing the gay life in Paris?
Guess: Toulouse-Latrec
Calvin agrees X

Prize for Round 1: Chromcraft Dinette Set ($1,200+)

4 Garrett aka Chico Escuela: What does it mean when a baseball player fans?
Guess: Walks
Bonita agrees X (Strikes Out)
5 Robert: On Television, his buddies include Mr. Moose, Grandfather Clock and Bunny Rabbit. Who is it?
“Paul Lynde”
No Guess (Captain Kangaroo)
After Narcissus jilted Echo, who did he fall in love with?
Robert’s rusty in mythology, although he studied at Paloma College. Paloma is the goddess of fruit.
Calvin disagrees O
6 Tom to win: According to studies at Brown University, there are really only two odors that we consider good and clean. One is pine, what’s the other?
Tom: “A Danish”
Peter: “A Sweet Roll?”
Tom: “No, a Danish Flight Attendant”
“Has Paul Lynde been taken?”
Guess: Fresh Air
Bonita agrees X (Lemon)
7 Foster: How many days will uncooked poultry keep fresh?
“We’ll never know, because when we open the refrigerator, it flew away.”
Guess: 3 Days (Foster knows cooking)
Calvin agrees O (4 Days)
8 Elayne for 5-Square Win: According to the Cleveland Plane Dealer, out of every 10 women, how many are overweight?
“So hard to tell.” ” I guess you know you’re fat if your nightgown is pulling in CENSORED”
Guess: 6
Bonita disagrees WIN! (8 out of 10)

Round 2 Prize: Hamilton Charterole Grandfather Clock ($1,800+)

Today’s Big Winner:
* Trip to Kauai (1wk.@ Hanalai Bay, Airfare via Western)
* Botany 500 Men’s Wardrobe
* Skyway 8pc. Luggage
* Catalina His/Her Active Wear
* Fujica AX 35mm SLR Camera

Bonita starts
1 Paul: In his first term, Nixon was a minority president. What does that mean?
“He was Chinese”
Guess: He had the minority of votes and was still elected
Bonita agrees O (Less Than 50% of the Vote)
2 Tom: According to the L.A. Times, when travelling in the Arctic, eskimos usually stop every hour or so and do something. What do they do?
“Make Igloo”
Guess: They Eat
Calvin agrees O (Brew Tea)
3 Robert to win: The date, June 17th, 1972. The Place, Washington D.C.. You are there. What famous event is going on.
Guess: Kennedy took office
Bonita disagrees WIN! (Watergate Hotel was broken into)

Round 3 Prize: Admiral Fridge/Freezer, Gas Range and Dishwasher ($1,700+)

Calvin starts
1 Paul: If you have high blood pressure, there’s something that you’re probably going to have to learn to do without. What is it?
“Old Age”
Guess: Salt
Calvin agrees X
2 Phyllis Davis: According to Ask Beth (a column), if you think a guy has asked you out because you have large bust measurements, should you still go out with this fella?
Guess: “I would”
Bonita agrees (“Me Too” from Foster) O (It’s the only way to know)
3 Phyllis Diller: According to doctors, how long will the average facelift last before it starts to sag again?
“You’re looking at it” Phyllis had on and her own dog didn’t know her. That is, until he ate and threw up his dinner.
Guess: 5-10 years
Calvin agrees X
4 Marilyn and Billy to block: Back in the 60s, hitchhike, jerk and monkey were all what?
Marilyn says it’s before her time.
Guess: Dances
Bonita agrees O
5 Robert: One of the most famous quotes in history was when American soldiers said “Lafayette, We Are Here” Where were they?
“At the Kennedy Inauguration in 1972”
Guess: American Revolution
Calvin agrees O (Coming to the aid of France during WWI)
5 Garrett: What does it mean to talk turkey?
“Are you trying to be insulting?”
Guess:

Video cuts off here. If anyone knows about the rest of the episode, drop me a line.

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-1981?

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: Brenda (married to Louis, a dental technician)
X: George Newark (Retired equipment salesman, father of three, grandfather of 10)

Round 1 Prize: Tappan Fridge/Freezer, Dishwasher and Microwave Range ($2,700+)

Brenda starts
1 Foster: You’re a 71-year-old man and find you’re not interested in sex as much as you used to be. Does your doctor have something for you that might help?
“He’s gonna let me examine his nurse”
“I’ve Tried everything” He was 68
Guess: No
Brenda disagrees O (Hormone Injections, Foster’s been taking them for a year)
2 Paul: Rip Van Winkle slept for 20 years and missed a war. Which one?
“The one between Tom Snyder and Rona Berrett”
Guess: Revolutionary War
George agrees X
3 George: In 1853, the United States made the historic Gadsden Purchase from Mexico. What exactly did we buy?
“A Portrait in Velvet, George Washington Crossing the Rio Grande in a Row Boat”
Guess: Puerto Rico
Brenda agrees X (Part of Arizona and New Mexico)
4 John to win: According to the Bible, as a punishment, the Lord didn’t allow Moses to go there. Where?
“Yankee Stadium”
No Guess!
George jumps in with Israel. O (The Promised Land, Canaan)
5 Elayne to win: According to research, if you eat in front of the television, are you probably going to eat more or less than if you ate away from the tube?
“If you watched the news, you’d eat less because you’d lose your appetite” She also has a spiel about why she can’t eat Russian Dressing anymore.
Guess: More
Brenda disagrees X
6 Jack to win: One of your feet is a half size smaller than the other one. What’s probably wrong?
Guess: “You’re in foot trouble.”
George agrees O (Most people are like that)
7 Steve: In sports, he was known as Smokin’ Joe. Who was that?
Guess: Joe DiMaggio
Brenda agrees X (Joe Frazier)
8 Pearl for 5-Square Win: According to Dr. Joyce Brothers, should you give a bird as a gift to somebody?
Guess: No
George agrees WIN! (Along with any live animal)

Round 2 Prize: 2 Casablanca Ceiling Fans ($1,000+)

Today’s Big Winner (Over $4,400):
* Trip to Manzanillo, MX (1wk.@ Club Maeva Las Hadas; AeroMexico)
* Flexatard Leotards
* American Tourister Cross Country Luggage
* Eumig Movie Camera/Projector
* Trip to Merida, MX (@ Holiday Inn)

George starts
1 Paul: Pope John Paul is learning how to speak Japanese. Why?
“So he can read the owners manual on his new Datsun.”
Guess: Must be going to visit Japan.
George agrees X
2 John: Can a priest adopt a baby?
In an Irish brogue, John explains priests aren’t married. If they brought a baby into confession, he’d be in the poor box before you know it.
Guess: Yes, John knows a Korean priest who adopted
Brenda agrees O
3 Steve: According to the old adage, what will happen if you watch a pot?
Guess: The pot never boils
George agrees X
4 Foster to block: Normally, elephant’s ears are limp. When they stand straight out, you know he’s what?
“Doing a commercial for E.F. Hutton”
Guess: Ready to charge
Brenda agrees O
5 George (instead of Elayne to block): All other things being equal, will you get drunker at the beach or on the ski slopes?
“I’m usually the only guy on the beach wearing skis in a parka.”
Guess: Beach
George agrees O (Alcohol has a greater effect in high altitudes)
6 Pearl to win: He is the Lord’s messenger in both the Christian and Jewish religion. Who is he?
She can’t come up with it. (Gabriel, Peter thought Zsa Zsa Gabor)
New Question: Did most people really believe that the Earth was flat during Christopher Columbus’s time?
Guess: Yes
Brenda agrees X
7 Elayne (instead of Rose Marie):

True or False? They have now flavored fabric softeners.
Guess: They have Coconut flavored, “When you’re in the office, your behind can feel like it’s in the Bahamas.”
George agrees X
8 Rose Marie to block: True or false? According to the Los Angeles Times, one of the most popular names given to female babies in the year 1890 was Rose.
Guess: True
Brenda agrees O
9 Jack will decide this: According to the book “What to Do, When, Where and Why” when a man walks with two women, where should he be positioned? On the curbside, inside or in the middle?
Guess: In the Middle (“In case they throw garbage out the window”)
George Agrees WRONG! (Always Curbside)
BRENDA WINS!

Round 3 Prize: 2 Puch Pathfinder 10 spd. Bicycles W/Pelican Bike Trailers

And the winner gets a shot at that $100,000 stash, including:

  • Coachmen 17.5′ Crestline Trailer
  • Domes America Geodisic House
  • $20,000 Cash

Brenda starts
1 Paul: According to superstition, it’s bad luck for three people to do this?
“Share a lifesaver”
Guess: Share a man
Brenda disagrees X
2 Steve: He started his show business career as a female impersonator. The show was called “Every Sailor”. He is now a legend and a wonderful man and a big talent. Who is he?
Guess: Milton Berle
George Agrees O (Jimmy Cagney)
3 Jack: What’s the famous place in New York Who two main goals are peace and human dignity?
“I Don’t even know Who Shot J.R.?” (Ask Steve)
Guess: Salvation Army
Brenda disagrees O (The U.N.)
4 George to block (By George, I think he’s got it): What event inspired Irving Berlin to write God Bless America?
“When the IRS failed to audit his income tax return”
Guess: The Armistice that ended World War I
George agrees: It was the War itself, not the Armistice X
5: John to block: There’s a popular saying that says, if you just look after little things, what will the big things do?
Guess (after the horn sounds): “The Big things take care of themselves”
Brenda agrees O (Wins 3 to 2)

George’s total (including parting gifts): $3,780
Brenda’s total: $7,370

Closing: A quick run through all our stars-

  • Pearl Bailey’s performing in Chicago
  • George Gobel on “Harper Valley P.T.A”
  • Jack Jones on “The Jack Jones Show” or “The Palace”
  • Steve Kanaly “Dallas”
  • Rose Marie’s touring in a show “Four Girls Four”
  • John Byner “Bizarre”

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures