Ah, but Arlene all of those things I have done, none of them compares with working with you on What’s My Line? and the rest of our very charming panel.
What things?? We don’t know, Buzzr clipped the intro again.
FIRST GUEST: Rufus Harley (Philadelphia, PA)
He’s self-employed and deals with a service.
Soupy: With what you’re wearing, would that have to do with what you do? (Afro-centric outfit) It IS what he wears, but it’s not necessary $5 Meredith: Do you work for a profit-making organization? Forgot the self-employed bit, she gets a pass. Can your services be provided for both men and women? Yes Do you entertain people in any way? Yes Indoors more than outdoors? Both, though mostly indoors. Not important, though. Do people watch you? Yes You don’t touch people in any way? No means Yes Do you hold anything in your hand? Yes Can you perform on a nightclub stage? Yes When you have this thing in your hand, can you also move it away? Yes Are you a juggler? No $10 Gene: Does who he do involve music? Yes Is his instrument in the string family? No $15 Arlene: Is it a pipe? Hmmmm, yes Do you hold it in your mouth? Yes Something other than the flute? Yes Would knowing the instrument be essential? Yes “An instrument that we are not so accustomed to seeing in our orchestra?” Yes In the Kazoo Family? No $20 Soupy, going through all of what Arlene has found out: Are you a clarinet player? No $25 Meredith: The instrument longer than a whistle? Yes Do you play a recorder and cobras come up? No $30 Gene: An instrument that the Western World is familiar with? Yes 30 second warning Is it a recorder? No $35 Arlene with a final question: Does your costume bely the quality of the instrument, by that I mean is it anything like a bagpipe…
ARLENE DOES IT AGAIN! Yes, Rufus PLAYS BAGPIPES, Jazz bagpipe. He’s part of a four-piece combo and the American Federation of Musicians. Plus, he’s the only Left-Handed Bagpiper And of course, we have a performance.
SECOND GUEST: Bob Krugman (Chicago, IL)
He’s self-employed and deals with a product.
Arlene: Would I be interested in your product? Possibly Be interested for a man? No $5 Soupy: Would it be good for an animal? No $10 Meredith: Does your product come in contact with the body? Yes Is it other than clothing? Absolutely not (No Means NO this time) $15 Gene: Is it an expensive product?
Does it change the appearance of the individual involved? Hopefully In the cosmetic field? No $20 Arlene: Is it anything in the massage field? No $25 Soupy: Benefit from the body up? Sometimes “I’m beginning to understand you” Soupy Passes Meredith: When someone wears this product, can you see it? Yes it’s not undergarments Is it an accessory rather than a whole thing? No $30 Gene: Is it made of animal substances? Sometimes Can also be made out of plastics? In the broad sense A harness? No $35 Arlene: Would I be interested in buying for an animal? No $40 Soupy: Would a woman wear this more than a man? Definitely, Passes Again Meredith (who was thinking Strait Jacket at one point): is it a bikini bathing suit? No $45 Gene: Is it decorative? Yes Do you design the ones you make? Yes Is it made of fabrics? Yes Are they NOT utilitarian? Yes means NO! Game over
Arlene would’ve gotten it: Bob makes MATERNITY CLOTHES, owner and designer of Plus One. Or Plus One Etc. depending on how many children a mother has. Before this, he was a stage actor and rock singer.
MYSTERY GUEST
Wally figures it’s okay to cut the panel 30 seconds, since this one is so well known. (2 1/2 Minutes Total)
Meredith: Are you in the entertainment business? “You might say that” (Sounds like Paul Lynde) Gene: Are you primarily an actor? No Arlene: Are you in the theater? No Soupy: Are you known mostly for television? “Sort of” Meredith: Have you ever had your own television series? Yes Gene: Do you sing? “Sort of” (Deep-voiced) Arlene: Are you singing someplace around New York at the present time? Yes (About to burst) Soupy: Would this be in a nightclub? Yes and No Meredith: Are you also known for your recordings? Yes Gene guesses Mel Torme…RIGHT!
Mel was nervous after he did an interview with Patrick O’Neal. When O’Neal asked about lunch, Mel let him know off the record. Pat joked that he was on the panel. Soupy talks about a special Mel did with the Marty Page Group. Gene was amazed Mel could disguise his voice.
Closing: Looking back on the past week, Wally points out some great highlights. Soupy learning Yoga, Meredith’s father as a mystery guest and Arlene’s amazing skills. She doesn’t take all the credit for the work.
Host: Wally Bruner Announcer: Johnny Olson Celebrity Panel:
Soupy Sales
Meredith MacRae
Gene Rayburn
Arlene Francis
FIRST GUEST: Debbie Kath (Roseville, MN)
She deals with a service and is self-employed.
Soupy: Is it a service I might come to you for? Yes A service in some way or manner touch me? She says yes but after a conference No! $5
Meredith: In your service, do you instruct people? No $10
Gene: Is this a practical service? Yes Is it in the cultural field? No $15
Arlene: Is your service for human beings? Yes Could they ever come to you more than one at a time? Yes Do you work indoors? No $20
Soupy: Do you instruct in any way? Been there, done that! Do it have to do with sports? Yes Is it unusual for you compared to a man? Yes Is this a national sport, or seasonal like football or baseball? No $25
Meredith: Is it a team sport? No $30
Gene: “Do you put the shot?” No $35
Arlene: When you’re involved, are balls involved in some way? No $40
Soupy: Is this a sport where animals would be involved? No (Last Chance)
Meredith: Do you hold something or move something with your hands? Yes Are you involved with chess or bridge? Game Over
Debbie Kath is the youngest female hot air BALLOONIST in the world. And she does instruct, but it’s not her basic job. Ballooning is more about advertising and putting on a show. She can stay up around an hour “while my gas holds up.” (No Fart Jokes, please) All this started after writing a paper for 8th grade about “Stratospheric Research”. Busy for a 19 y.o., Debbie is also her hometown “Miss Roseville.” As for airplane, coming here was her first flight.
NEXT GUEST: Eddie Pulaski (“Fun City”, NY)
He’s self-employed and deals with a product.
Arlene: Is it a useful product? Yes A product one would find in a home? No
Soupy: A man would use rather than a woman? Yes If I wore it, would I look different? Yes Something that would approve my appearance from the waist up? Yes Do you have anything to do with beards? Yes Do you sell fake beards? YES (AND MUSTACHES)
Soupy’s FINALLY GOT ONE THIS WEEK! Mr. Pulaski been at this for a year. He gets many young men who can’t grow their own facial hair. Other clients work in banks or other places that don’t allow it. Eddie’s new career followed 30 years being a barber. Indeed, Gene was a customer and would’ve disqualified himself.
Onto the demonstration, Eddie puts a businessman type on Wally. “It’s a bit difficult to breathe.” Before going to Soupy and Gene, Eddie reveals his fake hair…including his head. He makes hairpieces, too! Soupy (Diabolical, Mitch Miller) and Gene (“Gilded The Lily”)
MYSTERY GUEST
Gene: Are you wearing a beard? Yes (still can’t tell man or woman) Arlene: Is it your own beard? Yes Soupy: Do you have a television show? No Meredith: Are you known primarily for motion pictures? No Gene: Are you an author? Yes, among other fields. Arlene: Are you also a musician? Not particularly Soupy: Are you also an actor? Yes Meredith: Have you ever appeared on Broadway? No Gene (who thought he had it): Are you inscrutable? Yes (both in bad Chinese impressions) Arlene: Have you done any records? Yes Soupy: Do you currently have a record that’s a best-seller? No Meredith: Did you ever have a partner? No, under a minute Gene: Do you have a mustache? Yes Arlene: The last time I saw you, were you not smooth-shaven? Yes Did you write “Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah” Yes IT’S ALLEN SHERMAN
Wally declares it’s time to take the fake mustaches off. Allen’s is real! A staff member tried to pull it off backstage. Among other things (writer for “I’ve Got a Secret”) he’s casting a comedy musical for Broadway. His last record “Togetherness” was released about a year prior. Wally recounts a story about Allen and his maid in California. He’d just been fired from “The Steve Allen Show” They were trying to decide who should file for unemployment pay. The other would’ve had to clean the house.
Closing: Big news, Arlene has been elected to the United States Hall of Fame in Washington. To add to that, her son Peter is in Phi Beta Kappa in college.
Host: Wally Bruner Announcer: Johnny Olson Celebrity Panel:
Soupy Sales
Meredith MacRae
Gene Rayburn
Arlene Francis
FIRST GUEST: Miss X
She’s self-employed and deals in a service. (Wally forgets to show the audience the answer
1 Gene: Is it a physical activity? Yes Do you wear a certain costume when you perform? Yes Is it in the general field of entertainment? Yes Is it something that might go on in New York? Yes Could I do it with you? Yes “Would you like to meet me after the show?” Yes (OH-OH!) Would it be a pleasurable experience? Yes “You do your show and I’ll do mine!” Would it be remunerative to you? Yes (There’s some compensation for her) Would it change my physical appearance? “It Could” but for the most part, No $5
2 Arlene: Is it a good idea to have music playing? Yes Does dancing come into it in anyway? Yes Are you a go-go dancer or belly dancer? THE SECOND ONE
And Miss X’s real name is…LITTLE EGYPT! The Little Egypt, great granddaughter of the original who performed at the Chicago World’s Fair in 1893. This Little Egypt has been performing since five, but in nightclubs for about 6 1/2 years. And it pays extremely well…SHOCKER! Wally decides to pay her well by awarding the entire $50.
She went out the wrong way. Should I go get her?
Gene
SECOND GUEST: The Rev. Dale Lend (former assistant pastor of St. Peter’s Lutheran Church)
While attending school for his Masters at New York Theological Seminary, he’s in an occupation. It’s salaried and deals with a service.
1 Arlene: Have anyone ever called you a “swinging minister”? Yes Are you interested in new music? Yes, but it might lead you on the wrong path. Wally lets it go. Since it ruined her plan, Arlene will pass. NOW it’s a No $5
2 Soupy: “You’re the guys who originated turtlenecks” Something concerned with entertainment? No $10
3 Meredith: Does it involve teaching? No $15
4 Gene: Is it a full-time job? Yes Are people’s lives benefited in any way? Perhaps (Let the laughter begin) Sex involved? Yes Families? Mmmm….No $20
5 Arlene: Do you move around from place to place? No $25
6 Soupy: Something that I might come to you? Yes If I had this problem, would I have a problem? Perhaps If I came to you over a period of time, would it change my outlook? The Rev. thinks so When a person finishes coming to you, are they liable not to bother with a particular vice? Gambling, drinking, wild wild women? Yes Do you deal with alcoholics? Sometimes, Soupy Passes
7 Meredith: Are you involved with gambling or card playing? No $30
8 Gene: Do you work with young people or teenagers? (Arlene: “Alcoholic teenagers”) No $35
9 Arlene: Does psychology have anything to do with you job? Psychology made fit in to any job, but overall in this case, No! $40
10 Soupy: Anything to do with Alcoholics Anonymous? No $45
11: Meredith: Do you come in contact physically? Game Over $50
The Rev. must confess: He’s a BARTENDER. He works at Mr. Lacy’s in NYC for the last seven months and graduated from the International Bartending School. No, Arlene it’s not a milk bar. And at the job, Dale’s Reverend Uniform stays at home. On Sunday, he preaches at various congregations as a fill-in. It’s a way to relate to people he wouldn’t meet at work.
MYSTERY GUEST
1 Meredith: Are you in the entertainment business? Yes (sounds like Donald Duck) 2 Gene: Are you an actor? Yes 3 Arlene: Are you also a singer? Yes 4 Soupy: Are you currently starring on your own television show? No 5 Meredith: Are you my father? YES, Gordon MacRae
Gordon’s been doing that “Donald” voice since Meredith’s been a baby. Now he’s doing it with her 2-month-old daughter, Amanda. He was hoping Meredith would catch on, since only Rich Little can do it better. (What about Clarence Nash?) The proud father dotes on his other daughter, Heather. She’s appearing in a movie and previous in a show called “Here’s Where I Belong” Truthfully, Gordon and the missus never gave advice about going into show business. He didn’t even know when Meredith got her first TV role in “My Three Sons”. The girls discovered it for themselves. Meredith said they’d preferred she’d become an English teacher.
Closing: Gene is a Yachtsman. Living in Long Island Sound, he was surrounded by boat races, but only got into it 3-4 years. Moving to Cape Cod, Gene bought a 13 ft. Fiberglas Catamaran and discovered the thrill of sailing against the elements.
He was in a yacht just the other day. He chased his girl around the deck for three hours.
Soupy
Gene gets more time with boats that he did with flying a plane.
The stalling ends so we could get to the real show: Little Egypt showing her stuff!
And I tell you, Arlene, it’s much better being here than Saigon.
Wally’s intro, with no context (Why’d you delete the panelists intros, Buzzr??!)
FIRST GUEST: Esteene Del Rio (Chicago, IL)
Some strong whistling as Esteene signed in. She’s self-employed and deals with a product.
Gene: Does what you do bely your physical appearance? Yes Would I come to you? Yes Would it make me happy? Yes Would it cost me a great deal of money? No $5
Arlene: Is the product edible or coatable? Neither $10
Soupy: Would it help my home? We don’t know what kind of problems Soupy has in his home, but generally No $15
Meredith: Does it come in contact with the body? Yes Is it other than clothing? Yes means No $20
Gene: Are there animals other than humans that use the product? Yes “I concluded that” Household pets Yes Canine family? Yes Is it edible? No $25
Arlene: Would the canine wear it? Yes Wear it on the head or neck? Sometimes Does it cover a certain area? Yes Do you make raincoats, fur coats or dresses? ALL OF IT
She designs fashions for dogs, including mini skirts. Selling to department stores, grooming shops out of cloth and paper and. Prices go up to $500, the lowest Wally said was 298. ($298 or $2.98?) Time for a fashion show!
Shelly and Gigi are wearing psychedelic Lame line, changing full-length gown and a mini. Gene decides to help the human model transform. In her hand is Celito, both wearing paper embossed fabric. It’s totally disposable! (The other was cleanable.)
After the break, Wally offers Arlene a fitting for that special outfit; Arlene was more into the dog’s hair
SECOND GUEST: Bernice Gera (Indiana, PA)
She’s self-employed and deals with a service.
Soupy: Is it a service I might come to you for? Perhaps A service I’d come to you rather than you come to me? A reluctant Yes A service that would help physically? It might Would it make my house a better house? Definitely No $5
Meredith: Do you wear a uniform? Yes Is what you do instructive? To a degree, Yes Do you work indoors more than outdoors? Outdoors, So No $10
Gene: He gathers it’s more utilitarian than aesthetic? Yes Anything to do with food? No $15
Arlene: Can we rule out sports? No $20
Soupy: So it can be sports? Yes Is it a sport? Yes Is it a sports with both men and women? Wally’s explanation flew over my head like it did Soupy’s Bottom Line: No $25
Meredith with another wild guess: Are you a girl’s gymnastics instructor? Not this time $30
Gene: The people that come to you benefit physically? Debatable, but Wally makes it No $35
Arlene: Is it a team sport? Yes A sport indulged by men a great deal? Yes Even more than women? Yes Usually a man’s job? Yes If you’re not a instructor, are you a lady umpire? YES
Mrs. Gera work for semi-pro with police departments. She next wants to get into real minor league baseball. And she used to play, hitting 350 footers! You could see her in live demonstrations around NYC with real Major Players such as Roger Maris. Problems in regular stadiums include lack of a dressing room. Soupy says she’d be a good cook because she can dust off the plates! Anyway, Bernice is mostly a base umpire so she doesn’t wear the chest protector. A new one is being designed for her. Mrs. Gera leaves us with her “YOU’RE OUT!”
MYSTERY GUEST
Arlene: Does one find you in the entertainment pages A Deep Yes Soupy: Associated with Television rather than Broadway? High Yes Meredith: Are you a comedienne? yes Gene: Are you appearing on Broadway? No Arlene: Do you appear on your own show? Teary No Soupy; Is there just one of you? Now Yes Meredith: Have you been associated with another person? No Gene: Are you Joan Rivers? YES
And she was afraid they’d never figure her out. Gene has worked with her so often, he’s recognized her voice, despite all her attempts. Exclusively here on What’s My Line?, Joan announces her upcoming talk show. She promises it won’t compete with this show. Tapings start in two weeks. Being on the Tonight Show has been her big career boost. From seven bucks a week working office temp, her salary has skyrocketed…up to $12 a week. Joan also mentions the “Upstairs at the Downstairs” club where she works with her husband. They also have a seven-month-old to watch. Wally gets Joan to talk about writing her material. Soupy mentions how few women are out there in comedy. “Don’t get me started” “Show them your Mickey Mouse (watch) ” “I’ve gotta give it more cheese”.
Joan: Show them your Mickey Mouse (watch) Soupy: I’ve Gotta give it more cheese
Closing: Soupy’s history with throwing pies. It started in Cleveland in 1950, and in those days, he’d whip up eggs or cream. One director gained lots of weight from eating offset. Many stars have gotten “creamed” by Soupy including Frank Sintara, Burt Lancaster, Tony Curtis, Shirley Maclaine and Jimmy Durante. There’s also a plug for his 25th High School reunion at West Virginia.
Host: Wally Bruner Announcer: Johnny Olson Celebrity Panel:
Soupy Sales
Shari Lewis (Lamb Chop) “She’ll be working all our heads” as Soupy
Bert Convy (Shoot Anything With Hair That Moves)
Arlene Francis, who wishes Wally a Happy New Year!
FIRST GUEST, but first the blindfolds. Mr. X X
I’ll just say Mr. X X came through the audience and went past the panel coming to the set. Wally says he’s in the entertainment business.
Bert: We’d recognize you on sight, wouldn’t we?
Have you been in the news recently? Perhaps, but also at any time. Is what you do significant to us? We’ll say it’s to find out who you are AND what you do Do you do this in front of large audiences? Yes In Television? Again, COULD BE In the broadest sense, is this a physical act? Yes Do you wear a costume? Yes, and you recognize him pretty quickly. Does it have to do with the circus? Not directly, but still Yes Would you be a clown? Absolutely Not $5
Arlene: Is what you’re wearing like an animal skin? Yessss! Are you inside of something in the shape of an animal? Yes Do I need to find out what kind of animal? More of a general area what he does (“What is he, like Jonah?”) Do you clean up (RE-DO) or destroy anything? You’re close, but Wally’s ending this game already.
Mr. X X is Stunt Man Janos Prohaska, a CREATOR OF MOVIE MONSTERS, and who came in dressed as an extra from “Planet of the Apes”. Prohaska just happened to be Soupy’s double for a movie. He’s the chief monster man in Hollywood for a long time making chimpanzees. Oh, and here’s another of Janos’s creations…a ROCK MONSTER. “Thank you, Johnny Olson”. Other costumes are brought out, all made by Janos. They decide to made a bird out of Bert, putting a Coo-Coo Bird costume on his head.
SECOND GUEST: Stella Owen (Swansee, Wales)
Stella is the official national hostess of Wales and is playing a role when Charles is made Prince of Wales. What we’re talking about is a day job, salaried and dealing with a service.
Soupy: Do you do it outside? (The job) Sometimes I mean, an outside object, but you can do it inside? Yes Done on certain farms? No $5
Shari: Would I come to you? Yes Would you touch me in any way? Yes, but not necessarily. Would it enhance me physically? Eventually In a form of something you’d say to me? It would, but it’s not a basic part, so No $10
Bert: Would anything be exchanged? No $15
Arlene: Anything to do with physical exercise? Yes Do you instruct? Yes, and Arlene figures out the rest. Stella TEACHES PHYSICAL EDUCATION
It’s at a Junior/Senior High School and also teaches dancing and skin diving. Currently touring the U.S., she’s inviting guests for the future king’s investiture. Arlene is expecting Mr. Burton to be there (Actor Richard Burton, I presume). Besides her beauty, Stella’s position as Hostess come from her knowledge of Welsh accents and affairs. Not to mention being educated and speaking abilities. She has a doll dressed as Charles will be for the big event; robe, crown, silver sword and all. Also shown is a replica of the crown shown identical size. I’m not going to try to spell out her translation of “What’s My Line” in Welsh.
MYSTERY GUEST
Arlene: Known primarily for work in motion pictures? No (Sounds weak) Soupy: Primarily for Television? No Shari: Are you a boy or a girl? (Doesn’t count) Are you currently appearing in this here town? Yes Bert: Are you in theater? Yes Arlene: Play in Broadway? Yes Soupy: Is it a musical? No Shari: Is it a play that originated in another country? No Bert: Is it a comedy? No Arlene: Is it a play that received enormous acclaim and was tried out in another state? Pause, “Did someone leave the stage” Not in another state Soupy (with 30 seconds): Is it Donald Pleasance? NO! Shari: Do you have laryngitis? No, but you will in two minutes. Are you in a play with a small cast? No Bert: It has to be James Earl Jones? YES!
Arlene calls out his answer that the play “The Great White Hope” DID open first in Washington. D.C. But D.C. is not a stage. With that out of the way, she remembers to praise Jones for his work. He recounts how the play was supposed to just be at the Arena Theatre and never expected to come to New York. Especially hard with such an enormous cast as they were talking about.
HONEST ANSWERS
For Bert: “Where do you buy those beautiful clothes?” Answer: He makes them himself! No wait…he had a tailor make the suit he’s wearing. The shirt was bought here in New York, imported from England. It’s bright yellow to match the tie. (Close Up) Not too expensive actually.
For Soupy: “How did you get to be coach of the Harlem Globetrotters?” Answer: They needed help. Wally says it was between him and Vince Lombardi, but Soupy says it was Guy Lombardi. The team is a bunch of great clowns, from one to another.
And as the credits roll, Janos and Johnny O. invade the panel in full costume.
Host: Wally Bruner Announcer: Johnny Olson Celebrity Panel:
Nipsey Russell
Joanna Barnes
Bert Convy
Arlene Francis
FIRST GUEST: Nancy Moritz (Yonkers, NY)
She’s salaried and deals with a service.
Bert: Could I avail myself in this service? Yes How about Arlene? Yes Do the people come to you? Yes Do you wear something else? Yes, most of the time Is it a uniform? Yes Is it an essential service? Yes Is it in the health field? No $5
Arlene: Yonkers had Arlene thinking the Chamber of Commerce, is it a non-profit? Yes Branch of the government? No $10
Nipsey: It has nothing to do with health? Yes, it doesn’t Anything to do with children? Yes An institution with the education of children? In a sense Do you deal with children and parents? Yes Do it have to do with orphans? Sometimes, but No $15
Joanna: Anything to do with bringing kids and adults together? Yes Anything to do with foster homes and adoptions? Yes, but it’s one of the extra services. Do you work indoors? Yes Anything to do with the law? No $20 (30 seconds left)
Bert after shifting through all the possibilities he was wrong about PASSES.
Arlene: Anything to do with the Lord? Yes Are you a minister of some kind? Yes, but it’s not enough (Wally reminds the panel she wears a uniform) Is she a nun or sister? No Game Over
Our guest is Capt. Nancy Moritz of THE SALVATION ARMY. And guess What? Arlene is an honorary Colonel, of the “best army in the world”. At the time, there were over 300,000 people in America and 2 million around the world! Let’s not forget the Salvation Army Christmas Band! Nancy says it’s not a requirement, but it’s about the joy of singing for the Lord. She plays coronet and tambourine. Sometimes piano, too, rough playing in December. Back to tambourine, we see sheet music written for the instrument. It’s in shapes looking straight out of geometry. All instructions for timing and choreography. It’s too confusing, we need a demonstration. Three tambourine dancers from the Salvation Army School of Officer Training in the Bronx.
Cadet Eileen Smith
Cadet Betty Jones
Cadet Joan Burke
After performing The March Parade by the New York Staff Band of the Salvation Army, it’s the panel’s turn. Three symbols are shown with numbers indicting the rhythm. Easy to explain, hard to show here, but the panel gets it.
SECOND GUEST: Sheldon Goldstein (Norwich, NY)
He’s self-employed and deals with a product.
Nipsey: Would the product be contrary to something that your appearance indicates? Wally gets it, Sheldon’s appearance is not a giveaway to his product. You don’t sell razor blades, do you? Since Nipsey agrees he meant it, No $5
Joanna: Does it have any electricity? No $10
Bert: Would we find it in our home? Yes Would it be mainly found in one room in the house? Yes Usually on the ground floor? Yes A room with an oven? Yes Could you hold it in your hand? Yes (Wally makes a fish face) If you held it in your hand, would it be functional? (The audience can’t hold back snickers) Yes Anything to do with the preparing of food? Yes Is it an implement? Oh a utensil, No $15
Arlene: Something put in the mouth? Yes Is it a “Food substance” itself? Yes Is it something you’d have for lunch? Yes Is it an accessory to the meal, instead of the main course? Yes Does it grow in the ground? Yes Does it have a distinctive odor? Yes (There goes the audience) In the vegetable family? Yes (15 second) Garlic, Onion or Pickle? No, No, No $20
Nipsey: Is it a seasoning or garnishment? No, expect in one case. And in this case, GAME OVER
It’s not radishes or ketchup, either. It’s SAUERKRAUT! Sheldon has his own company, “Ready Pac Foods” in Norwich. At the time, they were making 40 million pounds a year!
MYSTERY GUEST
Joanna: Are you a motion picture performer, predominately? No Bert almost wants to make a guess “It couldn’t be!”: You’re on the stage primarily? Yes Bert’s guess: Eileen Heckhart WRONG Arlene think she knows it, too: Are you currently appearing in a Broadway play with a small cast and is a big hit? Yes Arlene’s guess: Maureen…Wally finishes it, STAPLETON
And she was so afraid she wouldn’t be recognized, she would’ve signed in as Marlene Dietrich! Arlene says Maureen didn’t disguise her voice, but she says otherwise. Anyway, our guest is appearing in the play “Plaza Suite”, really three one act plays. Joanna mentions Maureen would soon appear in a movie, but she hates flying. She’s booked a train instead, too bad the 20th Century to Chicago was closed by this time. Wally suggest a freight instead! The film was “Airport” adapted from the book which she didn’t read. Maureen is playing Van Heflin’s wife. Afterwards, you would expect to see her return for the theatre version. The irony is not lost on Arlene.
HONEST ANSWERS
For Bert (From Helen O’Donnell, NYC): Do you have any children? Answer: Yes, Three Children. Ages 30, 24 and one’s about to graduate from college.
Arlene butted in. It’s 8 years, 3 years and 14 months. For Arlene (Mrs. T.H. Moore, Gainesville, FL): Which do you prefer: Television or legitimate stage and why? Answer: Devoted to television, it’s been very, very, good to her. Any actress prefers the stage for the excitement of playing to an audience. Overall, she likes them both.
Arlene: Might I possibly have this product? You Could Used by both sexes? Yes Does it come in contact with the person? No $5
Soupy: Found in the home? Yes Found in one room more than another? Probably, but Wally calls it a No $10
Anita: Could I hold it in my hand? Yes Comes in contact with other places beside the hand? No $15
Bert: Is this product functional? “It Lives” Bert heard it, but Francis and Wally deny it.
Go on, you big stoop!
Does it do something? Yes Does it perform a task for the home? Not necessarily $20
Arlene: Is this product is or has every been alive? Yes In the animal family? Yes Is it a pet? “It Can Be” Is it a Bird? Yes Is it a Canary or Parakeet? (There’s a difference) Canary Does it talk? No $25
Soupy: “He gains 300 pounds and hollers CHEEP?” Not a question Do you train canaries? Yes
“They kamikaze canaries. They throw themselves in cat’s mouths?”
Train them to sing? YES
Our bird expert has brought a quartet of his class of 60! Yes! 60! Johnny O. brings them out, after they’ve been flying around the dressing room. Wally says a cat stood by in case they got rowdy. Francis has no problem living with ’em all By listening to what the mic was picking up, they are have bass voices. Wally needs to bring them closer. All you can do is give them time to work out their stage fright. In a contest, birds get up to a half a hour to perform!
Our birds have gotten a little better. In other knowledge, Francis uses a graduate canary to train students. But with only a little taste, another group of birds serenade us. (The Panel)
SECOND GUEST: Dianna Engel (New York City)
She’s salaried and deals with a service.
Soupy: Would I come to you? Yes (Bert: Can I come with you?)
Are you wearing something other than what you’re wearing? (Dianna has a typical 60s floral dress) No $5
Anita: Would I use it too? Yes Would I enjoy it as much as Soupy? Aside from some side benefits, Yes Do you touch people? No $10
I’m so sorry to hear that?
Bert
Would you say this service would make me feel better? No therapeutic benefit but Yes Would I need an appointment? No $15
Arlene: Are you employed with others in the same line? Yes
A place where one might wants some relaxation? Dianna says Yes but Wally doesn’t think so. Arlene’s getting miffed, so it’s a Yes Do they serve anything to eat or drink? A definite No $20
Soupy: Is there an office? Yes Do you do any paperwork? Yes Do people come that have a particular problem involving paperwork? Dianna was unsure, but time’s up anyway
Arlene guesses it’s a cashier. Soupy guesses a hostess on a patrol wagon. Both wrong! She’s a STOCKBROKER. Her company is Kern Securities. How did a nice girl like you get in a business like this? She just started investing, got good and decided to spread the knowledge. And the men don’t see to mind if you earn their respect. Soupy and Bert are in for sure.
MYSTERY GUEST
The guest welcomes us in a voice sounding like Julia Child.
“It’s one of my mother’s favorite shows and one of the birds is loose backstage.
Bert: Are you primarily known for television? Yes, giggling with excitement Arlene: Do you have your own series? Yes Soupy: A nighttime show? No Anita: Afternoon talk show? No Bert: Game Show? Yes Arlene: Are you the moderator? “Yes, and I’m so beautiful”
Soupy: GENE RAYBURN, everyone knew it.
Gene says he’s done plenty of voices with his wife…
IT WASN’T A JOKE, A BIRD IS LOOSE!
Anyway, Mrs. Rayburn says Gene has a certain tone in his voice. The only option was Falsetto. The entire panel has been on “The Match Game”. Along with all those game shows and #1 DJ in New York, what’s left? Two Things: Create a starring role in Broadway and movie. After that, he’ll quit! ANYTHING BUT THAT! Reminisicing about past What’s My Line appearances, there was the time Gene milked a cow with the boy from Illinois. One of the most popular things fans talk about. Soupy says the cow should’ve gotten kid gloves, Gene’s got the coldest hands in the business. Cold Hands, Warm Personality!
Honest Answers:
Marsha Robbins (New Rochelle) for Soupy: “Do you really wear a Mickey Mouse watch?” Answer: Yes, and we get the closeup to prove it. When it slows down, he feeds it cheese
For Bert: “What was your occupation before you became an actor?” Answer: Played in the Philadelphia Phillies farm system
Arlene: Do you have any dogs? Answer: Not currently, but there used to be Otto Von Bismarck (Dacushand), Sheep dog, Scottie, Russian Wolfhound.
Wait, what about the canary! He flew to the top of the lights and finally began to sing. Don’t call the Humane Society, the bird’s back in safe hands.
Arlene: Work for a profit-making organization? Yes Work indoors? Usually Do people come to you for your service? They can Available to both men and women? Yes Regular hours, 9 to 5? It could be, but not too important Do you move around in your job? Yes Are you in a form of vehicle? No $5
Soupy: Do you wear a uniform, other than street clothes? Yes Is it for decoration or keeping from getting messed up? Ah, not a yes or no question. “I just like to get a right answer” Is there a product involved? No $10
Meredith: Would I come out with a degree, are you instructing me? One question at a time: The Instructing one Yes What about that degree, like judo for example? No $15
Gene: Is the uniform all white? No $20
Arlene: This instruction useful? Yes Is it athletic? In a broad sense, Yes Do you touch a person in any way? In this case, No $25
Soupy: You would never come to my house for this service? Perle doesn’t know, but more likely for a handsome gentleman like you Would it make me physically better? Yes A type of exercise? Could be Would it help me from the waist up? Yes, the whole body (“I don’t know what it is, but I need it”) Would I use it to lose weight? It might, Pass
Meredith: Would it take place in a gymnasium? It could Teach/instruct a personal fitness class? No $30
Gene: Could the panel come as a group and work all at once? Yes Do you ever wear a tutu? No $35 (You’ve never seen Gene in a tutu and you never will)
Arlene (who’s got a gleam in her eye): Do you ever work on or near water? No $40 (Down to 30 seconds)
Soupy: Do you come in contact with the body? Yes Are you a masseuse? No, Wally gives it up here
Meredith guesses wrong with fencing instructor. Perle is a YOGA INSTRUCTOR. (She did a demonstration, but it was clipped off by Buzzr)
SECOND GUEST: Henry Parcell (Manawon, NJ, near the shore in Central NJ)
He’s salaried and deals in a product
Soupy: Would I come to you? Possibly As opposed to coming to my house? Yes, way to sneak two questions in and stay in control. Would I feel better? No $5
Meredith: Used by both men and women? Yes Does it come in contact with the body? Yes Above the waist? No $10
Gene: Would it increase my physical well-being in any way? (uproar of laughter) No $15
Arlene: Product for anything other than the human race? No $20
Soupy: Stuck on not helping Gene, something I would use in the house? Yes In one particular room or floor? No $25
Meredith: Is one is able to wear this product? Yes Is it an undergarment? Yes, generally Is it a girdle? No $30
Gene: Must be something women wear more than men? NO $35
Arlene: Breaking down who and what can wear it. Do we rule out the Animal Kingdom? Yes Also from the waist up? Still No $40
Soupy: Something to help me walk or dance better? No $45
Meredith: Worn more by children? Yes, wants to pass to Arlene, but Gene’s in the way He blurts out “It’s Diapers” And Henry SELLS THEM.
Mr. Parcell works for the National Account Executive for Chicopee Mills Incorporated, a division of Johnson & Johnson.. All kinds of diapers, as long as they’re white. Soupy has a new slogan “We never mangle your baby’s triangles”
MYSTERY GUEST:
Meredith: Are you in the entertainment field? Yes (sounds of country bumpkin with a hiccup) Gene: Are you currently in New York? Yes Arlene: Are you playing in a Broadway play? Yes Soupy: Is there just one of you? Yes Meredith: Are you known for comedy as opposed to drama? No Gene: In your current appearance, do you sing? Yes Arlene: Is your wife in the show with you? No Soupy: Is there another male as your co-star? No Meredith with a guess: Joel Grey…RIGHT!
From one hit play to another “Cabaret” to George M”, it’s been a good year. Grey’s been in the business for 25 years, since age 11.
Closing: A chat with Meredith after figuring out who the mystery guest was. This was her first time on a game show panel. Meredith has also recorded her first record with her “Petticoat Junction” sisters along with solo records and live performances. It all started with “My Three Sons”, then a soap opera before “Petticoat” now in her third year. And it’s only her fifth year in show business.
Mr. Francis has had a lot of careers before today: Chef, Hairdresser, Drummer. Today, he’s dealing with a product and salaried.
Arlene: We’re not related, are me? No, Just Checking A product I might use? Yes, men too! I can hold it in my hand? No $5
Gene: Does it come in contact with the body? Yes, but not beyond the hand so No $10
Joyce: When used, do you move it around? In a loose way Large enough to be taller than a person? Sometimes Large enough for someone to get into? No $15
Jack: Is the product mobile? Wally asks again, does he mean place to place? Yes It’s possible Outdoors instead of indoors? No $20
Arlene: Found in a home? Possibly, but not likely $25
Gene: Anything therapeutic? No $30
Joyce: Used in the World of Sports? No $35
Jack: Sold to the consumer market? In a sense Would I have to come to you? Yes Do you demonstrate the product? Possibly but No $35
Clue: Paul works in Paradise Island in the Bahamas.
Arlene (Ha, Ha, Ha!): Does it have to do with gambling? Yes Do it have to do with the tables? No $45
Gene: By table, does that include roulette? Yes (Arlene goes Oh!) Gene: Do it have to do with the ocean? The Last No
Arlene wants a guess: SLOT MACHINES! Again, Arlene is too little, too late. Paul specifically repairs them at the Paradise Island Casino in the Bahamas. He originally came to the island as a croupier, then took a six-week course in Chicago, before taking the job. Then the important question: Can you change the odds? Yes! Joyce asks how often the Big Jackpots come along. Well, there’s no rhyme or reason. It depends on the number of symbols on each machine. Jack thinks it’s set by the owners! Wally tries to equate it to how many ways a toothpick fall. In a 24-hour span, Paul figures you’ll lose about 20ยข on every dollar. Some machines can range from $500-$1,000. Back-to-Back Jackpots have happened.
SECOND GUEST: Alice Schiller (Hollywood, CA)
She’s self-employed and deals with a service.
Gene: Do both men and women use this service? No $5
Joyce: Performed for animals? No $10
Jack: Service confined to male? No $15
Arlene: “What else is there?” Women use it? Yes Any relation to the entertainment world? Yes For women in the entertainment world? Yes Either do something for someone or how to someone? Yes Show them how to do it? Yes Do anything with the way they look? In the sense, but it’s not the basic part Do you operate something? Alice said yes, but when indicating a product, Wally says No $20
Gene: Is this a physical thing? Yes Would they get a little “dewy”? What he means is perspiring. Yes Would they eventually do it in front of a movie camera? Yes Anything to do with losing weight? No $25
Joyce: Do it have to do with movement? Yes In walking or exercise? No $30
Jack: Looking for a specific area, is it part of the water? No $35
Arlene, The Art of Self-Defense? No $40
Gene (who Wally thought would get it in the first try): Do it have to do with love making? No $45
Joyce: Do you touch the person in any way? Takes a second before…The Last No
Jack has a thought, does it help women with a relationship? No! Gene is off with stunt driving. Alice TEACHES STRIP TEASE DANCING. Dr. Joyce is curious how Alice can teach that without movement. One black mark for Wally. Mrs. Schiller is the “Dean” of Pink Pussycat College Dancing in Hollywood, California. Requirements include being over 21, fine moral character, and be very serious about strip tease. And, of course, a voluptuous body. At graduation, instead of a degree, they get a stripper’s kit and a T-Shirt. Inscribed is the slogan “The Navel Academy of the West”. Dr. Joyce asks if they take the shirts on or off at graduation. The answer “Both”. For the lady panelists, the kit for one and the shirt for the other.
MYSTERY GUEST:
A great applause
Dr. Joyce: Would I know you from the movies? Perhaps
Jack: Do you presently have a TV series? No
Arlene: Are you known for TV apperances? Yes
Gene: Have you ever appeared in Broadway? Stumbles out a “Yes, ever” (Not his primary fame)
Joyce: Are you a singer? Yes
Jack: Have you ever done a Disney film? Yes
Arlene: Are you appearing presently at a hotel/club in NY? Almost (to clarify, it will open soon)
Gene: Do you have a current hit record? No, I wish I did (15 seconds left)
Joyce: Is the Disney picture a recent one? Fairly
Jack: Are you that Big, Tall, Handsome, Smashing Baritone John Davidson? YES
Backstage, John told Wally that Jack Cassidy was his idol and kinda expected “Ol’ Jack” would catch me. That’s “Ol” no “Old”, it’s a term of endearment. John was concerned about sitting down and reading the requirements: “Admission requirements, Over 21, High Moral Character, voluptuous body.” Dr. Joyce will give him the Rhinestone from the Stripper’s Kit for his navel. Psychology of inhibitions, controlling the structural components of the anatomy. Anyway, John is saddened by the end of “Maggie Smith” on Broadway, starring Cassidy. And that night club that John’s is almost performing at the Diversion Room (open now on airdate). Live performances are better than taped for John.
gamespeopleplayed 
