Alan Alda

WHAT’S MY LINE?-TAPED JULY 23, 1968

gamespeopleplayed May 27, 2023 No Comments

This group will attempt to figure out what job (or line) our contestants are. Each will go one at a time, only asking yes or no questions. If the answer’s Yes, they can continue asking. If they get a “No”, the contestant gets $5 and control goes to the next panelist. Guessing continues until:

• A panelist guesses correctly
• The panel gets 10 “No” answers
• The host says “Times Up”

FIRST GUEST: Lynne Jordan (Orlando, FL)

It’s a part-time job between majoring law at Rollins College, but she’s salaried and working in services.

Alan: Do you perform services indoors?

No $5

Arlene: On or near water?

Yes

Are you wearing a bathing suit?

Yes

Anything instructive?

No $10

Soupy: Something performing wise?

Yes

Perform in underwater?

No $15

Joanna: Any other article you use?

Yes

Any sporting goods?

No $20

Alan: Are you supported on top of the water?

No $25

Arlene: Is there an animal associated with what you do?

Yes

Do you ride some animal in the water?

Yes

Do you dive off with an animal?

Yes

Is it a Horse?

Dives 40 feet into tank on Horseback

Soupy says you’d have to be THAT HIGH to do something like that.  Lynne climbs the ladder while the horse gets to ride an elevator, FIVE SHOWS A DAY. Her sister used to do another water act, now she’s doing this in the summer.  Law school comes in the winter.  We go to the film of Lynne in action at the Steel Pier.  Amazing, she never falls off, even in just 10 feet deep.  The horse clearly likes it, too.  He even smiles right for the camera.  A new horse for every performance while the others get the royal treatment.  This act requires special training for the hoofed beasts.  Trainers have to use a long leaf rope by the neck to bring them up.  Very rarely do any of them chicken out. 

Arlene must’ve been on a good run this week. (She is the veteran, after all) Let’s see what she and the rest of the panel can do.

SECOND GUEST: Tim Slatery (Hyde Park, NY)

He’s salaried and deals with a service.

Arlene: Requires any physical dexterity?

No $5

Soupy: Product found in the home?

Yes, Hopefully

Is it wearable rather than eatable?

No, Soupy thought maybe it was chocolate-covered suspenders. $10

Joanna: Is the product non-consumable or not used up? A chair as against a candy bar.

In the normal sense, it’s a non-qualified No $15

Alan: Generally, in one part of the house than another?

No $20

Arlene: Does it come in contact with the person using it?

Yes

Do you have to touch it in some way?

Yes

Worn on the body?

No $25

Soupy: Can you hold it in your hand?

Yes

Does it leave your hand when you use it?

Yes “I’m hot today”

Would it be used in the kitchen?

In the bathroom?

Is it a solid object, as opposed to rubber on one end and wood on the other?

Yes

Do you make plungers?

No $30

Joanna: Any moving parts? 

No $35

Alan first tries to clear up about whether it can be used in one room of the house more than other.  He then has to stop Wally from counting that as a wrong answer.

Used by men and women?

Yes

Day and night?

Yes

Does it always leave your hand?

Yes

We get a 30 second warning, before Alan passes

Arlene: Anything Fun and Games?

No $40

Soupy: Use it over and over again?

Yes

Is it a toy?

No (GAME OVER!)

Tim Slatery works with money. More specifically, he BURNS IT for the federal reserve bank!  He’s the supervisor of this operation and there are tears involved.  Arlene asks Tim what’s the most money they’ve burned at once.  “About 20 million Dollars”.  The daily rate is about $6-7 Mil of old money.  That’s comes to a Billion and a half a year.  The bank delivers the old money to the bank; Joanna asks if there’s an opening.  One last note:  a single dollar bill lasts one month before, as Arlene speculates, gives birth to a new one.

MYSTERY GUEST

How well do you know people alive and famous in 1968?  The panel has two minutes going one question at a time?

Soupy: Are you in show business?

A deep Yes

Joanna: Most known for films?

Not exactly (Sounds like Bela Lugosi to me but he was long dead by this date. belalugosi.com/biography)

Alan: Do you sing?

Occasionally

Arlene: Appeared in a musical in New York?

No

Soupy: Appeared in a nightclub in the last year?

Yes

Joanna: Did you have a running part on TV?

Yes

Alan: Have you had hit recordings published?

“Only with my family”

Arlene: Do you record with your family?                               

No, but they’re the only one who buy the records.  The trouble is, they’re made without the holes.

Soupy: Are you Myron Cohen?

NO! “I Used to be” (30 second warning)

Joanna: In your series, did you play a detective?

No, several were looking for him.

Alan: Do you get paid for being a comedian?

Yes, still fooling the public

Arlene: Are you rounder than taller?

No (15 seconds left)

Soupy: Are you a comedian?

Only when people laugh (Time to Take off the Masks)

It’s MOREY AMSTERDAM!

Earlier in the year, Morey broke records at the Latin Quarter.  The quick-witted comedy mind now puts his improv skills to the test. 

Soupy: TV Producer

Runs a medium that’s very good for the artist.  He can get at so many people who can’t get at you.

Joanna: Boston Symphony Orchestra

My father was with the San Francisco Symphony.  He was the head Symp!

Alan: New York Subway

Well, the first time I came to New York, people said “Watch Out for the Subway.  They pack people in like sardines.”  That’s not true, there’s enough room for a sardine to lay down.

Arlene: Politics (This is a long one)

“There are so many jokes on politics, you really don’t have to write ‘em. Just read the Congressional Record.  But my favorite political story is about this group listening to a fellow running for (Charles) alderman (definition) and he’s talking about all the wonderful things he’s gonna do and everyone’s booing him and hissing him.  And finally, the whole crowd gets up to walk out of the place, except one little Jewish man sitting on the end and the last man and his group going out turns around and looks at him he says “You’re not gonna stay here and listen to that guy peddle all that junk, are ya?”  And he says, “What can I do, I’m the next speaker!”

HA! HA! HA! HA!

Morey also promotes his new movie, the Disney film “The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit” featuring Dean Jones. You’ll love it even it you don’t understand it. (Note: Not available on Disney+)

Finally, we chat with Joanna. She’s an actress, an author and as we find out, also an interior decorator.  Her column was in newspapers for many years, detailed in the new book “Starting from Scratch”.  Joanna believes people are taking interior decorating too seriously and blowing a hole in their budget as a result.  She also advises away from antique collecting, unless you’re going to take it seriously.  Just use what you have.  Soupy chimes in about his friend renovating his barn with new drunks!

What’s my Line? is owned by Fremantle.