1986

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-November 26, 1986

Host: John Davidson
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens

Rip TaylorSteven Ford
(Young and the Restless)
Fred Willard
Mindy Cohn
(The Facts of Life)
ALFChris Lemmon
Edwin NewmanFinola Hughes
(General Hospital)
Shirley Jones
All stars have turkeys, but they’re not for cooking.

Shanna Sullivan (OBGYN assistant)
X Fred Dybal (1-Day Champ, graphic designer)

ROUND 1

Shanna’s up
1 Fred: The story goes that the pilgrims first landed at Plymouth Rock. Today, something is inscribed on that rock. What is it?
“Plymouth 2.9% Financing” or “Go Red Sox, Wait ’til Next Year.
Guess: The Date, 1620
Shanna agrees O
2 Finola: You’re a woman and you’ve just been zigzagged and buzzed and notched out. What has happed to you?
“Maybe you were lucky enough to have a date with Steven Ford”
Guess: You’ve had a workout
Fred disagrees X (Had your hair done)
3 Rip (chicken suit): According to J Edison Price MD, on the average, a facelift will generally last a minimum of how many years?
“5 Years or 50,000 smiles”
Guess: 15 years
Shanna disagrees O (Should’ve stuck with the 1st guess)
4 Steven to block:

John: Have you ever thought of going into politics?
Steven: I don’t know, what kind of a politician would an actor make anyway? This doesn’t air in front of all the country does it?

Question: What’s the turkey trot?
What you do after you eat too much turkey.
Guess: A Dance
Fred disagrees

Is it a dance?: Yes
Is he a dummy?: HA! HA!
5 Steven to win: According to American Folklore, the legendary character once rode an Oklahoma Cyclone with a saddle. What do we call him?
Guess: Paul Bunyan
Shanna disagrees WIN! (Pecos Bill)

SECRET SQUARE: Trip to Bermuda (Eastern; 1 wk. @ Elbow Beach Hotel)

Fred starts
1 ALF: You’re having company for Thanksgiving:
“It’s the holiday where you hide the eggs and soap up the windows, right?”
Should you stuff your bird tonight before you go to sleep?
Guess: No
Fred agrees X

We interrupt this match for the 1st annual Hollywood Squares Classic. Each row is going to race to stuff their birds the fastest.

  • Left column makes the stuffing
  • Middle column does the stuffing
  • Last column sews up the bird

TIME OUT! Rip’s already passing to Steven. He says he already threw the eggs in. The refs agree. Alf couldn’t get the stuffing out of the box. Shirley got caught up in the sewing. And Rip, Steven and Fred are the winners.

2 Shirley: SECRET SQUARE! Which president gave us the Fair Deal? Teddy Roosevelt, Herbert Hoover or Harry Truman?
Guess: Truman
Shanna disagrees X (The college students in the audience knew it, too)
3 Rip to win (out of costume pretty fast): The fierce Indian Warrior Geronimo got his name from the Mexicans. What does Geronimo mean in Spanish?
“Parachute Cord”
Guess: Fierce
Fred disagrees TIE GAME! (Jerome)

ROUND 3

Shanna
1 Edwin: Musical Question, take it away, John!

The Power of Love is a curious thing
Makes one man weep, another one sing
Change your heart to a little white dove

Edwin: “And That’s the News, Good Night”
Guess: “And it works like you like a gift from above”
Shanna disagrees O (More than a feeling, that’s the power of love)
2 Steven: What traditionally ends when someone shouts “Thank You, Mr. President!”
Guess: A cabinet meeting
Fred disagrees X (Presidential news conference)
3 Shirley (performing w/Pacific Symphony in near future): Tradition tells us that the Indians provided this main course for the first Thanksgiving. What was the main course?
Big Macs
Guess: Corn
Shanna agrees
“Wonderful answer” but wrong X (Venison)
4 ALF: When preparing Thanksgiving dinner, you should try to prevent something called turkey blowout. What causes it?
Stuffing it with chili
Guess: Cooking it too long
Fred disagrees X (Overstuffing it)
Anyone been there?
One of the cameramen did.

Cameramen don’t have a real life, do they?

5 Rip to block: Do owls ever dance?
“If their tree is on fire”
Guess: No
Shanna agrees WRONG!
6 Finola to win (HONK!), or just for an extra $200. Fred already has the edge.
Question: What well-known legal term literally means “You Have a Body”?
Guess: Quid pro quo (the only legalese she knows)
Fred disagrees WIN! (Habeas Corpus)

Shanna takes home $500 and the home version of The Newlywed Game.

Fred’s winnings are up to $1,800.

After trying the Wagoneer Limited yesterday, Fred has four more choices.

  • Wrangler
  • Comanche X
  • Cherokee Chief
  • Grand Wagoneer

It’s the Red Wrangler “the fun one”. ($12,000) And two more fun ones, Shirley and Mindy, for good luck.

1…2…3…

Sorry, no room for fun. Look on the bridge side, Fred can join our Thanksgiving feast tomorrow.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-November 28, 1986

Host: John Davidson
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens

ALFSteven Ford
(Young and the Restless)
Chris Lemmon
Mindy Cohn
(The Facts of Life)
Fred WillardShirley Jones
Finola Hughes
(General Hospital)
Edwin NewmanRip Taylor

O DeAnn Samplee (Bakersfield, CA, sign language instructor)
She gives a demonstration following John’s instructions


X Fred Dybal (3-Day Champ: $3,100)

ROUND 1-DeAnn starts

1 Chris: According to USA Today, when an executive makes coffee for his secretary, it usually indicates he is what?
“Paying her rent”
Guess: Intending to fire her
DeAnn disagrees O (He is a secure executive)
2 Edwin: On your desk are the words to one of the most time-honored Mother Goose Rhymes. Edwin will sing it:

The Eensy Weensy spider climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain and washed the spied out
Out came the sunshine and dried up all the rain (ALF gags)
And the Eensy weensy spider climbed up the spout again.

Question: What country were the Mother Goose stories first published?
Guess: Germany
Fred disagrees X (England, 1760)
3 Fred: True or False? George Washington had a half-brother named Larry who served in the British Navy.
And two other brothers Curly and Moe

Guess: True
DeAnn agrees O
4 Finola to block: According to Redbook Magazine, is it better for you to take long hot showers or quick warm showers?
“It depends who you’re with”
Guess: Quick warm showers
Fred agrees X (Hot showers dry the skin)
5 Rip to block: True or false? There’s a little amusement park in Oklahoma(True! False!)
…where all the attractions are based on stories from the Bible.
“My favorite is Sodom and Gomorrah land”
Guess: True
DeAnn agrees O (DeAnn’s husband is a Baptist Minister)
Fred can only block one at a time
6 Shirley to block: According to superstition, why do wedding guests throw rice at newlyweds?
“Toasters are too dangerous”
Guess: For good luck
Fred agrees WRONG! (So they’ll have many children)
7 Shirley to win (Sorry, ALF): According to Health Magazine, if a hotel wants to keep Frank Sinatra happy, it should always have a jar of it waiting for him. A jar of what?
Guess: Spaghetti sauce
DeAnn disagrees WIN! (Peanut Butter)

SECRET SQUARE: Trip to Puerto Vallarta, MX (Western Airlines; Buganvillias Sheraton)

Fred starts
1 Fred (making up for being a short-tempered cook yesterday): According to the book “How to Use Colors to Sell”, customers who like red are extroverted. Customers who like yellow are intellectual. What are customers who like purple?
Red(Extrovert) + Blue(Sad) = Insane people
Guess: Artistic people
Fred (the contestant) disagrees O
2 Chris: The early Romans brought live chickens to the table and dumped them in red wine. Why did they do this?
“They wanted to drown them”|
Guess: To prepare them for plucking
DeAnn disagrees O (To Flavor the birds)
3 Finola to block: Does Cosmopolitan think you’ll get better service by flirting a little?
Guess: Yes
Fred agrees WRONG! (Flirting could be misinterpreted)
4 Finola to win: According to New Woman Magazine, do couples who sleep together get more or less sleep than when either partner sleeps alone.
Guess: Less
DeAnn disagrees X (Around 30 times a night)
John got lost on who gets the Square. DITTO!
5 Mindy: 800 women from over 12 nations have appeared on “Facts of Life.”

…met in Washington D.C. recently. What was the #1 issue discussed?
Guess: Nuclear disarmament
Fred disagrees X (Lack of attention to women’s issues)
6 ALF to block: Just before Monday’s show our staff played a joke on John that the show had a new sponsor. Larva, a gag soft drink. We see the outtakes as John struggles to keep his composure.
What we didn’t see is John actually drink the stuff. Did he?
“That was a clip. Looked like a pilot”
Guess: “No one’s that stupid, then again”
DeAnn agrees, show the clip:
HE DID!
6 ALF to win: “I apologize, you are that stupid”
Question: What’s a finger wave?
Moving your finger up and down (ALF Demonstrates)
Guess: A Hairdo
Fred agrees TIE GAME! (Method of setting hair)
Secret Square: Edwin

ROUND 3

DeAnn starts
1 Chris (HONK!) to decide: This screen goddess of the 50s who starred in such movies as Vertigo, Pal Joey, Bell Book and Candle, recently made her debut on TV’s Falcon Crest. Who is she?
Guess: Kim Novak
DeAnn agrees NEW CHAMPION!

Fred’s total winnings: $3,600 and a home version of Price is Right

Are the signs with DeAnn? She picks a new key from John’s bowl. Which Jeep will she go for?

  • Wrangler
  • Comanche X
  • Cherokee Chief
  • Wagoneer Limited
  • Grand Wagoneer

DeAnn wants the big one, the Grand Wagoneer ($25,049). And since it’s Friday, everyone is her good luck celebrity, except ALF. He busy guzzling Larva, “I’m gonna go spin a web now”

3…2…1…VVROOM! ($25,749)

A toast to DeAnn’s first-day car win!

I wanted LARVA, DAMNIT! LARVA!

Two new contestants on Monday and these nine new celebs!

  • Gil Gerard (Sidekicks)
  • Ahmad Rashad (NBC Sports)
  • Brad Garrett
  • Pat McCormick
  • Arleen Sorkin (Days of Our Lives)
  • Bob Vila (This Old House)
  • Sarah Purcells (Real People)
  • Jose Feliciano
  • Betty White

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-November 27, 1986

Host: John Davidson
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens

ALFSteven Ford
(Young and the Restless)
Edwin Newman
Mindy Cohn
(The Facts of Life)
Shirley JonesChris Lemmon
Fred WillardFinola Hughes
(General Hospital)
Rip Taylor

And the visiting Los Chivas Flames Soccer Team

O Helene Salor (San Gabriel, CA, likes horseback riding, spending time with her son and works as a waitress)
X Fred Dybal (2-Day Champ, graphic designer)

Round 1-Helene first

1 Shirley: According to ??? Magazine, these kinds of TV programs combine the glitter of game show with the hard sell of old-time commercials. What are they? (Name lost in video cutoff)
“Religious shows”
Guess: Courtroom Dramas
Helene disagrees O (Home Shopping Shows)
2 Fred, who’s demonstrating how to make pancakes for Thanksgiving.
According to Webster, is there any difference between flapjacks and pancakes?
Guess: They’re the same
Fred the contestant agrees X
3 Steven: Do you do bed scenes?
No, and those that do get a lot of lip injures
Real Question: A Frontier cowboy’s most precious possession was his horse. What was his most important tool?
Guess: His gun
Helene agrees X (His Rope)
4 ALF: Tina Turner and Madonna both made this dubious top 10 list. What list did they both make?
“Both women who could squirt pudding”
Stop reading those tabloids, ALF!
Guess: Best Dressed List
Fred disagrees X (Worst Dressed)
Helene has two spots to block
5 Mindy to block: According to veterinarian Michael Garvey, is it okay to give your dog some of your chocolate bar?
“No, let him get his own”
Guess: Yes
Helene agrees WRONG! (Gives them gas, Helene replies “No wonder my dog’s sick”)


6 Mindy to win: The Abominable Snowman is said to live in the Himalayas, the Loch Ness Monster is said to dwell in Scotland, where does legend say Bigfoot comes from?
“Reebokia” (Mindy apologizes)
Guess: The Andes Mountains
Fred disagrees WIN! (North America)

SECRET SQUARE: Trip to Orlando, FL (Delta; @ Sea World Wyndham)

Helene
1 Edwin: What’s it called when a member of the Senate makes an exceptionally long speech in order to prevent a vote?
Guess: Filibuster (thanks to Edwin’s first news job for the Senate 45 years ago)
Helene agrees O (“You can trust that Face”)
2 Finola: It used to begin on the last Sunday in April, but next year, it will begin on the first Sunday in April. What is it?
“The Christmas Sales”
Guess: The Baseball Season
Fred disagrees X (Daylight Saving Time)
3 ALF SECRET SQUARE! (So Helene can visit her former stomping grounds)
Who was the first man in space?: Yuri Gagarin, John Glenn or Alan Shepherd?
Guess: Glenn
Helene agrees X (Yuri)
4 Mindy: It’s a white ash that grows from 75 years. It’s cut down, split and baked for 8 months. What is made out of it?
“Bagels”
Guess: Railroad tires
Fred disagrees X (Baseball Bats)
As a Jewish girl, Mindy knew about bagels. As for baseball, she just files nails in the dugout.
5 Fred to block: According to Dr. Joyce Brothers, if your child walks in while you and your spouse are making love, what should you do?
First, “Put down that camera”
Guess: Bring it out in the open
Helene disagrees WRONG!
6 Fred for Fred to win: Nero couldn’t have possibly fiddled while Rome burned. Why not?
“His Violin Teacher started the fire with his fiddle”
“Someone’s not gonna get pancakes today.”
Guess: The fiddle hadn’t been invented
Fred agrees $1,000 WIN!

ROUND 3

Helene starts
1 Edwin: According to World Book, what is the Bumble Bee’s worst enemy?
Rimsky-Korsakov (Wrote “Flight of the Bumblebees”)
ALF “Go Back to News”
Guess: DDT
Helene disagrees X (Close enough to man)


2 Shirley: Music time:

When I’m calling you
Will you answer too
That means I offer my love to you
To be your own
If You refuse me I will be blue
And waiting all alone

Shirley and ALF duet The Indian Love Song

Question: Who is best remembered for singing that duet in the movies?
Guess: Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy
Fred agrees X
3 Fred to block: In 1960, Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev disrupted a meeting at the United Nations by banging something on the table.
Richard Nixon’s head
Guess: Took off his shoe
Helene agrees O
4 Chris (HONK!): A 17-year-old girl can’t be admitted to an X-rated movie alone. Could she be allowed into the movie if you go with her?
Chris pleads the fifth as first.
Guess: Absolutely not
Fred agrees X

Helene only gets $100.
Fred wins with $1,300 ($3,100 Total)

Now Fred can get an early Christmas present in one of these Jeeps:

  • Comanche X
  • Cherokee Chief
  • Grand Wagoneer

Fred picks the Cherokee ($14,997) with Mindy, Chris and Rip.

1…2…3…

UH-OH! Still no luck. I’m sure there’s a pancake waiting for him, though. Happy Thanksgiving!

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-November 3, 1986

Host: Larry “Bud” Melman
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens

Debbie ReynoldsJohn DavidsonMariette Hartley
Rich Hall
“Snigglets”
Gladys KnightAndrew Stevens
New EditionPudgyMilton Berle

That’s right, Melman has taken over the host bench. Two new players have taken the contestant’s podium.

X Bruce Berman
O Ruth Swizlo

The game’s still the same. And there are five cars, Toyotas, any one our contestants can win.

And Let Me Tell You, There’s Nothing like a Spiffy New Sled to Impress the Babes. LAUGH

Cue Card

Okay, time to get serious. John and Bud go back to their regular positions.

ROUND 1-Starting with Ruth

1 Mariette: What recently made news when it celebrated its 350th birthday?
“The line “Of course, I’ll respect you in the morning.”
Guess: Saint Augustine, Florida
Ruth disagrees O (Harvard University)
2 Gladys (without the Pips): A few bars from “Heard it Through the Grapevine” and then the question.
True or False: The expression “Heard it Through the Grapevine” goes back to Civil War days.
Guess: True (Gossip has been happening for years)
Bruce agrees X (Used when telegraph wines broke onto grapevines)
3 Debbie: Among gems, nothing is harder than a diamond, but what comes after the diamond?
“Whether it be a emerald, and a ruby and me, darling” (Zsa Zsa Gabor impression)
Guess: Ruby
Ruth agrees X (Sapphire)
But come on, they’re both stronger together

4 Uncle Milty for the Win: It’s music trivia with New Edition! Here’s a song from their new album “Duke of Earl” and Milton will finish the lyric.

Duke, Duke, Duke
Duke of Earl, Duke, Duke

“Change my Earl”?
Guess: Milty can’t put the whole phrase together, but something about “I’ve wandered around the world”
Bruce disagrees WIN! (Just “Duke of Earl”, again and again and again….)

SECRET SQUARE: Trip to Hollywood…FL (Eastern; @ Diplomat)

Ruth again
1 Mariette: According to USA Today “they take more “pie chart””
Correction: They are less likely to wear seat belts and they tend to lose control of their cars more often. Who are they?
“Compulsive Overeaters”
Guess: Drinkers
Ruth agrees X (Smokers)
2 Gladys “Ms. Songbird”: According to Webster’s, if a singer is using an artificially produced high voice, he or she singing in what?
“Very tight pants”
Guess: Falsetto
Bruce agrees X
3 New Edition to block: As big basketball fans, you should know this. When an official grabs his wrist and holds both arms over his head, he’s calling a holding penalty. What does it mean when he places his hands on his waist?
“He lost his belt”
Guess: Blocking Penalty
Ruth agrees O
4 Uncle Milty: Who was Washington Irving?
“George Washington’s Tailor on 46th Street”
Guess: The author of Rip Van Winkle
Bruce agrees X
And Ruth has two spots to watch for.
5 Debbie to block: True or false? Sigmund Freud once observed that we have two basic instincts, sex and anger.
Why does Zsa Zsa get all the sex questions?
Guess: True
Ruth disagrees WRONG!
6 Debbie to win: According to the academy of general dentistry, is it a good idea to pick your teeth?
“Well, you have to be sure they fit good first”
Guess: No
Bruce agrees O
7 Rich to win: According to UCLA’s Health Insights, what is the main thing a sex therapist should NEVER EVER do?
“Bring a Camera”
Guess: Give up on you
Ruth disagrees TIE GAME! (Becomes involved with a patient physically)
Secret Square: Pudgy

Word of advice, Bruce: Should’ve gone with Andrew on that last one.

ROUND 3: Tie-Breaker

Bruce is up
1 Uncle Milty: According to Dear Abby, is it okay to ask someone “Have you had a facelift?”
Milton was at a loss for words at one point.
Guess: No
Bruce disagrees O
(Uncle Milty will be at the Long Beach Terrace Theater on the 15th w/Henny Youngman “A Night of a 1001 Laughs”

Mariette: Have you ever had a facelift?
Milton: Oh, Shut Up!

2 Mariette: Olivia de Haviland, who just turned 70 years old, says she regrets that she never had a lasting one because it takes great wisdom to make one work. What?
“A Power Mower” or “My Hair Dryer”
Guess: A Relationship with a man
Ruth agrees
Well, the answer is marriage, so it’s not close enough? X

3 Gladys: French hunters were the first to do it. It involved a whole hog, ox or other large animal, and was usually performed in an open field. Today, it’s known as what?
“You are so fresh, John”
Guess: Barbecuing
Bruce agrees X (From the French word for Whiskers and Tail)
4 New Edition to block: According to Ebony Magazine, what group was originally known as the Primettes?
Guess: “Gladys and the Knights” or Pips
Ruth agrees WRONG! (The Supremes)
5 New Edition to win HONK! or for another tie.
Two young Miami (Florida) women recently paid Don Johnson $5,000 a piece, then each got to kiss him and do something else with him. What?
Guess: Pose in Play Girl
Bruce disagrees CHAMPION! (To be in his new music video)

Now, let’s check out those sleds, er, Toyotas.

  • MR2
  • Supra
  • Camry Wagon
  • Corolla FX-16
  • SR5 Truck

Bruce wants the Black Supra ($22,590) and Gladys Kinght for good luck.

1…2…3…

Nope. But he’s happy to get another chance tomorrow.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-October 17, 1986

Host: John Davidson
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens

X Jim Babbit (Redondo Beach, CA, general contractor)
O Sheila Taylor (3-Day Champion)

The first question isn’t from John, it’s from a young fan for ALF. “Where is Melmak?”
Answer: Take a left at Andromeda

Round 1

Jim first
1 ALFie: According to Webster’s dictionary, what do you call a person who wears lots of makeup, dresses in tights, is very light on his feet and makes weird gestures with his hands.
“A Traffic Cop in Hollywood”
Guess: A mime
Jim agrees X
2 Arleen: What is that on your head?
I can tell you, it’s a silver colored baseball glove and bat (“GO METS!”)
Real Question: What country can we thank for giving us the turkey?
Guess: Italy
Sheila disagrees O (U.S., Arlene “I knew that”)
3 Charles: Young people love them, but a University of Georgia report describes them as being sexist violent and male-dominated. What are they?
Pat Sajak and Vanna White

Guess: Soap Operas
Jim agrees O (Music Videos, Charles: Don’t call on me)
4 Tempestt: The question is about her TV brother, Malcolm Jamal-Warner. We asked Malcolm who his dream date would be. If it could be anyone in the whole world, who do you think he said?
Guess: Whitney Houston
Shiela disagrees

Malcolm is on the phone with his answer: Janet Jackson O, and Tempestt objects. Malcolm says Whitney’s too old.
5 Christopher to block: He’s with a live penguin from Marineland. It’s called a Jackass Penguin. (Don’t read into that Christopher). What is special about jackass penguins?
“It’s a penguin that still believes in the stork.”
Guess: They make a noise like a jackass
Jim disagrees X (Warm Weather Penguins, and Christopher can tell)
6 Ed to block: He says the network is giving him a spinoff “Corner Square”.
Question: According to the Wall Street Journal, there is a habit that provides much pleasure to many young children, but it’s also gained great popularity among adults. What is t?
“Having a pretty nurse take your temperature.”
Guess: Thumb sucking
Sheila disagrees WRONG

I don’t write ’em folks, I just read ’em.

John’s response

7 Ed to win: According to Webster’s Dictionary, is there any real difference between being dumb and being stupid?
“Fooling around with your wife is stupid, getting caught is dumb.”
Guess: Yes
Jim agrees O
8 Zsa Zsa to win: Ms. Gabor has three wrenches on her desk. First, an open end, then a crescent, and finally a pipe wrench. As if she’s ever seen then before.
Question: Which one would a plumber use on your elbow joint?
“Why would he use that on me?”
No, Zsa Zsa, it’s the elbow joint under the sink.
Alf: “She uses them to remove her rings.”
Guess: The Pipe wrench
Sheila agrees WIN!

Secret Square: Trip to Coeur d’Alene, Idaho (via Spokane WA, Western; 6n@ Coeur d’Alene)

Jim’s up
1 ALFie: According to scientists at NASA, intelligent life may very well have existed there once, but very unlikely today. Where?
“Network TV offices”
“Only kidding. I wouldn’t bite the paw that fed me.”
Guess: Mars
Jim agrees X
2 Ed: Where would you have to go to see the highest peaks in North America?
“The Playboy Mansion”
Guess: Mt. McKinley
Sheila agrees O (In Alaska)
If he got it right, why’s he trying to jump.
Charles: “Think of your spinoff.”
3 Tempestt: According to a survey by the Bel Air Prep School, which quality did the kids say they most want in a teacher?
A) Easy to talk to
B) Easy grader
C) The one who gives little homework
Guess: A
Jim agrees X
4 Ken to block: A large gregarious colorful baboon, what’s its name?
Guess: Orangutan
Sheila agrees WRONG (Mandrill)
5 Ken to win: Dent, sweet, flint, pop, flower, and pod are all what?
Guess: Types of rock
Jim disagrees TIE GAME! (Types of corn)
Secret Square: Zsa Zsa

Round 3

Sheila starts
1 ALF: What has over 600 muscles and 206 bones?
“One of those fast food fish sandwiches.” For the record, Alf doesn’t eat them. “I eat the box they come in”
Guess: The Human Body
Sheila agrees O
2 Nell, performing at the Tropicana (horn): According to Cosmopolitan, what is the absolute worst place to have a fight?
“In the delivery room”
Guess: In the Bedroom
Jim agrees X
We’re tied at $600, Sheila holds fate in her hands.
3 Ken to decide: The great Michelangelo, was that his first name, last name or his only name?
Guess: Last Name
Sheila agrees X (First Name) JIM WINS!

Sheila’s Grand Total: $4,200 in Cash and Trips to NYC & St. Thomas

Car Cavalcade: ISUZU

  • Impulse
  • I-Mark Sedan
  • Pickup
  • LS Space Cab
  • Trooper II

“I need that truck” as he was reaching in the bowl. Jim is talking about the LS Space Cab. ($11,029) Zsa Zsa must be good luck, right.

1…2…3…

Nothing
Jim: “Maybe it has a dead battery” Nice try! The bad news, he won’t be playing for that truck again. Good news, there’ll be a new set of wheels for Jim to play for. And of course, a new set of faces.

  • Robin Leech
  • Roseanne Barr
  • Gil Gerard
  • Robert Walden, Paul Regina and Brandon Maggart (from “Brothers”)
  • Garrett Morris (Hunter)
  • Jan Stephenson
  • Delta Burke
  • Joanna Kerns
  • Charo

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.


THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-September 24, 1986

Host: John Davidson
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens

O DD Alton (3-Day Total: $3,800 and two trips)
X Marc Stone (Los Angeles, account manager for office machines)

Round 1

1 Milton: To Dr. Ruth Westheimer, what is good sex?
“At George Burns’ age, anything”
Guess: Must be referring to her book.
Marc agrees X
2 Lynn: According to biblical experts, it is described as a “Divine occurrence beyond the power of man”. What do we commonly call it?
“The Success of Wheel of Fortune”

Guess: A Revelation
DD disagrees O (A miracle)
3 Louie:

Louie: Why am I in the third tier?
John: Because we want to see it wobble.
Louie: Neither of us can talk.

Question: What is hippophobia?
“When I’m in your backyard.”
Guess: Fear of Hippos
Marc disagrees X (Fear of Horses)
4 Jan-Michael to block: According to folklore, what does it mean if your ears are burning?
“Your hair is on fire”
Guess: You’re going to hear from an old friend
DD disagrees O (Someone’s talking about you)
5 Charlotte to block:

When she plays the witch, she doesn’t use makeup.

Milton on Charlotte’s upcoming Halloween special

Question: Who wrote Frankenstein?
“Nobody. That’s why he had such a rotten time at camp.”
Guess: Mary Shelley
Marc agrees X
6 Kareem: In Mythology, what was the drink of the gods?
“Bud Light”
Guess: Ambrosia
DD disagrees O (Nectar)
Both players are 3-for-3 so far.
7 Heidi to block: True or false? According to watermelon experts, the bigger your melons, the better.
“Especially in this business”
Guess: False
Marc agrees X (Medium or better)
8 Little Richard to block: According to fashion experts, what’s wrong with mixing gold and silver?
Guess: After a long wait…makes you look very rich. Nothing’s wrong
DD agrees O
9 Mike to decide:

There’s a motorcycle cop (Mr. Powell of the California Highway Patrol) here to read Mike his rights:

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can or will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to refuse a search. You have the right to speak with an attorney and have an attorney present with you while you’re being questioned. If you cannot afford to hire an attorney, one will be appointed to represent you before questioning if you wish.

Question for someone who starred on three police shows: What right shouldn’t have been there?
After a repeat, The Search line
Marc agrees WIN!

Secret Square Round: 6d Windjammer Barefoot Bahamian Cruise (via Nassau; Eastern)

DD’s up
1 Louie: Where do we get most of our maple syrup?
“Safeway Aisle 6”
Guess: Maine
DD disagrees O (Vermont)
5-For-5!
2 Heidi: Scientists reporting in USA Today claim that you see chickens try to fly and pigs jump over fences just before a certain event. What even is that?
“A Barbecue”
Guess: A tornado
Marc disagrees X (Earthquake)
3 “Uncle Milty”: According to the New Testament, what is it that will set you free?
“Bran Muffins”
Guess: Love
DD disagrees O (The Truth)
4 Jan-Michael to block: There is a well-known Japanese word that means “the Divine Wind”. What do we call it?
(Something in Japanese)
Guess: Sushi
Marc disagrees X (Kamikaze)
5 Mike: Yakitori, Maguro and Kaki are things you might find where?
“In Fresno around the dairy farms, the farmers get it on their boots.”
Guess: Cities in Korea
DD disagrees O (Japanese Restaurants)
Marc has two spots to block, and if he gets either one, we’re in sudden death.
6 Kareem to block AND Secret Square ($3,288): Who said “Nice guys finish last?” Was it Vince Lombardi, Leo Durocher or General George S. Patton?
Guess: “Daffy Duck” Durocher
Marc agrees YOU MEANIE! X
Lynn will decide this. Do you know what you’ve done, Marc?


7 Lynn to win: A musical question, give us the next line:

More than the greatest love the world has known

Guess: I cannot go on living alone (Not her key)
DD disagrees TIE MATCH! (“This is the love I give to you alone”)

To recap: Both players have played eight questions and gotten eight right.

Round 3

Marc first
1 Uncle Milty: The Constitution limits the President to 8 years in office, but could George Bush serve for the next 20 years (as V.P.)?
“Sure but who would ever know?”
Guess: No
Marc disagrees X (Vice Presidents have no term limit)
2 Lynn: According to a new study in L.A. Daily News, what is more fattening: Eating 500 calories of chocolate ice cream or 500 cal. of rye bread?
Guess: “500 calories is 500 calories”
Milton: “What a relief”
DD disagrees O (Ice Cream, calories from fats are more than carbs)
3 Louie: What is a jib boom?
“It’s a sound you make when you drop a jib.”
Speaking of sound, the horn goes off. This decides the game.
Guess: A fish
Marc disagrees WIN! (Part of a sailboat)
It’s 19-0!

DD’s grand total: $4,400 Plus the Trips
Marc has $700 in cash.

One last choice, find the Mazda that’ll fit the key from the bowl.

  • RX-7
  • 626 4-Door
  • B2000 Truck
  • 323
  • 626 Sports Coupe

Marc’s choice is the RX-7, and for good luck Kareem. Too bad they fit.

1…2…3…

Only wrong guess for the whole day. Marc won’t have to be perfect again tomorrow. He just has to win try for the cars again.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES CORRECTION

I forgot to check the rules from the first month of Hollywood Squares ’86. The third round wasn’t worth $1,000 at the time; it was $500. All posts have been updated.

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-September 23, 1986

Host: John Davidson
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens

O DD Alton (2-Day Total: $2,500+Trip to Bahamas)
X Denny Despar (sales manager for a wine company, sorry he didn’t bring samples)

ROUND 1-Denny starts

1 Louie (appearing in Nashville and St. Louis at airtime): The big man is going to be cooking. We’ve provided him the ingredients and a bowl. Here’s the recipe:

  • 1 lb. Sugar
  • 1 lb. Butter
  • 1 lb. Flour
  • 1 lb. Eggs

This is a traditional recipe for What?
“Nell Carter”
Guess: Sugar Cookies
Denny agrees O (Pound Cake)
2 Little Richard “My Idol”: Controversy, Delirious, Let’s Go Crazy, Soft and Wet and I Wanna Be Your Lover are all hits from who?
“Pat Boone” (who does a bad “Tutti Frutti”)
Guess: Prince
DD agrees O
3 Milton to block: In addition to designing the Eiffel Tower, architect Gustav Eiffel also designed the framework for what other massive undertaking?
“Dom DeLuise’s Jockey Shorts”
Guess: The Statue of Liberty
Denny disagrees WRONG!
4 People used to consider it a sin, but today four times as many men and women are doing it than they did in 1970. Doing what?
“Eating a hot pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise.”
Guess: Living together without being Married
DD agrees WIN!

Secret Square: Trip to Ft. Lauderdale (Eastern; @ Diplomat)-Denny again

1 Louie “Pound Cake”: According to Ann Landers, it’s the one thing in life that never ever seems to work. What?
“A battery from K-Mart”
Guess: A Trial Marriage
Denny Agrees O (Diets)
2 Charlotte SECRET SQUARE: Julie Andrews starred in The Sound of Music. Who originated the part on Broadway? Is it Julie Andrews, Mary Martin or Mitzi Gainer?
Guess: Mary
DD agrees PACK YOUR BAGS AGAIN! (Value: $3,311)
Note: DeeDee starts 3-0 against an 0-3 again
3 Lynn to block: After 23 years, Merv Griffin says he’s going to stop doing it. Doing what?
“Eating for two” “Picking His Nose”
Guess: Smoking
Denny disagrees X (Ending his talk show)
4 Kareem (running Cranberry MCA Records): Some people think professional athletes are greatly overpaid,* but who do we consider to be more overpaid. Baseball or basketball players?
“Basketball coaches
Guess: Baseball
DD Agrees O (two ways to win)
5 Heidi to block: Many hotels these days are moving away from the use of room keys in an effort to avoid thefts.  How are people getting into their rooms?
“Usually without the wife finding out.”
Guess: By voice-activated door locks
Denny disagrees X (Magnetic Cards)
6 Milton to win again: Soft, semi-soft, blue vein, ripened and processed are used to describe what?
“My body”
Guess: Cheese
DD Agrees 2ND WIN!

ROUND 3-Denny again

1 Mike: According to the book, What’s the Difference, men are most interested in sex in September. When are women the most interested?
“Before marriage”
Guess: October
Denny disagrees X (July)
2 Jan-Michael: According to travel experts, for maximum comfort, what should you never remove during a long flight?
“If I were the pilot, it would be my glasses.”
Guess: Seat Belt
DD disagrees O (Your Shoes because your feet can swell up)
3 Charlotte: Surprisingly, elephants spend much less time than humans doing this. What is it?
“Watching Wild Kingdom”
Guess: Sleeping
Denny agrees X
4 Little Richard to block: You are a doctor of otolaryngology. What is your specialty?
“Pronouncing tough words”
Guess: The vocal cords
DD disagrees WRONG! (Record: 6-1)
5 For the Win: True or false? When mating, storks produce a high ear-piercing squeal that can be heard for hundreds of yards away.
John: “Like on your early records.”
Guess: False
Denny disagrees O
6 Lynn (last question): According to a survey by Purina Dog Chow, what is a dog’s favorite people food.
“It’s called leg of postman”
Guess: Cheese (Her dog loves peaches)
DD disagrees O (Hot Dogs)

Denny leaves with $200
DD wins with $1,300 (Total: $7,111+Bahamas)

On to the remaining Mazdas:

  • 626 Four Door
  • 323 Sedan
  • 626 Sport Coupe

She picks the 626 Coupe. Joined by Charlotte Jan-Michael and Lynn

1…2…3…

Still no good. If DD is willing, we’ll bring her back

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-September 22, 1986

Host: John Davidson
Announcer: Shadoe Stevens

O: DD Alton (One Day, $1,300)
X: Michael Weiner (waiter)

ROUND 1

Michael first
1 Milton, with a clip from his new video “A Night at La Cage”. He’s in drag, nothing new for him. Let’s see if he knows it when he sees it. Three Ladies at center stage, but only one is a real woman. The other two are from Lou Paciocco’s La Cage aux Folles Nightclub. Who is the real girl?
“This Question is a drag”
Guess: #3
Michael agrees O (#1 “l blew my wig.”)

  • #1 Wayne Smith
  • #2 Jennifer Palazzo
  • #3 Pia Van Doren

2 Lynn To really get your makeup to set properly, you should spray your face with something after you’re done.
“Krazy Glue”
Guess: Water
DD agrees O
3 Charlotte to block (She’s in a new HBO special: “The Worst Witch”) True or false? The Roman Emperor Nero quit his job to become a singer.
“He opened for Milton at Caesar’s Palace”
Guess: False
Michael agrees WRONG
4 Charlotte to Win The University of California offers a number of courses on sex education.  Are they popular with students?
“Especially those that do lots and lots and lots of homework.”
Guess: Yes
DD agrees WIN!

Secret Square: Trip to the Bahamas (Eastern; Xanadu Beach Resort)

Michael up again
1 Little Richard (New album, Lifetime Friend, coming in October) A hot oil fire has erupted in the skillet.  What should you do?
“Go out for dinner”
Guess: Take some sugar.
Michael agrees O (Baking Soda, 0-3)
2 Milton How long does a person have to be missing before being declared legally dead?
“If it’s a Jewish family, one meal.”
Guess: 7-8 years
DD agrees O (3-0)
3 Louie to block
If you are an average human being, you have 28 pounds of it in your body. What?
“Lunch”
Guess: Fat
Michael disagrees X (Bones)
4 Lynn (Secret Square)
For the trip at nearly $3,000, Who was the President who signed the controversial 55 mile per hour Speed limit into law.  Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter or Ronald Reagan?
Guess: Nixon
DD agrees O PACK YOUR BAGS!
5 Charlotte to block There is a lady standing in New York Harbor who has been carrying a torch for over 100 years.  What is her official name?
“Ruth Berkowitz”
Guess: Statue of Liberty
Michael agrees WRONG “The Liberty Enlightening the World”
6 Charlotte to win What famous personality said these words “I shall return”?
“Lucille Ball” (She keeps getting new shows)
Guess: General MacArthur
DD Agrees WIN AGAIN! (Up to 5 right in a row)

Round 3

Michael
1 Milton True or False? It takes the average Mouse about five seconds to mate.
“In that case, I don’t feel so bad.”
Guess: True
Michael agrees X
2 Kareem When one cat approaches another car and makes nose-to-nose contact, what does it mean?
“Jump Ball”
Guess: Getting acquainted
DD agrees O (Close Enough)
3 Jan-Michael According to New Woman Mag. Placing postage stamps on various areas of the face is a good idea when you want to what?
“Mail yourself”
Guess: Clear your skin
Michael disagrees X (Temporarily smooth it out)
4 Mike to block (Last Question) An expert in the field of hospital guest relations has stated that in many hospitals, bad food is a thing of the past.  Why?
“Because the people who ate it are a thing of the past.”
Guess: They got too many complaints.
DD disagrees O (Hired outside chefs, SEVEN STRAIGHT)

Michael leaves with $200
DD’s total today: $1,200 (Grand Total: $2,500+Bahamas)

Now to the cars. We’ve swapped out the Cadillacs for Mazdas. The least-expensive one has been taken out (Pickup) leaving these four:

  • Rx7 Sports Car
  • 626 Sedan
  • 323 Sedan
  • 626 Sport Coupe

DD chooses the RX7, Jan and Lynn.

1…2…3…

Sorry, but she’ll try again tomorrow.

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-September 19, 1986 (End of 1st Week)

Host: John Davidson

Friday means the stars are all wearing those red track suits. (Available to buy soon)

O: DD Alton (New Orleans, LA, policy analyst, collects earrings)
X: Kenny Chernov (One-Day Champion)

ROUND 1

DD, the challenger, goes first
1 Bronson: What are gibs, mibs, emmys and hoodles?
Guess: African Tribes
DD disagrees O (Marbles)
2 John (owns an island in Fiji): What happens to up to 70 percent of men who have their vasectomies surgically reversed?
“They Feel Short Changed”
Guess: Become Fathers
After some clarity, Kenny agrees O (They Remain infertile)
3 Jackie to win: Your pantyhose may not last as long in Los Angeles as they do in other cities. Why?
Jackie doesn’t wear pantyhose but asks if John does. As the host, he doesn’t have to answer.
Guess: The hot humid weather
DD disagrees WIN! (The Smog)

SECRET SQUARE GAME: Trip to Puerto Vallarta (Western; Plaza Vallarta)

Kenny first
1 Betty: SECRET SQUARE!
For the $1,330 trip: What war inspired Francis Scott Key to write the Star-Spangled Banner? The American Revolution, The War of 1812 or the Civil War?
Guess: The American Revolution
Kenny agrees O (B)
2 Bronson: Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep, but does she ever find them?
First, a poem:

Little Bovine has lost her mind
And does not know where to recoup it
If she does not find it, the sheep will not mind it
Her conduct from birth has been stupid

Guess: Yes, wagging their tails behind them
DD agrees O
3 Lorenzo to block: A Visual Clue:
Lady Black Belt breaks through a wall. It’s was a running sidekick. Which discipline of the martial arts did she use? Was is Judo, Karate or Kung Fu?
Guess: Karate
Kenny still disagrees WRONG! (That’s what you get for doubting an honest black belt)
Note: Kenny’s 0-3 and DeeDee’s 3-0
4 Lorenzo to win: Finish this song

You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is still a sigh

“I think there’s something in my eye”
Guess: Fundamental things apply, as time goes by
DD disagrees X
5 Mariette (was in Little Night Music in Ohio): What’s the highest award the government can give a civilian?
“Tax Refund”
Guess: Citizenship medal
Kenny disagrees X (Medal of Freedom) And now, both streaks have been broken.
6 Itzhak to block: Within a pride of lions, the female in addition to bearing the cubs does 95 percent of the…
“Shopping”
Guess: Finding the food
DD agrees O (Counts as hunting)
7 Emma: What is Ronald Reagan’s middle name?
“Rambo”
Guess: Wilson
Kenny disagrees O
8 Shadoe to win: What are hairline joints, butt joins and lap joints?
“Types of singles bars”
Guess: Sewing terms
DD disagrees WIN! (Ways to hang wallpaper)

Round 3

Kenny up again
1 John: According to Life Magazine, a poll of cosmetic surgeons found that the features their clients want the most are Farrah’s forehead, Brooke’s lips and Dolly’s
Guess: Chest, he said it some way or another
Kenny agrees O (Her nose, “Isn’t that cute”)
2 Mariette: What is Mount Fuji?
“Place where Japanese send their film to be developed”
Guess: The Highest Mountain in the World Japan
DD agrees O
3 Betty to block: Married women were recently asked by poll takers: “If given the chance, would you marry the same man?” What do the majority say?
“Come on in, handsome poll taker”
Guess: They wouldn’t trade in for a new model
Kenny agrees X
4 Bronson (started to choose before the horn went off): There’s one thing you must do in order to get a job in Iceland. What is it?
“Dye your hair blond”
Guess: Enlist in the military
DD disagrees O (Graduate from high school)

Kenny adds $100 for a 2-Day Total of $1,400
DD has $1,300

Our new champ takes a key, but which Caddy will she try for:

  • ElDorado
  • Seville
  • Coupe DeVille
  • Cimarron
  • Sedan Deville

She can choose Bronson, just as a good luck celebrity. Car-wise she picks the Seville.

1…2…3…

Not today. DD will come back on Monday to try again. That means a new group of stars in the board:

  • Lynn Redgrave
  • Jan-Michael Vincent (Airwolf)
  • Louie Anderson
  • Heidi Bohay (Hotel)
  • Milton Berle
  • Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
  • Little Richard
  • Mike Connors
  • Charlotte Rae (The Facts of Life)

But without Bronson, will she ever return?

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.