December 2023

TO TELL THE TRUTH-January 1, 1957 (3rd episode)

Host: Bud Collyer
Announcer: Bern Bennett
Celebrity Panel:

  • Polly Bergen
  • John Cameron Swayze
  • Hildy Parks
  • Dick Van Dyke

FIRST GUEST: Myna Shelton

I, Myna Shelton, am a criminal investigator in the office of the county prosecutor.  I deal in murder, arson and other felonies. I am an ex-postmaster and was once a secretary to the governor of my state.  For seven years, I was active in show business as a singer and dancer in vaudeville and nightclubs.  Despite the fact that I am a grandmother, I am proficient in the art of Judo.  I swear that the above statement is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. 

Signed, Myna Shelton

HILDY:
#1: Difference between a felony and a misdemeanor? 
The misdemeanor is not as great an offense as a felony.  A felony would leads to imprisonment in state prison.
#3: What county are you in the office of prosecutor? 
Nassau County in Long Island

DICK: “From tan to anemic”
#3: What do you have to do to own a revolver or automatic pistol in this state?
This is a stumper
#2: Same question
You have to have a gun permit…that’s all the time for now

POLLY:
#1: How do you address a governor?
Mr. Governor or Your Excellency
#2: Same Question
H.G., which means Big Governor?

JOHN:
#1: The difference between judo and jujitsu?
Judo could kill a man by hitting a certain nerve
#3: Which is the most deadly?
John moves on to #2, who says Judo
#2: What state are you secretary to the Governor?
New Jersey, name of Robert Minor. #1 can’t answer in time.

HILBY:
#1: Where’s the Statehouse?
Trenton, New Jersey, under Gov. Hoffman several years ago.
#1: What did you do in show business?
Sing, but not well enough, so she had to take up judo.

DICK:
#1: If I was a fourth offender and I was picked up for robbery what would that be? 
“You’d have to rob the warden boy, you’d be out of this world forever”
#2: Would registration of a revolver in the state be legal?
Not sure about the laws in New York

POLLY:
#3: How do YOU address the Governor?
“Your Excellency”
#3: Who is the second-in-command to a governor?
Blank
#1: Same question
A Lieutenant Governor
#1: Have you ever had any personal contact with a governor?
“I Sure have, wanna hear about it?”

JOHN:
#1: Where were you a Postmaster?
Rockville, Maryland
How large is Rockville?
She’s not sure, but she does know it’s the county seat of Montgomery County
How many postal carriers?
Not sure about the question
HILBY:
#2: How many grandchildren do you have?
“Oh, I have one!” sounds confused. #3 also says one, but #1 says three.  Just ran out of time for their ages.

VOTING TIME:

Polly: #1 (“The one I Think it is or the one I’m sure it isn’t”)
John: #1
Hilby: #3
Dick: #1

THE REAL MYRNA SHELTON IS:
#2 ($1,000)

And Polly felt the sweep coming. Hilby questions her about how she didn’t know about Lieutenant Governor.  She was thinking of his name before the bell rang.  And what about H.G.? Harold G Hoffman.  Tomorrow, Myrna’s starting civil service, starting as a secretary in and for the County Prosecutor’s Office.

#1: Gussie Mitchell, bridal consultant in China and Silver with Charles Schwartz and Sons in D.C. and Silver Springs

#3: Dorothy Munster, works as an exclusive dress shop in NYC (not sure of the name)

SECOND GUEST: Tom Joseph

I, Tom Joseph, was born and raised in Texas.  I am now a member of the Texas State Legislature.  After my discharge from the service, I attended college under the G.I. bill and graduated with a degree in agriculture.  I started with $350 and before I was 30 years I controlled more than $1 Million worth of real estate, had an interest in several oil wells, was Chairman of the board of Three Banks and Director of two others.  At one time, I received over six hundred proposals of marriage which in no way accounts for the face that I got married three days ago and now in New York on my Honeymoon.  I swear that the above statement is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. 

Signed, Tom Joseph

POLLY:
#1: Does the government have any sort of tax benefit for oil investments?
A 27.5% depletion income tax
#2: Any other benefits?
“Everything the government does for us depletes the resources”

JOHN:
#3: What about these marriage proposals? 
“After we brought in Charlie Three from Lubbock, he threw a party with an emcee from Hollywood.  It aired on TV where Tom was asked if he’d like a gorgeous wife with all those millions?  Proposals came in in just a week”

HILBY:
#1: Who takes care of your money?
The IRS handles the most of it.
#2: How did Texas vote in the last election?
Democratic

DICK:
#1: What is the chief byproduct of oil?
Petrochemicals, which includes gasoline of course.
#2: What is the largest byproduct? 
“Money brother, is there any other” Number #3 agrees.

POLLY:
#3: What’s the best investment you ever made?
“My Wife” AAAAWWWWW!
#2: What is your capacity in the State Legislature?
“Senator” and Polly doesn’t know much about Senators

JOHN:
#3: “What is the capital of Texas?”
Austin, but he was born in Brownwood
#3: “Where’s the Panhandle”
In the North, and Amarillo is there.
#1: Where were you born?
Not just Texas, Houston
What’s the Largest Town in Texas now?
Houston
#2: Same question: “Being Born in Dallas, I hate to say it out loud”
“What do you think of Fort Worth?”
It’s the Jumping-off place to West Texas.  He was born in Dallas

HILBY:
#3: “What is Rotation Planning?”
A system where you don’t deplete the land by using too much of the minerals by rotating crops.  And if you’re lucky you’ll get oil out of the hole.
#2: “Who is the head of the legislature”
Too much of a challenge to answer right away.

DICK:
#1: “Did you marry one of the 600 proposals?”
Oh sure, and she wasn’t a Texas girl.  She’s from Mississippi.

VOTING TIME

Polly: #3 (Going the other way this timE)
John: #3
Hilby: #3
Dick: #3

THE REAL TOM JOSEPH IS…
#1 (Polly’s hunch)

#2: W.G. Foster, Minister in Florence, SC

#3: Red Evans, songwriter and news publisher and he loves the new accent.  In fact, Polly recently recorded one of his songs.  He just missed the session.

And here comes the bride.  He did the proposing.

Time to say good night from:

  • Wrongway Coragan
  • Spike Jones
  • Mud
  • Eloise

To Tell the Truth is owned by Fremantle.

HOLLYWOOD SQUARES-February 1, 1981

Host: Peter Marshall
Announcer: Kenny Williams

O: Bonita Williams (Santa Ana, CA, originally from Nashville with Bahamian accent, former Navy Petty Officer, now a flight operator for major airline)
X: Calvin Rolling (Hanover, PA, high school guidance counselor, married to elem. teacher)

Round 1

Calvin Starts
1 Paul: In English, we know the three daughters of Zeus are Joy, Bloom and Brilliance. Together, they are known as the three what?
“Little Pigs”
Guess: The Three Muses
Calvin agrees O (Three Graces)
2 Marilyn and Billy: True or False? The man who wrote “Easter Parade” and “White Christmas” was Jewish.
Guess: True
Bonita agrees O (Irving Berlin)
3 Phyllis Diller to block: She’s wearing a choker, calling it a tiara worn low.
Question: Who’s the famous artist known for capturing the gay life in Paris?
Guess: Toulouse-Latrec
Calvin agrees X

Prize for Round 1: Chromcraft Dinette Set ($1,200+)

4 Garrett aka Chico Escuela: What does it mean when a baseball player fans?
Guess: Walks
Bonita agrees X (Strikes Out)
5 Robert: On Television, his buddies include Mr. Moose, Grandfather Clock and Bunny Rabbit. Who is it?
“Paul Lynde”
No Guess (Captain Kangaroo)
After Narcissus jilted Echo, who did he fall in love with?
Robert’s rusty in mythology, although he studied at Paloma College. Paloma is the goddess of fruit.
Calvin disagrees O
6 Tom to win: According to studies at Brown University, there are really only two odors that we consider good and clean. One is pine, what’s the other?
Tom: “A Danish”
Peter: “A Sweet Roll?”
Tom: “No, a Danish Flight Attendant”
“Has Paul Lynde been taken?”
Guess: Fresh Air
Bonita agrees X (Lemon)
7 Foster: How many days will uncooked poultry keep fresh?
“We’ll never know, because when we open the refrigerator, it flew away.”
Guess: 3 Days (Foster knows cooking)
Calvin agrees O (4 Days)
8 Elayne for 5-Square Win: According to the Cleveland Plane Dealer, out of every 10 women, how many are overweight?
“So hard to tell.” ” I guess you know you’re fat if your nightgown is pulling in CENSORED”
Guess: 6
Bonita disagrees WIN! (8 out of 10)

Round 2 Prize: Hamilton Charterole Grandfather Clock ($1,800+)

Today’s Big Winner:
* Trip to Kauai (1wk.@ Hanalai Bay, Airfare via Western)
* Botany 500 Men’s Wardrobe
* Skyway 8pc. Luggage
* Catalina His/Her Active Wear
* Fujica AX 35mm SLR Camera

Bonita starts
1 Paul: In his first term, Nixon was a minority president. What does that mean?
“He was Chinese”
Guess: He had the minority of votes and was still elected
Bonita agrees O (Less Than 50% of the Vote)
2 Tom: According to the L.A. Times, when travelling in the Arctic, eskimos usually stop every hour or so and do something. What do they do?
“Make Igloo”
Guess: They Eat
Calvin agrees O (Brew Tea)
3 Robert to win: The date, June 17th, 1972. The Place, Washington D.C.. You are there. What famous event is going on.
Guess: Kennedy took office
Bonita disagrees WIN! (Watergate Hotel was broken into)

Round 3 Prize: Admiral Fridge/Freezer, Gas Range and Dishwasher ($1,700+)

Calvin starts
1 Paul: If you have high blood pressure, there’s something that you’re probably going to have to learn to do without. What is it?
“Old Age”
Guess: Salt
Calvin agrees X
2 Phyllis Davis: According to Ask Beth (a column), if you think a guy has asked you out because you have large bust measurements, should you still go out with this fella?
Guess: “I would”
Bonita agrees (“Me Too” from Foster) O (It’s the only way to know)
3 Phyllis Diller: According to doctors, how long will the average facelift last before it starts to sag again?
“You’re looking at it” Phyllis had on and her own dog didn’t know her. That is, until he ate and threw up his dinner.
Guess: 5-10 years
Calvin agrees X
4 Marilyn and Billy to block: Back in the 60s, hitchhike, jerk and monkey were all what?
Marilyn says it’s before her time.
Guess: Dances
Bonita agrees O
5 Robert: One of the most famous quotes in history was when American soldiers said “Lafayette, We Are Here” Where were they?
“At the Kennedy Inauguration in 1972”
Guess: American Revolution
Calvin agrees O (Coming to the aid of France during WWI)
5 Garrett: What does it mean to talk turkey?
“Are you trying to be insulting?”
Guess:

Video cuts off here. If anyone knows about the rest of the episode, drop me a line.

Images of game board based on original by FromEquestria2LA on Deviantart.

Hollywood Squares is owned by King World Productions a part of CBS Media Ventures.

WHAT’S MY LINE?-Aired September 13, 1968

Host: Wally Bruner
Announcer: Johnny Olson
Panel:

  • Soupy Sales
  • Meredith MacRae
  • Gene Rayburn
  • Arlene Francis

Ah, but Arlene all of those things I have done, none of them compares with working with you on What’s My Line? and the rest of our very charming panel.

What things?? We don’t know, Buzzr clipped the intro again.

FIRST GUEST: Rufus Harley (Philadelphia, PA)

He’s self-employed and deals with a service.

Soupy: With what you’re wearing, would that have to do with what you do? (Afro-centric outfit)
It IS what he wears, but it’s not necessary $5
Meredith: Do you work for a profit-making organization?
Forgot the self-employed bit, she gets a pass.
Can your services be provided for both men and women?
Yes
Do you entertain people in any way?
Yes
Indoors more than outdoors?
Both, though mostly indoors. Not important, though.
Do people watch you?
Yes
You don’t touch people in any way?
No means Yes
Do you hold anything in your hand?
Yes
Can you perform on a nightclub stage?
Yes
When you have this thing in your hand, can you also move it away?
Yes
Are you a juggler?
No $10
Gene: Does who he do involve music?
Yes
Is his instrument in the string family?
No $15
Arlene: Is it a pipe?
Hmmmm, yes
Do you hold it in your mouth?
Yes
Something other than the flute?
Yes
Would knowing the instrument be essential?
Yes
“An instrument that we are not so accustomed to seeing in our orchestra?”
Yes
In the Kazoo Family?
No $20
Soupy, going through all of what Arlene has found out: Are you a clarinet player?
No $25
Meredith: The instrument longer than a whistle?
Yes
Do you play a recorder and cobras come up?
No $30
Gene: An instrument that the Western World is familiar with?
Yes 30 second warning
Is it a recorder?
No $35
Arlene with a final question: Does your costume bely the quality of the instrument, by that I mean is it anything like a bagpipe…

ARLENE DOES IT AGAIN! Yes, Rufus PLAYS BAGPIPES, Jazz bagpipe. He’s part of a four-piece combo and the American Federation of Musicians. Plus, he’s the only Left-Handed Bagpiper And of course, we have a performance.

SECOND GUEST: Bob Krugman (Chicago, IL)

He’s self-employed and deals with a product.

Arlene: Would I be interested in your product?
Possibly
Be interested for a man?
No $5
Soupy: Would it be good for an animal?
No $10
Meredith: Does your product come in contact with the body?
Yes
Is it other than clothing?
Absolutely not (No Means NO this time) $15
Gene: Is it an expensive product?

Does it change the appearance of the individual involved?
Hopefully
In the cosmetic field?
No $20
Arlene: Is it anything in the massage field?
No $25
Soupy: Benefit from the body up?
Sometimes “I’m beginning to understand you”
Soupy Passes
Meredith: When someone wears this product, can you see it?
Yes it’s not undergarments
Is it an accessory rather than a whole thing?
No $30
Gene: Is it made of animal substances?
Sometimes
Can also be made out of plastics?
In the broad sense
A harness?
No $35
Arlene: Would I be interested in buying for an animal?
No $40
Soupy: Would a woman wear this more than a man?
Definitely, Passes Again
Meredith (who was thinking Strait Jacket at one point): is it a bikini bathing suit?
No $45
Gene: Is it decorative?
Yes
Do you design the ones you make?
Yes
Is it made of fabrics?
Yes
Are they NOT utilitarian?
Yes means NO! Game over

Arlene would’ve gotten it: Bob makes MATERNITY CLOTHES, owner and designer of Plus One. Or Plus One Etc. depending on how many children a mother has. Before this, he was a stage actor and rock singer.

MYSTERY GUEST

Wally figures it’s okay to cut the panel 30 seconds, since this one is so well known. (2 1/2 Minutes Total)

Meredith: Are you in the entertainment business? “You might say that” (Sounds like Paul Lynde)
Gene: Are you primarily an actor? No
Arlene: Are you in the theater? No
Soupy: Are you known mostly for television? “Sort of”
Meredith: Have you ever had your own television series? Yes
Gene: Do you sing? “Sort of” (Deep-voiced)
Arlene: Are you singing someplace around New York at the present time? Yes (About to burst)
Soupy: Would this be in a nightclub? Yes and No
Meredith: Are you also known for your recordings? Yes
Gene guesses Mel Torme…RIGHT!

Mel was nervous after he did an interview with Patrick O’Neal. When O’Neal asked about lunch, Mel let him know off the record. Pat joked that he was on the panel. Soupy talks about a special Mel did with the Marty Page Group. Gene was amazed Mel could disguise his voice.

Closing: Looking back on the past week, Wally points out some great highlights. Soupy learning Yoga, Meredith’s father as a mystery guest and Arlene’s amazing skills. She doesn’t take all the credit for the work.

What’s My Line? is owned by Fremantle.

LET’S MAKE A DEAL-October 9, 1984

Host: Monty Hall
Featuring: Brian Cummings and Karen LaPierre

THREE PLAYERS: Patti Gray (banana), Bo Benson (baboon), and Sarah Knapp (shocking pink crayon)

There’s a fresh, crisp $1 bill for each of our group. However, they could turn into a lot money with the Fantastic Money Machine. It’ll turns dollar bills into other bills, $100; $500, maybe a Thousand. Patti can go first OR can buy Curtain #3 for that little dollar. She’s sure to get a supply of Os-Cal Calcium. That’s enough for her to buy. Had that dollar gone through the machine, it would’ve become…a THOUSAND DOLLAR BILL. Patti does have the calcium and more…CALCIUM STRAIGHT FROM THE FARM. MOO!

Bo can try the Money Machine unless the comet box interests him. He wants the money machine. Inside the box a Vitamaster Pro 1000 Exercise Bike and Hitachi 13″ TV ($1,019.95) “But you went for the dough, Beau” And the singleton is now…$500. Now for Sarah: The Money Machine or Curtain #1? She takes the curtain. The Money Machine was still on the $500 setting. Too late, Sarah’s won herself… TWO PUNK ROCKERS (chairs)

NEXT TRADER: Sheila Pierre (Bumblebee)

Monty has two things for Sheila, but she can only have one: A Teddy Roosevelt Series EE Savings Bond or a can of Jolly Time Popcorn. The audience says Popcorn, but Sheila takes the bond. Monique, seated in front of Sheila, gets the can. Inside…just popcorn! The audience was wrong! Sheila can still trade that bond for the diamond box. NOPE! It would’ve been…a White-Westinghouse 17 cu. ft. Fridge/Freezer filled Bright & Early Drink ($864.95) Monique has spilled the popcorn all over the floor! All because she didn’t trust Monty Hall! SURPRISE!

Back to Sheila, she guesses the Teddy Roosevelt is worth “couple of thousand”. Is it worth trading for the small box? The bee keeps her money, honey. In Brian’s Box…A PANDA PLUSHIE.

So how much is that bond worth? We’ll open it…

DOOR #4

People Picker: #34

Millie Perry (red hula girl)

Same drill, take the BIG CASH behind Door #4 or take this behind Curtain #3: A Konica CV301 Video Camera and Panasonic Portable Video Recorder ($1,549). Millie says, “I’m a gambler” Open the Door:

$ 2 3 9 9!

She’s happy and so is her son, the farmer. We’ll she give him some of the money? “I might”

And Sheila, we didn’t forget to open the bond…we’re just not going to do it yet.

NEXT COUPLE: Earl and Margie Eddy (fireman in overalls and a chef respectively)

And they brought cookies!! That won’t help them in this deal. What the Eddys need is $7 to buy this: $7 A Volkswagen Sports Coupe ($13,441)

$1: 3.5 oz. Sanwa Ramen Soup within 30 cents.
Guess: 49¢ ARP: 49¢
$2: Near East Rice Pilaf (7 oz.) within 40 cents.
Guess: 79¢ ARP: 89¢
$3: Pearl Drops Smokers Tooth Polish 3 oz. within $1
Guess: $2.50 ARP: $4.03 (No harm, no fowl)
$4: True Value 3pc. Cutlery within $2
Guess: $40

First, Monty has more than $7 for the Eddy now. $200, if they give up on the car. $300…$350…$375…$400…$425…$450…$475…$500 DONE!

ARP: $29.95 (All good)

RECAP

Millie$2,399
Bo$500
Earl & Maggie$500
PattiBUM STEER
SarahHOY! HOY!
Sheila???

BIG DEAL OF THE DAY: $8,183

Sheila decides to pass up the three doors for that pic of Teddy Roosevelt. The Eddys and Bo step up with same amount. SNEAK PEEK:

Good eatings from KFC. What else? We’ll find out after…

Stylish Catalina His/Her Active Wear, Nike Sneakers and Apparel and Helbros His/Her Watches (3 each) ($1,295) And trying all that on is…no one.

Something less active, a Simmons Hide-a-Bed and Sharp Component Stereo & 19″ TV. ($2,847) That’s a good time for…the Eddys.

And to top off Bo’s big meal…a Schaefer & Sons Californian Grand Piano. He dabbles a little, but Monty will help with lessons…a check for $1,750 ($8,183)

Sheila gets one last offer, $500 for the bond. Well, she’s come this far, so the bond it is. At maturity value: $1,000! But who has time for maturity? The bank of Hall will pay it right now.

Total Winnings: $14,429

Quickie Deals: Monique, who spilled the Jolly Time, can get $100 for two lipsticks. She only gets $50

The image of the three doors is from cwashington2019 on Deviantart.

Let’s Make a Deal is owned by Fremantle

PASSWORD-October 3, 1966

Host: Allen Ludden
Announcer: Lee Vines

Carol Burnett and Mary-Louise Canot (Huntington Beach, CA) ($200) vs. Ross Martin (The Wild Wild West) and Paul Sickler (Sherman Oaks, CA, teaches High School English)

GAME #2: WORD #1-Carol gives to Mary-Louise

10 points: GRIDDLE-PANCAKE
9: BARBECUE-STEAK
8: FIRE-FLAME
7: QUESTION-RIDDLE (He was so sure)
6: OPEN-OVEN
5: BAR-BARBECUE
4: GRIDDLE-IRON
3: SCREEN-GRID
2: HAMBURGERS-(Blank)
1: GRID-“I Don’t Know” GRILL

WORD #1.1-Carol gives again

10: “What’s the name of that Place?” HOME (dreamy tone)-MANSION 10
Carol was thinking of San Simeon.

WORD #2-Paul to Ross

10: ABE-HONEST Tie Game

WORD #3-Carol gives

10: LEND-BORROW 20

WORD #4-Paul gives

10: CORPORAL-BODILY
9 (to win): SERGEANT-LIEUTENANT
8: BUCK-PRIVATE

WORD #5-Carol gives

10 (to win): PIANO-ORCHESTRA
9: OPENING-CONCERTO
8 (to win): STEINWAY-RECITAL
7: ELEGEANCE-CONCERT
6 (to win): UPRIGHT-GRAND Up to $300

Paul, sadly, has flunked out.

LIGHTNING ROUND #1

YORTY-MAYOR
FALSE-TRUE (counts as TRUTH)
SODA-POP
MOUSE-CAT, BIGGER-RAT
RAT-MOUSE $250 in 22.5 sec. (The audience’s laughter gave it away as much as Carol)

Came close to the record of 12 sec. by Peter Lawford. “Oh, he’s a cheater!”

Next group:

Carol and Richard Robert (Le Mesa, CA, account executive with major brokerage firm) vs Ross and Jo-Ellen Katz (Santa Monica, CA, into refurnishing old furniture and traveling)

GAME #1: WORD #1-Carol to Richard

10 points: WHISTLE-SHRILL
9: BEEP-TWEET
8: BOAT-FOGHORN (And Carol now has a perfect clue)
7: TRAIN-TOOT
“Rooty” was what Carol though off, as in Rooty-Toot-Toot. Toot-Toot wouldn’t fallen under form of the word.

WORD #2-Richard gives

10: DONKEY-JACKASS
9: MEXICAN-BURRO 16

WORD #3-Carol gives

“How old are you, Richard?”
10: DONKEY-SERENADE (he was old enough)

WORD #4-Jo-Ellen gives

10 (to win): MATADOR-BULLFIGHTER
9: PANTS-TOREADOR 19

WORD #5-Ross gives

10 (to win): ADVENTURE-ROMANCE $100

LIGHTNING ROUND #2

OYSTER-STEW, SEASHELL-CLAM
DANGEROUS-TREACHEROUS, OPPOSITE-SAFE
SHELL-CLAM, CRAWL-CRAB then LOBSTER, GROUNDS-BAND, SWEATER-nothing, NECK-TURTLE
TELEPHONE-CALL, WIRE-LINE
BING-BONG, AGAIN-CROSBY, HIT-SLAM, SLAM-BANG Perfect $350

GAME #2 (Men vs. Women): WORD #1-Ross to Richard

10 points: BASH-DRUNK
9: FIGHT-BRAWL

WORD #2-Jo-Ellen gives

10: KINGSTON-TRIO

And we must pause for today. Now that the sparring is over, Ross can gush over Carol. That is, until Allen mentions her husband’s in the audience.

The password today is REMINDER. Here’s a quick reminder that the men in the service appreciate your letters and they certainly deserve your support.

Password is owned by Fremantle.

CELEBRITY FAMILY FEUD-July 8, 2008

Host: Al Roker
Announcer: Burton Richardson

FIRST MATCHUP

“Your favorite paper pushers” are going up against “strong competition.”

The Office (playing for Children’s Advocacy Center of NE Pennsylvania): Brian Baumgartner (Kevin), Phyllis Smith (Phyllis), Kate Flannery (Kate), Oscar Nunez (Oscar) and Creed Bratton (Creed)
American Gladiators (playing for Women’s Sports Foundation): Laila Ali (host), Wolf, Venom, Titan and Jet

Round 1: Top Six Answers

We asked 100 married women: Name someone who comes to your door that you might be tempted to have an affair with.
Laila: Mailman #1 (53)
Gladiators:

  • Wolf: “Water Man”
  • Venom: Cable Guy #5 (4)
  • Titan (while flexing): Pool Guy #6 (3)
  • Jet: Gardener #4 (4)
  • Laila: Delivery Guy #2 (17)
  • Wolf: Handyman
  • Venom: Gladiator

The Office to steal: Pizza Delivery Gladiators get 81

THE MAILMAN53THE CABLE GUY4
UPS/FEDEX17THE POOL GUY3
NEIGHBOR/FRIEND13
THE GARDENER4

Round 2: Top Six Again

After a quick arm wrestling match…
Name something people blow up.
Wolf: Balloons #1 (49)
Gladiators:

  • Venom: Blow-Up Dolls #4 (5 with all types)
  • Titan: Fireworks #3 (5)
  • Jet: Mailboxes #5 (3)
  • Laila: Bubble Gum
  • Wolf: Pool, Al apologizes to Wolf, but the board’s not afraid
  • Titan: Bubbles

The Office to steal: Balls Gladiators up to 143.

BALLOONS49MAILBOXES3
BUILDINGS/HOUSES17BRIDGES3
FIREWORKS5
DOLLS5

TRIPLE ROUND: Top 4 Answers

No arm wrestling between Kate and Venom, just comparing.
Name something people practice doing in a very sexy way.
Kate: Talking on the Phone #2 (16)
Venom: Dances #3 (One point shy)
The Office:

  • Oscar: Putting on makeup
  • Creed: Kissing #4 (7)
  • Brian: Making the Whoopee
  • Phyllis: Walks (Sweep to Survive, 234)
WALKING40KISSING7
TALKING16
DANCING15

SUDDEN DEATH

Oscar and Titan chest bump before coming out fighting (Ouch)…

We asked 100 married men, name something your mother does better than your wife does.
Oscar: Cook (and a power pose)…WIN! (71, Total of 447)

SECOND MATCHUP:

A Sitcom grudge match, small town style.

All playing in character
The Hickeys (“My Name Is Earl“) (playing for Family Crisis Resources) Earl Hickey (Jason Lee), Randy Hickey (Ethan Suplee, “No Deal”), Joy Turner (Jaime Pressly, “Where’s the Camera?”), Darnell “Crabman” Turner (Eddie Steeples) and Catalina Aruca (Nadine Velazquez, “Hello, all countries that have TVs”)
“Camden County All-Stars” (same show) (playing for New Hope Housing of Alexandria, VA, and the leftover cash for a party at Chubby’s liquor) TV’s Tim Stack, Patty the Daytime Hooker (Dale Dickey), Wilford (Tim’s agent), Kenny James (Gregg Binkley) and Nescobar-A-Lop-Lop (Abdoulaye N’Gom)

Round 1: Top Five Answers

We asked 100 women: Name someone you hate to read about the guy you almost married.
Tim: He’s has more money #1 (32)
Camden County:

  • Patty: “He Didn’t Like Cars”
  • Wilford: “He’s Been in Jail” #2 (23)
  • Kenny “He’s Really Strong”
  • Nescobar “He’s Stingy”

Hickeys to steal: He Was Your Cousin UUGHH! Camden County gets 55

HE’S RICH32HE’S GAY11
HE’S A CRIMINAL23
HE’S DEAD/HURT17
HE’S MARRIED13

Round 2: Top Four Answers

Name something that makes more noise the older it gets.
Patty: Car #1 (62)
Passes to Hickeys:

  • Joy: Babies #3 (7, with all people)
  • Crabman: Washing Machine #2 (8)
  • Catalina: Gogo Boots
  • Earl: Moustaches
  • Randy: Licorice Sticks

Camden County to Steal: Fridge…#4 for 77 more. (Total: 132)

CAR62
WASHING MACHINE8
PEOPLE7
REFRIGERATOR5

TRIPLE ROUND: Top Four Again

Name something women wear that hurts.
Joy: (started to say Nipple)
Wilford: High Heels #1 (43)
Camden County:

  • Kenny: Bra #2 (27)
  • Nescobar: Tight Skirt
  • Tim: Thong Panties #4 (5)
  • Patty: Girdle Total Sweep (Final Score: 423)
SHOES/HEELS43
BRA27
GIRDLE22
THONG5

FINALS: The Office vs. Camden County
Round 1: Top Six Answers

Name something a woman might do if she found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her.
Brian: “Get Physical With Him” #2 (30, specifically “Hurt/Kill Him”)
Tim: “Kill Him” Divorce Him #1 (37, “Dump Him”)
Camden County:

  • Patty: “Leave an Ugly Answer on his Phone Machine”
  • Wilford: “Tape Him Singing in His Underwear and put it on YouTube” (I Only Wish I Was Kidding)
  • Kenny: Just Cry

The Office to Steal: Having an Affair Herself…Got it for 67 points.

DUMP HIM37DAMAGE CAR/TIRES6
HURT/KILL HIM30DESTROY CLOTHES5
CHEAT ON HIM7
HIT THE FLOOZIE6

Round 2: Top Five Answers

Name a sexy Jessica.
Phyllis: Simpson #1 (36)
The Office:

  • Kathy: Alba #2 (35)
  • Oscar: Alveraz (Anchorwoman)
  • Creed: Miss Jessica (His Second Grade Teacher)
  • Brian: Lange

Camden County to Steal: Tandy (She was so hot…in 1929) The Office goes to 138

JESSICA SIMPSON36JESSICA RABBIT7
JESSICA ALBA35
SARAH JESSICA PARKER8
JESSICA BIEL8
And the others wanted Jessica Rabbit

TRIPLE ROUND: Top Four Answers

Name something about their fathers that kids brag about.
Wilford: That their actually their Father
Kate: Bigger and stronger #1 (43)
Office:

  • Oscar: Richer #2 (29)
  • Creed: Gets All the Women
  • Brian: Smarter #3 (7)
  • Phyllis: Nicer Car
  • Kate: Good at Sports

Camden County to Stay Alive: “My Dad’s Not in Jail” Office Sweeps 375

BIG/STRONG43GOOD LOOKS6
GOOD JOB/INCOME29
SMART7

“Camden County: All-Stars” receive the $10,000 runner-up prize.

FAST MONEY:

Questions:

  • We asked 100 married men, name something your wife stops doing when she’s mad at you.
  • Name something you need to play pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey with
  • Name a big shoe size for a man
  • Name something a married couple might have two of
  • Name a part of the body that bends

Brian:

KISSING YOU0
A PIN33
THIRTEEN*23
CARS28
WAIST6
TOTAL90
* (Number #1 Answer)

Oscar:

NAGGING*39
BULLSEYE0
TWELVE21
CHILDREN*47
ELBOW40
TOTAL$50,000 237
* (Number #1 Answer) Blindfold was the second #1 answer, Knee/Leg was the 5th.

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